# Fear of Dying - Rational or not? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 20, 2005, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208 "2005-04-20T11:19:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/21 "2005-04-21T02:40:40Z")
I’m not afraid of dying at all, but I **am** afraid of dying slowly and painfully. I’m a coward, I guess, but I really just want to go to sleep one night and not wake up. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/22 "2005-04-21T02:41:56Z")
**TellMeI’mNotCrazy** , thanks for those lyrics! That is one of my favorite pieces ever and I’ve never been able to make out all of the words at the beginning. When I was in my twenties and thirties, I was terribly frightened of dying and being dead. I would wake up in the night almost gasping with the thought _I’m going to die!_ I felt sorry for old people – anyone over fifty – because they were on the verge of certain death and must dread it daily. I am almost sixty-two. The intense fear began to fade sometime in my forties and is just not a big concern. I don’t want to waste time worrying about it. Fill up your days with good things. ---
**Author:** ![Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walker_in_Eternity)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/23 "2005-04-21T07:55:14Z")
> [@ErinPuff](#): > > Death scares me shitless. It’s the idea of not existing anymore while the rest of the world keeps going, like **RunSilent** said. I don’t know if I believe in an afterlife or reincarnation or anything, but I really hope there’s _something_. (Unless it’s the fundie concept of Heaven and Hell, because I know where I’d end up, unless having been baptized makes up for the liberalism.) I agree enitrely with your view on this. What surprises me here is the amount of non religious people who have no fear of death. I can sort of understand if you believe in an afterlife how that would give you some comfort when dying, but to the non theists I’m amazed at how many face extinction with such a positive view. I wish I could learn how to do that, without adopting a faith. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/24 "2005-04-21T11:04:53Z")
I can get a bit like that, **Stryfe**. What helped with me is that someone (I can’t for the life of me remember who) once said on a television discussion program on this very topic that every night when she sleeps, the dreamless part is pretty much the same thing as being dead. That thought helped me lot in thinking of death as less frightening. It presumes you don’t believe in an afterlife, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/25 "2005-04-21T11:28:30Z")
I believe in an afterlife, and I’m still afraid of dying. In fact, one reason why I am afraid of death is because it will happen to everyone. I can alter the manner of my life, but I cannot avoid the fact of my death. Oddly enough, since I really faced this, I have made positive changes in my life. I still have that fear of dying though, but not as much. Scare tactics by over-religious relatives were a factor in the degree of my fears. Someone tells you that if by some chance you’re in a car accident or get murdered, you’re going to hell, just as a bonus after dying a horrible death, you’d be scared too. Damn them, telling that stuff to children. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/26 "2005-04-21T19:17:16Z")
I’m afraid of dying the way that my grandmother did: slowly, over the course of years. One illness or injury after another, and never _quite_ bouncing back all the way. I’m afraid of losing my intelligence and my ability to function on my own. That said, I’m not afraid of _death_ per se. In class, we recently read _On the Nature of Things_ by Lucretius, and he describes death as sleeping: if you’re asleep, you could sleep forever, and it would be just fine, because you don’t realize you’re asleep. You don’t realize much of anything. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/27 "2005-04-21T19:45:06Z")
> [@RunSilent](#): > > I hear many people say they are not afraid to die, but I don’t believe them. Believe it, at least some of the time. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m not going to welcome Death should she come looming over my cubicle wall right now. I hope I would try brain her with my stapler. I am afraid of dying poorly. When the guy 3 rows down from me comes in wearing camos and carrying assault rifles, I don’t want him to find me cowering beneath my desk or behind one of the assistants, begging to be left alone. However, I won’t know how I’ll act in such a situation until it actually arrives, and statistically, the chances of that situation arriving are only slightly higher than the chances of me winning tonights $205 million Mega-Millions jackpot. Actually, they’re significantly higher if I don’t remember to spend a buck on a ticket on the way home ---
