The thought of my wife NOT working was never a consideration. She likes to work and always has. I’ll probably retire someday soon because we both don’t need to work anymore and she seems to have more fun working than I do.
That being said we raised 3 kids and all are grown now so we don’t live frugally or make any attempt to, we’ll still leave them enough. I just asked her and she said she has never had any regrets working outside the home, she is very happy and the thought of staying home all the time was her idea of a living hell. We both make on the other side of 6 figures and live for all intents and purposes on a single income, either one. We don’t need a bigger house or a newer car and take 4-6 vacations a year. I guess our kids will get it all someday.
So, you have at least one couple that both work because we Want to, and that’s pretty much the only reason. Extra money is and always has been a secondary result.
I see your hormones, and raise to never-had-a-husband-to-support-me hormones. The job I never wanted has always been the only option, for me. Oh, and I don’t have any kids, either. My cat loves me though. She snuffled the tears off my cheeks last night when I was crying after a rotten day at work.
Oh right, thread relevance: my household is single-income, but my household consists of me and my cat. Financially, we’re doing a-okay. House, car, all the kibble she can eat, even a vacation this year.
I think a good amount of it has to do with too much house. Granted, the sample is small, but I watch the House Hunters shows where there’s a family with one kid and three bedrooms and they’ve “outgrown the house”. A house with a den, a living room, and a backyard. Huh? What more do you need for three people?
I work a good job and take home $2400 a month. If I had a partner who did the same, the $1000s of mortgages I hear about would wipe us out each month, not to mention having to support a family. But we could afford a two bedroom condo or even a very modest house.
Serious question - why do you think it is that so many Americans seem desire so much more house than the majority of folk in most other parts of the world live in? Or so much more than our ancestors had?
I’m always almost - I don’t know - embarrassed when I think of or see pictures of how little my parents and grandparents had, and what close quarters they lived in. But they considered themselved comfortable - even well off.
I respect a desire for privacy–which is the ultimate luxury. I mean, really, who doesn’t WANT a bedroom and a study and a den all to themselves? I’m not excusing people who overextend themselves for mortgages or high rents when they really don’t need the space, but… if you can afford it, I say, more power to you.
Uh - me. What need/desire do you have for separate rooms for sleeping, studying and - what - denning? And then, how large must those rooms be?
I guess I’m a little radical in that I believe there can be ethical components to certain consumption choices. So I don’t completely go along with the thought that just because someone can afford something - more power to them.
We feel exactly the same way, and now that our kids are gone, we still feel it. My wife now makes from writing close to what she would make in an outside job (with considerably less in commuting expenses) but even when she wasn’t the quality of life improvement was far greater than having an expensive car. There are the repair people, there is the lack of stress about who takes off to stay home for something, and there was the fact that we could raise guide dogs because she was home.
Plus, she is doing something she enjoys far more than a regular job.
But to be fair, I can imagine people who would hate staying home. It takes all kinds.
Right, but it doesn’t mean a one-income family just can’t make it. They could make it, they just can’t make it and have all the extra space. That wouldn’t be the tragedy it’s made out to be.
It’s a matter of priorities. I have nothing against a Lexus, though I wouldn’t want one. And I understand, and respect, people who both work to give their kids an education. Where I grew up college was just a given for all my friends, and the attitude of my school was that you should go to the best college you can afford - and I worked in our college office for two years, so I know. Around here one of the teachers told his class that the local CSU or community college (not Berkeley!) was just as good as Harvard. I object to parents who bought into this either because they went to a second rate school and have become convinced their school should really be at the top of the ratings, or that they don’t want to sacrifice anything to send their kids to the best school which is right for them. That description sure doesn’t match your parents. My parents scrimped and saved to pay for my reasonably expensive college also. (Though cheap by today’s standards.)
Having done this twice, my advice is to not even think about the “right” college, but think of the best match for what your kids want when they are ready to go. My younger daughter would have hated and despised the college my older daughter went to, which my older daughter loved. Neither of them were the slightest bit interested in the colleges we went to.
Plus, no one has any idea of what colleges will be looking for when your kids are ready. I’ve seen glimmerings of understanding that pushing kids to kill themselves in high school not being a good idea in articles from the admissions office in my alumni magazine. So this is a vote of agreement that you shouldn’t stress your kids out.
My parents did it. My father built their first house and this was in the 50’s when banks weren’t too fond of the transaction. He bought the land, had the basement dug and then went to the bank with plans in-hand. We had TV trays for end tables and the phone was a party line so you had to wait if another household was on the line. My dad carpooled so mom would have the car available to do chores.
Christmas usually meant we got needed items to bulk up the tree (socks, t-shirts etc…).
I wouldn’t mind living the life of my parents with the exception of air conditioning. But if we had the internet back then I’d figure out how to make one.
I thought about this thread when I came to this passage in A Thread of Grace by Mary Doria Russell:
“Sweating even in the chill of autumn, Battista swabs his tanned bald head with a thin rag. His sister spun its wool the spring before he married Rosa. His mother wove the fabric, and made a shirt for his wedding after the grape harvest was in. He wore that shirt for the baptisms of his children, and on every Sunday for fifteen years. It served for work ten years more, and then Rosa made squares of it. Carefully hemmed, the handkerchief will do another decade of duty in Battista’s pocket.”