# February's Festering Fulminations (minirants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2016, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757 "2016-01-31T16:59:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Caractacus\_Pott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@Caractacus\_Pott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caractacus_Pott)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/201 "2016-02-29T05:54:00Z")
**flatlined** , imagine The Smoking Gun’s headline: \*Crazy woman assaults dogwalker with airborne poo. Surprise, not in Florida! \* Will the Teeming Masses could think up much more clever headlines than I? Yes. I await in anticipation. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/202 "2016-02-29T13:06:20Z")
A guy I know saw a dog, on a leash, shitting on his lawn. He walked out onto his porch and told the man he was going to clean it up. Turns out the guy didn’t have any bags, no paper or tissue, no nothing. The man said he’d come back and pick it up in a bit. Guy said that was unacceptable, he was taking his dog’s shit with him. The man asked for a bag or some paper towel. “No.” There were no threats, no raised voices, just a nasty glare. The dude eventually scooped the poop into his hand and walked off. If you ever saw this guy, you’d understand. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/203 "2016-02-29T15:06:14Z")
> [@Caractacus\_Pott](#): > > **flatlined** , imagine The Smoking Gun’s headline: \*Crazy woman assaults dogwalker with airborne poo. Surprise, not in Florida! \* Will the Teeming Masses could think up much more clever headlines than I? Yes. I await in anticipation. _Crazy Woman Slips Tether, Flings Poo in Texas_ ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/204 "2016-02-29T20:23:42Z")
_The Texas Dog Crap Scrap_ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/205 "2016-02-29T22:42:36Z")
Texas Turd Tossing Terror tries town’s tranquility. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/206 "2016-02-29T22:47:11Z")
I’ve been saying for a while now that if it’s not WTF Florida, it’s usually WTF Texas instead! ---
**Author:** ![Caractacus\_Pott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@Caractacus\_Pott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caractacus_Pott)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2016, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/207 "2016-03-01T02:47:42Z")
I knew you wouldn’t let me down! ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2016, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/208 "2016-03-01T03:05:48Z")
You guys are cracking me up! I used to think that folks in Arizona were crazy…then I moved to Texas. Dayam, this has been an eye opening experience. Folks in Arizona are cool-headed and rational compaired to some of the shit I’ve seen here. (Except when it snows, then all bets are off.) I probably didn’t really need to call the police, but I was worried that she would follow us and maybe start shooting or something. From what Officer Friendly told me, this isn’t the first time the woman has pulled something like this. For the record, I’m certain that neither of our ladies pooped anywhere near her yard. I would have noticed one of them stopping to squat. I also would have cleaned it up, dog owners who don’t clean up after their dogs give all of us a bad name. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2016, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/209 "2016-03-01T07:36:59Z")
Doesn’t surprise me at all that Madam Poo Flinger is known to police! > [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Some friends of mine bought an old farmhouse in rural Virginia, and while restoring it, they found that under the turquoise paint on the kitchen cabinets was beautiful wood. Instead of painting, as they had planned, they just varnished to leave the grain showing. > [@flatlined](#): > > My favorite chair ever was bought from a thrift store. It was painted rattle can green, which was probably why I was able to buy a lovely carved wooden dragon chair for $2. I’ve probably mentioned this on the board before, but my mother inherited a huge, handmade cabinet from “the old home place” on her father’s side of the family. Thing had been sitting on the back porch for decades, and had acquired numerous layers of ugly blue/green paint, along with several layers of newspaper on the inside. My dad managed to strip everything off of it using some horrifically toxic chemical that has since been banned…the wood underneath was (and still is) beautiful. It’s currently being used as a china hutch. > [@Projammer](#): > > They won’t be the first to the wall come the revolution, but they will be in line. 😃 > [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](#): > > My neighbor “restores” furniture. Meaning she cruises thrift stores and estate sales buying furniture (sometimes very nice hardwood furniture with carvings and inlays) which she coats with flat Wal-Mart rattle can paint and lists on craigslist. Did I mention that paint in question was black and white? And that chalk paint is apparently designed to look “distressed” (or applied half-assed)? :smack: At least the furniture is very plain, with no intricate details or crevices; maybe it will only cost a few weekends for someone to remove the mess in the distant future. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/210 "2016-03-15T23:34:29Z")
What?? No one’s posted here in 15 days??? I don’t have a rant, either. Was looking for the thread, though, and realized it’s been dormant. I’ve recently gotten into target shooting with a friend, and now my YouTube subscription feed is filled with makeup tutorials and pistol training. I think it’s funny and enjoy the juxtaposition. Illinois primaries were today, voting turnout sounds like they’re predicting was low. Dumbasses. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/211 "2016-03-15T23:37:25Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > What?? No one’s posted here in 15 days??? > > I don’t have a rant, either. Was looking for the thread, though, and realized it’s been dormant. You do comprehend the concept of “February,” right? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757/212 "2016-03-16T00:11:41Z")
Wait, what? Oh, shite! Derp Derp Derp ::Whistles softly and backs out of the room, looking back at everyone like it’s them who’re crazy:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februarys-festering-fulminations-minirants/744757.md?page=10)