**Author:** ![Stillwell\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@Stillwell\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stillwell_Angel)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/28 "2005-04-22T03:16:09Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > …what the Hell is not-existing _like_?" I used to freak out about this issue too until I looked at it differently. None of us existed before we were born. I dont remember that time of non-existance so it’s highly unlikely I will notice it when it happens at my death. When I look at it like that, not existing doesn’t seem so freaky. ---
**Author:** ![Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/29 "2005-04-22T14:17:29Z")
Count me in as another one who isn’t afraid of dying. I am afraid of getting sick and/or having severe medical problems. Now thinking about other people I care about dying can induce a panic attack in me. Might be strange, but when I die it won’t bother me, just the ones that are left behind. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/30 "2005-04-22T15:15:17Z")
> [@Stillwell Angel](#): > > I used to freak out about this issue too until I looked at it differently. > > None of us existed before we were born. I dont remember that time of non-existance so it’s highly unlikely I will notice it when it happens at my death. > > When I look at it like that, not existing doesn’t seem so freaky. Yeah, but I didn’t know any better before I existed, because I didn’t exist. Now that I am here, I don’t want to go back to that. Back to **nothing**. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/31 "2005-04-22T15:45:01Z")
I am less frightened of death than I used to be. This may be simply a product of getting older (fifty is now just a few years away), or it may be that I realize that most of what I want to see accomplished on this earth is either done, or close enough that it will won’t matter too much whether I am here or not. My kids are, if not grown, at least well on their way, and have established their own personalities, interests, and are working on their life goals. They are reasonably (for teenagers) level-headed, and seem to have absorbed enough of my values that I will not be unhappy with the choices they will make. Of course, they will make mistakes, but I am confident that they will come out OK, given time. I have made a professional success in my career, and, between savings, life insurance, my 401(k), and my wife’s retirement pay, she would have enough to live on comfortably. So, if I were diagnosed with a fatal illness tomorrow, I would of course be sad, but I believe I could accept it with a certain degree of equanimity. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/32 "2005-04-23T11:50:51Z")
Just reading this thread, I found it difficult to breathe and I am on the verge of tears. **Stryfe** and **ErinPuff** and **RunSilent** , move on over and let me share the coward bench, please. It was a great comfort to read posts by those who said they became less afraid as they aged. I hope that is the case with me. There are nights when I am just drifting off to sleep, and suddenly my brain goes on alert. _What if I never wake up?_ Of course, dying in my sleep would be preferable to any type of painful death, or even a death where I am aware of dying. I am afraid of dying. I am afraid of not existing. And yet, I am also afraid of outliving my husband so in some ways, I’d rather be the first to die. And if either of my children were to die before me…forget it. Hmmm. I seem to have ruined my own day now, just by reading this thread. Not like I couldn’t have guessed what it is about. Anyone know any good books which might help put this fear into perspective? ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/33 "2005-04-23T12:23:26Z")
What if the ancient Sumerians were right? They were possibly the first people to speculate on what goes on after death…and their conclusions are pretty scarey! They thought that the dead inhabited a land which was cold, dark, and dreary. There was nothing to eat but muck, and stagnant water to drink. The sun never rose…so it was a land of purpetual twilight. There was no friendship, no love , and nopleasure. Thing of that, for eternity! (Shudder!) ---
**Author:** ![purplepeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@purplepeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplepeach)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/34 "2005-04-23T12:28:32Z")
Personally the thought of dying gives me a horrible sick feeling. I hate to think that I will miss out on everything that will be going on in the world. I’m kinda fond of it. I’ve got my fingers crossed for an afterlife of some sort. Reincarnation would be nice too. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208/35 "2005-04-23T13:26:13Z")
Sign me up with the not-afraid-of-death people. I do believe in an afterlife, but even if I’m wrong about that, no big deal. Now, when the guy in camo w/the assault rifle comes, I’m fairly certain I’ll be cowering under the desk begging for my life, but I’m not worrying about it until the moment arrives. What I’m most afraid of is torture. What I’m most irrationally afraid of is tight enclosed spaces (I recently discovered when I went for an MRI). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-of-dying-rational-or-not/300208.md?page=1)