# Feasibility of eating paper for survival **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 9, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923 "2012-01-09T15:31:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/1 "2012-01-09T15:31:05Z")
It’s the apocalypse and I’m stuck in this mail room with nothing but 60 tons of white computer paper to eat. How long would I survive on an all-paper diet? ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/2 "2012-01-09T15:39:49Z")
Not long at all. Paper has effectively zero nutritional value. It is mostly cellulose, which, although a carbohydrate, is indigestible for humans. You might get a tiny amount of usable sugar released from it by gut bacteria, but nothing significant. You will be getting no vitamins and no protein from it. Very likely it will also contain toxic chemicals, such as bleaching agents or white pigments. You will starve to death about as quickly as you would eating nothing at all; maybe quicker as you will shit a lot and that might waste substances you would be better off hanging on to. I am assuming you have adequate water. If not, you will die of thirst anyway well before you starve. ---
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/3 "2012-01-09T15:40:54Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Not long at all. Paper has effectively zero nutritional value. It is mostly cellulose, which, although a carbohydrate, is indigestible for humans. You might get a tiny amount of usable sugar released from it by gut bacteria, but nothing significant. You will be getting no vitamins and no protein from it. Very likely it will also contain toxic chemicals, such as bleaching agents or white pigments. > > You will starve to death about as quickly as you would eating nothing at all; maybe quicker as you will shit a lot and that might waste substances you would be better off hanging on to. > > I am assuming you have adequate water. If not, you will die of thirst anyway well before you starve. Of course I have adequate water. Every mail room has at least one water cooler, right? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/4 "2012-01-09T16:46:08Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Not long at all. Paper has effectively zero nutritional value. It is mostly cellulose, which, although a carbohydrate, is indigestible for humans. You might get a tiny amount of usable sugar released from it by gut bacteria, but nothing significant. You will be getting no vitamins and no protein from it. Very likely it will also contain toxic chemicals, such as bleaching agents or white pigments. > > You will starve to death about as quickly as you would eating nothing at all; maybe quicker as you will shit a lot and that might waste substances you would be better off hanging on to. > > I am assuming you have adequate water. If not, you will die of thirst anyway well before you starve. So … feed it to the cow you keep in the break room, and drink the milk. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/5 "2012-01-09T16:54:29Z")
Better than a cow: Cultivate a colony of termites, which have gut bacteria that can digest cellulose. Eat the termites. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/6 "2012-01-09T20:38:49Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Better than a cow: Cultivate a colony of termites, which have gut bacteria that can digest cellulose. Eat the termites. Win! Never considered termites. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/7 "2012-01-09T20:49:21Z")
I would think that unless you deliberately drink MORE than the usual amount of water, ingestion of only paper would pose the threat of impaction somewhere along the digestive tract. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/8 "2012-01-09T21:14:58Z")
> [@CheeseDonkey](#): > > It’s the apocalypse and I’m stuck in this mail room with nothing but 60 tons of white computer paper to eat. > > How long would I survive on an all-paper diet? You shouldn’t eat the paper. I am SURE I used to hear a lot of stuff about a paperless orifice. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/9 "2012-01-09T23:45:09Z")
> [@Celyn](#): > > You shouldn’t eat the paper. I am SURE I used to hear a lot of stuff about a paperless orifice. > Or something like that. Most paperless offices subscribe to the “scan once, print twice” school of thought 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/10 "2012-01-10T00:11:09Z")
You wil die. Unlike a cow, your stomach cannot break down cellulose. Wasn’t there a proposal to feed recycled newsprint to cows? ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/11 "2012-01-10T00:25:04Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > You wil die. Unlike a cow, your stomach cannot break down cellulose. > Wasn’t there a proposal to feed recycled newsprint to cows? So, can cattle actually eat newsprint with no ill effects, then? Surely there would be a few (or a lot) of chemical things to get rid of first? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/12 "2012-01-10T01:04:23Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > You wil die. Unlike a cow, your stomach cannot break down cellulose. > Wasn’t there a proposal to feed recycled newsprint to cows? Would it help to eat, throw it up and rechew and eat it again, trying to duplicate what a cow does? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/13 "2012-01-10T01:11:00Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > I would think that unless you deliberately drink MORE than the usual amount of water, ingestion of only paper would pose the threat of impaction somewhere along the digestive tract. You mean like a paper jam? ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/14 "2012-01-10T01:40:28Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > You mean like a paper jam? That would be fine, wouldn’t? Given that the law is: > [@](#): > > “The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday – but never jam to-day.” then **CheeseDonkey** would not suffer a paper jam. Might get very \*\*very \*\*hungry though. Has m’learned friend \*\*CheeseDonkey \*\* considered a bit of auto-cannibalism? I mean, all that cheese available, and that’s even before you feel a need to kill the donkey. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/15 "2012-01-10T02:23:05Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Would it help to eat, throw it up and rechew and eat it again, trying to duplicate what a cow does? Just give up and die already! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![brocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@brocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brocks)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/16 "2012-01-10T03:08:26Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > You mean like a paper jam? Very tasty with peanut butter. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/17 "2012-01-10T07:35:33Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Better than a cow: Cultivate a colony of termites, which have gut bacteria that can digest cellulose. Eat the termites. Or boil the paper to sterilise it, then stack it and use as a growth medium for saprophytic fungi such as oyster or shiitake mushrooms ---
**Author:** ![groman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@groman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groman)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/18 "2012-01-10T13:37:43Z")
Taking this silly thread back to it’s GQ origins, sorry: I occasionally see cellulase supplements on the shelves of health food stores and such. Say you had a huge supply of those as well, would that help? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feasibility-of-eating-paper-for-survival/608923/19 "2012-01-10T15:08:10Z")
> [@groman](#): > > Taking this silly thread back to it’s GQ origins, sorry: > > I occasionally see cellulase supplements on the shelves of health food stores and such. Say you had a huge supply of those as well, would that help? I don’t think so. Cellulase turns cellulose into cellobiose, which also is not digestible by humans.