# February Mini-Rants. Look on the bright side - it's the shortest month of the year **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2022, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742 "2022-02-01T12:58:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2022, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/161 "2022-02-26T15:00:31Z")
Dueling sets of chainsaws going at it on an old oak tree 😠 all morning long. The daddyfuckers dropped the tree on the ice as it once stood on the shore for a hundred years or more. Dick faces next door made a huge mess and the chainsaws are upsetting the cats who horked up their morning feed in distress. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2022, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/162 "2022-02-26T19:53:15Z")
TIL that Massachusetts has apparently banned the sale of non-cage-free eggs. Boo. I’m sorry, I don’t like eggs (or chickens, for that matter) enough to pay $4.79 for a dozen eggs. Off to google ‘egg substitutes for baking.’ ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2022, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/163 "2022-02-26T19:59:33Z")
My mom once wrote a letter to the food editor of the _Charlotte Observer_ about egg-free desserts because my dad was allergic to eggs. The response was an entire spread about egg-free recipes. One thing I remember from that is one tablespoon of oil + 2 tablespoons of milk will make an adequate egg substitute for most purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2022, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/164 "2022-02-26T20:26:27Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > That’s the thing. These were actually Walmart eggs. Actually, now that’s totally believable. I’m re-watching Zombieland right now… so I’m wondering if this egg-scene idea would make a funny scene in some zombie movie. \< crack \> \< sizzle \> “Screeeeee…!” ( It’d probably scare the sh-t out of the audience before half of them roll with laughter! ) ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2022, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/165 "2022-02-26T20:35:37Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > One thing I remember from that is one tablespoon of oil + 2 tablespoons of milk will make an adequate egg substitute for most purposes. That seems too simple to be true! I’ll definitely try it though. Just not in any recipe that calls for beating the egg whites separately. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2022, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/166 "2022-02-26T22:48:31Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > One thing I remember from that is one tablespoon of oil + 2 tablespoons of milk will make an adequate egg substitute for most purposes. Unless the purpose is to solidify/coagulate something that doesn’t contain flour or another thickener (custard/flan). Or that depends on the addition of egg for rising, such as popovers, Dutch babies, souffles. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2022, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/167 "2022-02-27T00:11:48Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > That seems too simple to be true! I’ll definitely try it though. Just not in any recipe that calls for beating the egg whites separately. > [@needscoffee](#): > > Unless the purpose is to solidify/coagulate something that doesn’t contain flour or another thickener (custard/flan). Or that depends on the addition of egg for rising, such as popovers, Dutch babies, souffles. Hence the qualifier. It worked fine for cookies. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2022, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/168 "2022-02-27T02:27:31Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Walmart eggs. Which can’t be as mediocre as WalMart DoNuts. I was an ‘honored guest’ at a far-off high school last week (as a coach for a college bowl type competition). They went all out on a ‘breakfast buffet’ for us: 6 oz plastic bottles of apple juice, a bunch of grapes, and a dozen donuts, all from WalMart. I must be spoiled by real doughnuts (the ones we were served do not deserve a _u-g-h),_ because I just can’t stomach the waxy/oily coating that these left on the roof of my mouth. Later we got to eat with the students at the school cafeteria… **Kids, drop out NOW**! Get your GED and go to college, even a tech school, ASAP. They serve Actually Edible Food at colleges. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2022, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/169 "2022-02-27T14:49:06Z")
In addition to the continuing suicidal parade of mice into the basement, we now have the return of giant flocks of twittering, squawking birds all over the property, making noise as soon as dawn approaches. Soon I will have to bird-tanglefoot the porch to keep barn swallows from nesting there and dive-bombing us to “protect” their young. It’s getting increasingly Hitchcockian around here. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2022, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/170 "2022-02-27T17:50:04Z")
