# February makes us shiver with each new rant it delivers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2015, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492 "2015-02-01T05:13:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/21 "2015-02-02T04:13:37Z")
My husband’s last wife was seriously depressed during the last years of her life and turned into a hoarder. Hey, If I was dying of cancer, I’d be pretty depressed as well. Thanks to their housekeeper, everything was neatly tucked away in closets and unused rooms. After we got married, I ignored the boxes full of junk for about a year, because it felt disrespectful. Finally, I asked my beloved butthead if I could start dealing with it. He thought it was a great idea and thanked me for doing it because he just couldn’t. Sometimes we had “discussions” about stuff I’d put in boxes to take out…“Hey, those are perfectly good sheets, I can give them to the line men!” “No they aren’t, look, they are threadbare…didn’t you just buy someone on the line new sheets because you could see through the sheets his wife had hanging on the line?” “Well, yeah.” “Wait, those Teflon pans with scrapes to the metal on them should go to a thrift store!” “Back when I was poor, I wouldn’t have spent a quarter on these, I’m not going to make the thrift store people pay to have them hauled away.” Finally, I learned to not show him what I was disposing of, and he learned to not look in the boxes. I set a goal to clean out a small area once a week. Some of the stuff went to the thrift stores, some went to the rescue center and most went to the trash. FINALLY, today, I was done. Our home was clutter free. Hurray, GO FLATLINED!!! When I opened a bottle of wine to celebrate with him, he went to the key box and handed me the keys to TWO FUCKING STORAGE UNITS full of stuff. I think he will survive, but only because the wine bottle was open when I started beating him with it and splashed all over my face so I couldn’t see which way he was running. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/22 "2015-02-02T04:26:55Z")
He’s got to take out to dinner to celebrate each of the storage units being cleared 😃 Your choice of venue, of course. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/23 "2015-02-02T04:48:12Z")
Maybe we will go out for dinner after he gets out of the hospital. Good gawd, I’m so mad at him that I feel like sleeping with Steve tonight. The problem with all the stuff is that there is good stuff in all the crap. I’d open a box of VHS tapes and think that I could dump them into a new box to take to the trash (because the old box was falling apart), then I’d find his high school yearbooks or such. He’s a smart man, so is hiding in the bedroom. I’m drinking another bottle of wine by myself and the cats are having a catnip party. I don’t think I’ve ever been this mad at him before and I’m living with a clueless engineer. I’m so going to starch his underware before he goes to the field next week. I’m going to go online and order some of that blue stuff that I used to use on my fatigues when I was in the service. He’s going to be so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/24 "2015-02-02T04:48:24Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > When I opened a bottle of wine to celebrate with him, he went to the key box and handed me the keys to TWO FUCKING STORAGE UNITS full of stuff. I think he will survive, but only because the wine bottle was open when I started beating him with it and splashed all over my face so I couldn’t see which way he was running. Oh, fuck that. Put them up for auction. Don’t even bother to look at them. The storage management will refer you! Congrats on clearing out the house clutter ! ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/25 "2015-02-02T05:07:30Z")
My crazy back and healing dislocated shoulder make it IMPOSSIBLE to scratch my shoulder/back and it itches all the time- I assume because I can’t reach it. I’m going to have to buy an actual backscratcher. wtf I always thought those were a gag gift or something but I could really really use one! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/26 "2015-02-02T05:33:28Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Supermarket rants: > > I check out the seedless green grapes in the produce section, and they’re selling them by the pound, but only in bags holding enough grapes for a Mormon-sized family. There is a sign warning shoppers not to break up the clusters to create smaller bags “for the protection of our customers” (who apparently are full of Ebola and other super germs). We are supposed to have a supermarket employee (who is presumably germ-free) separate grapes for us, but there are none in sight. So I go without the grapes which didn’t look so good anyway.\* > > Then on the checkout line I see a shopper at the register waving a fistful of coupons at the confused-looking clerk, so in anticipation of long delays I switch to another line, only to find the person in front of me has a bunch of coupons too, one of which requires the cashier to go on a field trip in search of the free mini-bottle of water that the customer has just got to have _right now_. > > Next time an extreme couponer pulls this shit in front of me, there will be Blood. > > \*I think there was an Aesop’s fable about this exact situation. The Fox and the Missing Produce Clerk. One of my favorites! ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/27 "2015-02-02T05:33:32Z")
12" rulers, knitting needles (use the end with a disc, not the point), or hairbrushes are good back-scratchers. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/28 "2015-02-02T05:34:56Z")
> [@BoBettie](#): > > My crazy back and healing dislocated shoulder make it IMPOSSIBLE to scratch my shoulder/back and it itches all the time- I assume because I can’t reach it. I’m going to have to buy an actual backscratcher. wtf I always thought those were a gag gift or something but I could really really use one! Oh, and buy one of those [long back washing sponges as well](https://www.google.com/search?q=back+washing+sponge&biw=1024&bih=743&tbm=isch&imgil=_xHC3e03uI5pdM%253A%253BaQtwBYE3FGaNXM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.amazon.com%25252FScrubber-Shower-Sponge-Exfoliating-Brush%25252Fdp%25252FB0081TMI6G&source=iu&pf=m&fir=_xHC3e03uI5pdM%253A%252CaQtwBYE3FGaNXM%252C_&usg=__t8thHsWOT7n5dX-_PSGPzZRT3XU%3D&ved=0CFsQyjc&ei=4QzPVL3RN47WoATuv4GIBw#imgdii=_&imgrc=_xHC3e03uI5pdM%253A%3BaQtwBYE3FGaNXM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fecx.images-amazon.com%252Fimages%252FI%252F61%25252BfFGmRbIL._SY355_.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.amazon.com%252FScrubber-Shower-Sponge-Exfoliating-Brush%252Fdp%252FB0081TMI6G%3B355%3B355). You probably itch because you can’t wash your back properly. As long as I was on Amazon, I looked at them for you. Pretty cheap. Here’s a link: [backscratchers.](http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=back+scratchers+bamboo&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=6862450448&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15191748742819069779&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5wdbf8agrz_b) Sorry for your ichy back. Can you rub it against something like bears do? Door sills work for me. I was there looking for the blue liquid starch and found it. HAHA Butthead husband. I’m using this on your [underware](http://www.amazon.com/Sta-Flo-Liquid-Starch-Ounce-Pack/dp/B00A74NC18)! Awk, I shouldn’t be online with 3 glasses of wine in me. I can’t seem to manage hyperlinks, I can’t speel and I can’t sleep with Steve because I don’t think I should try to walk up the stairs. If I survive the wine hangover, I still plan to do evil things to my not-so-beloved butthead. Sea Dragon, while I agree with you that I should just have someone haul all that shit off, there might be important papers there. I found their 6 year old tax returns in a box of moldering paperback books that she had bought from a Friends of the Library sale. I’m really big on shredding stuff that is out of date and past retention, but I also know that personal info can always be harvested…so that shit has to be properly disposed of. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/29 "2015-02-02T07:46:53Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > I have a migraine. ☹ I’m sorry; me too. It’s the incoming winter storm. I also have insomnia so I’m hoping the migraine meds kick in soon and I go to sleep. **aruvqan** – I get Botox for migraines. It helps a LOT. My only remaining triggers are weather – and my neuro says we can’t do much for those but treat them. **BoBettie** — you can also try one of the [lotion applicators](http://www.amazon.com/Kingsley-Lotion-Applicator-Wood-Handle/dp/B0016160MO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1422862934&sr=8-2&keywords=lotion+applicator)! Lets me get lotion right in the middle of my back, where I can’t reach and exactly of course where it itches. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/30 "2015-02-02T11:54:13Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > 12" rulers, knitting needles (use the end with a disc, not the point), or hairbrushes are good back-scratchers. My latest tattoo is on my back, extending to non reachable areas. I’ve been applying lotion with a spatula. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/31 "2015-02-02T13:10:55Z")
OK, **kayaker** , [here](http://www.allegromedical.com//daily-living-aids-c519/lotion-applicator-p193115.html?utm_campaign=Comparison%20Shopping&utm_source=froogle&utm_medium=feed&CS_003=9164468&CS_010=8ab281020bb66dff010bb68028a3772a&gclid=CL_IvKuqw8MCFQiEaQodqQcA5g&kwid=productads-plaid%5E92033990413-sku%5EF741330000@ADL4ALLEGRO-adType%5EPLA-device%5Ec-adid%5E53190000973#F741330000) you [go](http://www.walmart.com/ip/As-Seen-on-TV-Remedy-Roll-a-Lotion-Applicator/23988411). ETA: You too, **BoBettie**. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/32 "2015-02-02T13:27:23Z")