[quote=“WolfpackJeep, post:144, topic:958742”] Good to know! I’ve narrowed it down to two (a Le Creuset dutch oven or a DeWalt miter saw), and they’re both under $400. [/quote]That’s a nice gift! We get a small bonus every year, which is nice, but it’s fun to be able to shop for something nice. I usually end up doing something practical with my longevity money. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2022, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/171 "2022-02-27T18:12:00Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Soon I will have to bird-tanglefoot the porch to keep barn swallows from nesting there and dive-bombing us to “protect” their young. The tree by the street in front of my house is a popular meeting and squawking place for birds. The sun rises in the distance between the gap between two houses across the street, so they have a grand old time sunning themselves. The noise can be a din at times, but that’s not the problem. Somewhere w/i two blocks of here some filthy swine has a bush or a tree with red berries that have small pits in them. These birds just love to eat their fill, fly over to the tree in front of my house, bask in the sun, and shit like some homeless guy at a subway station. That digested red acid-juice destroys any car finish… and I swear those little pits help them aim! \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< Pt-ewww! \> [bird] "Three degrees over, five degrees down. Fire for Effect! [/bird] \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< Pt-ewww! \> Oh, those miserable little shits… ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2022, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/172 "2022-02-27T19:57:41Z")
> [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](#): > > Somewhere w/i two blocks of here some filthy swine has a bush or a tree with red berries that have small pits in them. These birds just love to eat their fill, fly over to the tree in front of my house, bask in the sun, and shit like some homeless guy at a subway station. That digested red acid-juice destroys any car finish… and I swear those little pits help them aim! > > \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< Pt-ewww! \> > > [bird] "Three degrees over, five degrees down. Fire for Effect! [/bird] > > \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< tweet \> \< Pt-ewww! \> > > Oh, those miserable little shits… No doubt! Whether it’s the siding on my house, or on my car, I’m fully convinced they employ some sort of computing “bomb sight” that takes parameters like their forward speed, distance from anus to target, wind drift, and mass into consideration for computation for the drop. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2022, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/173 "2022-02-27T21:10:23Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > we now have the return of giant flocks of twittering, squawking birds all over the property, making noise as soon as dawn approaches. A sign of spring, it brings joy to my heart. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2022, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/174 "2022-02-28T01:44:32Z")
nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2022, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/175 "2022-03-01T05:09:27Z")
What, you don’t like [balut](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_(food))? (did not spoiler, but don’t click on the link if you get queasy easily) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2022, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/176 "2022-03-01T06:33:00Z")
I’ve started a new month’s worth of whining, moping, and fuckshitgoddamniting. > [@The rants go Marching one by one (Monthly Mini-Rants)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-go-marching-one-by-one-monthly-mini-rants/960268): > > Continuing the discussion from [February Mini-Rants. Look on the bright side - it's the shortest month of the year](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742): The world might be on the brink of war, with the threat of nuclear weapons. The pandemic is still in effect; though winding down I wonder if we’ll see yet another surge and/or more dangerous variant as we ease off of restrictions. Inflation is rampant, and the LA Rams are the NFL champions. March Madness indeed! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2022, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/177 "2022-03-01T19:52:06Z")
None for me, thanks. This egg hadn’t even made it to that stage. Just the yolk converted to blood and leaking into the white. Not really bad to look at, but just the smell of decaying blood knocked me back. re: balut. How hungry did someone have to be to think eating that was reasonable? ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2022, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/178 "2022-03-01T21:32:05Z")
perhaps there was a bet involved… ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2022, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/179 "2022-03-01T23:26:21Z")
I’m not sure there is enough money at stake to make me eat balut. Nor is there enough alcohol… ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2022, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742/180 "2022-03-01T23:35:29Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > re: balut. How hungry did someone have to be to think eating that was reasonable? Q: How was it cooked…? . \< Picturing Kirk roasting Chekov’s ear bug \> [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/february-mini-rants-look-on-the-bright-side-its-the-shortest-month-of-the-year/958742.md?page=10)