> [@simster](#): > > get the tickets for Arlo - , the Medical Conglomerate can wait a month for $15. It’s $730. I just got out of debt and I’m not going back into it. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/33 "2015-02-02T13:31:36Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > OK, **kayaker** , [here](http://www.allegromedical.com//daily-living-aids-c519/lotion-applicator-p193115.html?utm_campaign=Comparison%20Shopping&utm_source=froogle&utm_medium=feed&CS_003=9164468&CS_010=8ab281020bb66dff010bb68028a3772a&gclid=CL_IvKuqw8MCFQiEaQodqQcA5g&kwid=productads-plaid%5E92033990413-sku%5EF741330000@ADL4ALLEGRO-adType%5EPLA-device%5Ec-adid%5E53190000973#F741330000) you [go](http://www.walmart.com/ip/As-Seen-on-TV-Remedy-Roll-a-Lotion-Applicator/23988411). > > ETA: You too, **BoBettie**. Thanks!! ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/34 "2015-02-02T13:41:22Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > **BoBettie** — you can also try one of the [lotion applicators](http://www.amazon.com/Kingsley-Lotion-Applicator-Wood-Handle/dp/B0016160MO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1422862934&sr=8-2&keywords=lotion+applicator)! Lets me get lotion right in the middle of my back, where I can’t reach and exactly of course where it itches. They make those things now? Whoever invented that needs to be canonized! ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/35 "2015-02-02T15:35:05Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > When I opened a bottle of wine to celebrate with him, he went to the key box and handed me the keys to TWO FUCKING STORAGE UNITS full of stuff. I think he will survive, but only because the wine bottle was open when I started beating him with it and splashed all over my face so I couldn’t see which way he was running. I laughed like an idiot. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. A similar situation happened when TheElf and I moved; he had boxes and boxes of stuff from his late wife. I told him to just throw them out since he had no idea what was in them, but he insisted on going through each one. At lead I didn’t have to do it! ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/36 "2015-02-02T16:17:12Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > It’s $730. I just got out of debt and I’m not going back into it. Technically - if you are getting a bill - you’re already _in_ debt - how long you stay is the question. ALl I am suggesting is that $15 should be easy to recover within a couple of weeks - and delay the payment to the Medical folks thta long - they won’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/37 "2015-02-02T17:20:31Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Technically - if you are getting a bill - you’re already _in_ debt - how long you stay is the question. > > ALl I am suggesting is that $15 should be easy to recover within a couple of weeks - and delay the payment to the Medical folks thta long - they won’t care. I’ve spent too many years paying off medical bills piecemeal. All it does is add unneeded stress to my life. I choose to do the fiscally responsible thing and deal with the bill before I go play. How you handle your finances is up to you. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/38 "2015-02-02T17:48:13Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > This is extremely minor: I was going to buy Arlo Guthrie tickets this weekend. They’re around $50. Yesterday I got a $730 bill from the Medical Conglomerate for the physical therapy I had in December. > > At least I’ll be able to afford the $35 Weird Al tickets for his show in July. But I’ve already seen Weird Al and I’ve never seen Arlo and how many more tours is he going to do? ☹ > [@EmilyG](#): > > Yeah, tickets for well-known artists in any music genre tend to be expensive. ☹ Just paid $67 to see Bob Seger next month. And those were the cheapest tickets! ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/39 "2015-02-02T17:49:46Z")
I’m getting older and, dammit, my digestive system just can’t handle the garbage it used to. My husband was out of town this weekend, so I indulged in some nachos and I feel like I am going to die. Stomach cramps, backache and lots of time spent in the bathroom do not a happy homecoming make. I hope this goes away by tonight. Oh, and then there’s work. I wish they would just decide who they’re going to fire and fucking do it so we can either get out or rebuild teams. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492/40 "2015-02-02T17:52:08Z")
Declined invites to go to four different Superbowl parties because I work at a neighborhood food pantry every weekend(as I have for most weekends over the last six years). Saturday, I worked directly with the new head of the pantry, and we seemed to get along o.k., but when I arrived there Sunday, her new trainees, _who happened to be her foster children_, told me that she was gone for the day but that my services were no longer required. Her kids, who didn’t even know how to enter the client’s names into the database yet, had been promoted over me and told to let me go. I also found out that that was the last day the pantry(the only one on the area) would be open on Sundays and that she was looking to cut hours back on the other days. Fuck. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-makes-us-shiver-with-each-new-rant-it-delivers/711492.md?page=3)