# Februbitchy Rantuary - February's Mini-Rants Thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429 "2012-02-01T16:11:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/301 "2012-02-20T23:33:08Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Valentino, my late lamented Siamese, would swear in a very Old English Gentleman type of way - “I say, old girl, is it really necessary that you let the level of the kibble in the yellow food bowl get down to such unaccepable levels? I do believe I can see, yes actually see, glimmers of yellow through the pieces of kibble in the bottom of the bowl. I have carefully placed the hair band required as renumeration for my daily victual, I assure you I have placed it in the bowl as per our contract, and yet I would be remiss if I did not note the fact that there are bits of yellow visible…” > > Sugar Magnolia, the former feral - while sitting and looking adorable - (in a very soft voice): “Mom?” > > LtCmdr Dax, a resuce at about 2 days of total unknown origin, just sits and looks beautiful. So do Cricket, another feral kitten rescue, Yogi, a former clinic cat and Mr. Spock, who came from the Humane Society. > > Magik, the $1200 purebred Cornish Rex rescue, cusses like a drunken Marine on shore leave in several different languages. Some of which I am very glad I don’t understand. He does it at such a high volume I have been accused of abusing him while talking on the phone (What are you _doing_ to that cat) and he is audible on my voicemail message. He doesn’t even appear to breathe while on one of his rants. > > He ended up with me because the mother of his original owner (he was a birthday gift for a 10 year old girl) decided he talked too much and threw him outside. The giver of cat repossessed him - he has no undercoat and can’t live outside in the winter, even in Georgia - and gave him to me. Little did I know what “talks too much” really meant. In my innocence, I thought “I have a Siamese, how bad can it be?” > > A Cornish Rex makes a Siamese seem quiet! You must post kitty pics. My Maine Coon mews like a baby when upset. It’s so cute I’m almost tempted to upset her on purpose. She also does the standard Maine Coon pert chirp thing. I need to smack myself for taking my time to confirm a facebook friend request. Granted the person was a pain in the rear and I disliked her quite a bit in high school. But I’m trying not to be petty. Still it is rather fun stringing her along. I think I’ll wait a week and then say yes. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/302 "2012-02-20T23:40:38Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Valentino, my late lamented Siamese, would swear in a very Old English Gentleman type of way - “I say, old girl, is it really necessary that you let the level of the kibble in the yellow food bowl get down to such unaccepable levels? I do believe I can see, yes actually see, glimmers of yellow through the pieces of kibble in the bottom of the bowl. I have carefully placed the hair band required as renumeration for my daily victual, I assure you I have placed it in the bowl as per our contract, and yet I would be remiss if I did not note the fact that there are bits of yellow visible…” Cracks up irl. Our new cat only talks to me. He follows me around and tells me that conditions are totally unacceptable, but when Bill is up and about, the only noise is loud purrs. Once I leave the room, kitty is at my feet and complaining about everything. Today I went to the grocery store and when I wasn’t happy with the produce, I got back into the truck and drove to another store without thinking about it. I’m getting used to driving in Houston. I’m going to kill people and/or myself when I go home. Help me, god! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/303 "2012-02-21T00:47:24Z")
I just had the most bizarre and horrible job interview of my life. The interviewer/boss was so obnoxious, so narcissistic and so talkative that I don’t think I got three sentences in the entire 3.5 hours. He swore openly, called other people bastards and pricks, and left me scared and confused. Actual conversation: ‘‘Do you get migraines?’’ ‘‘Um, no.’’ ‘‘I’ll give you migraines.’’ ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/304 "2012-02-21T01:01:41Z")
So I can’t get a signal with my simple phone I’ve been happy with for 7 years. About the last thing on my list of possbilities, after an unannounced change in coverage, bureaucratic screwup at Virgin Mobile, and forced obsolescence of older models, is that my antenna might be broken. But the guy on the phone said that I might have to buy a new phone because my antenna might be broken. Because “each phone has an _expiration_”. Part of me says that he just misspoke and he really mean expected lifetime of use. But I’m afraid that he was being a little _too_ honest and they really do stop supporting them unexpectedly after 7 years! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/305 "2012-02-21T01:11:52Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Actual conversation: > ‘‘Do you get migraines?’’ > ‘‘Um, no.’’ > ‘‘I’ll give you migraines.’’ “You’re really not looking to hire someone, are you.” ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/306 "2012-02-21T01:12:38Z")
Dear Whiny-Ass Drama-Laden Ex-Friend. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You don’t get to say the things to me or about me that you said, and get a fucking pass on it. You don’t get to accuse me of horrible things, of being a terrible, no-good, very-bad person, and then today admit publicly that I was right, and then get to be all high-minded and holier-than-thou. Fuck. You. I hope this latest incident reveals once and for all that you are a severely dysfunctional, history-rewriting, drama-stirring, soul-sucking vampire who creates chaos in all your personal relationships and then can’t figure out why. Get. Bent. Love and kisses, Kolga ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/307 "2012-02-21T01:57:45Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > \ > > Anyway, it’s his move now. I have every confidence that he will come up with a new trick. No doubt in my mind. They can get awfully single-minded with those tiny little walnut-brains. > [@SpazCat](#): > > Dude, why the hell are you _sauntering across the interstate_? Do you not see the many cars coming at high speed? I’m so glad you decided to hop onto the median just as I went by. Being responsible for your death is not how I wanted to spend my day. The major highway going from Calgary to the mountain resorts has a sign on it in one place that says - “Watch for pedestrians on highway.” At interstate speeds, how about THEY watch out for traffic? Anyone trying to stop for someone loitering on the highway is likely to cause a traffic pile-up and multiple deaths. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I just had the most bizarre and horrible job interview of my life. The interviewer/boss was so obnoxious, so narcissistic and so talkative that I don’t think I got three sentences in the entire 3.5 hours. He swore openly, called other people bastards and pricks, and left me scared and confused. > > Actual conversation: > ‘‘Do you get migraines?’’ > ‘‘Um, no.’’ > ‘‘I’ll give you migraines.’’ I think the proper response to this is, “No, you won’t,” and walk out. Sorry you had such a bad one. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/308 "2012-02-21T03:48:26Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I just had the most bizarre and horrible job interview of my life. The interviewer/boss was so obnoxious, so narcissistic and so talkative that I don’t think I got three sentences in the entire 3.5 hours. He swore openly, called other people bastards and pricks, and left me scared and confused. > > Actual conversation: > ‘‘Do you get migraines?’’ > ‘‘Um, no.’’ > ‘‘I’ll give you migraines.’’ That reminds me of the asshole who called me in for an interview in 90 degree August heat. Seven bucks in round trip travel fees, two pairs of itchy nylons and five applications of lipstick later he told me he they’d already hired but were just looking to see what was out there. Some people should not be let out of their cages. You probably ducked a bullet by finding one of them. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/309 "2012-02-21T04:04:14Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I just had the most bizarre and horrible job interview of my life. The interviewer/boss was so obnoxious, so narcissistic and so talkative that I don’t think I got three sentences in the entire 3.5 hours. He swore openly, called other people bastards and pricks, and left me scared and confused. > > Actual conversation: > ‘‘Do you get migraines?’’ > ‘‘Um, no.’’ > ‘‘I’ll give you migraines.’’ His name wasn’t Kevin, was it? Well, even if I never worked with him, he’s still a psycho. Hope you somehow warned everyone else that applied… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/310 "2012-02-21T07:34:17Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > I weep for the future when graduate students in a physics department fail to realize that if you have 10 things in a cubic centimeter, there are, logically, going to be a hell of a lot more than 10 of those things in a cubic meter. That would depend on whether the density stays constant… _ducks_ **olives** , that was not a job interview, it was a warning. Congratulations on avoiding a Boss From Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/311 "2012-02-21T11:24:28Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The major highway going from Calgary to the mountain resorts has a sign on it in one place that says - “Watch for pedestrians on highway.” At interstate speeds, how about THEY watch out for traffic? Anyone trying to stop for someone loitering on the highway is likely to cause a traffic pile-up and multiple deaths. One of the interstate loop on-ramps from downtown (near where Saunterer was doin’ his thing) has a sign telling people there are no pedestrians, skateboards, or bicycles allowed on the interstate. It’s there for a reason. The bridge near that ramp is notorious for the amount of deaths. One of my bosses was four cars behind the one that hit someone running across that bridge last year. There’s a pedestrian walkway over the interstate, but it has a checkered history. It goes to one of our fine ghetto fabulous drug-infested apartment complexes and people were getting mugged in the walkway. So the city shut it down. Then that guy got hit last year. So the city reopened it. But no one trusts that they still won’t get mugged, so they still run across the interstate. :rolleyes::smack: ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/312 "2012-02-21T13:18:26Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Valentino, my late lamented Siamese, would swear in a very Old English Gentleman type of way - “I say, old girl, is it really necessary that you let the level of the kibble in the yellow food bowl get down to such unaccepable levels? I do believe I can see, yes actually see, glimmers of yellow through the pieces of kibble in the bottom of the bowl. I have carefully placed the hair band required as renumeration for my daily victual, I assure you I have placed it in the bowl as per our contract, and yet I would be remiss if I did not note the fact that there are bits of yellow visible…” Hilarious! My cat puts scrunchies in the food dish too. Why do they do that? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/313 "2012-02-21T13:22:19Z")
> [@digs](#): > > His name wasn’t Kevin, was it? > > Well, even if I never worked with him, he’s still a psycho. Hope you somehow warned everyone else that applied… Not Kevin. I wish I could warn people. But I think the interview would be warning enough. ‘‘I really want to get Naomi Campbell to support our cause. Why Naomi Campbell?’’ ‘‘Um…’’ ‘’‘Because she’s smokin’ hot, am I right? Seriously, though…‘’ ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/314 "2012-02-21T13:38:58Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > That would depend on whether the density stays constant… > > _ducks_ 😛 Smartass! We were assuming constant density. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/315 "2012-02-21T14:39:00Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Actual conversation: > ‘‘Do you get migraines?’’ > ‘‘Um, no.’’ > ‘‘I’ll give you migraines.’’ “I’ll give 'em back.” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/316 "2012-02-21T14:43:08Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > 😛 Smartass! We were assuming constant density. 😉 Hey, I was actually feeling pretty proud of myself for being able to translate “not if the ten objects are toys and you’ve just made the room bigger” into “constant density”. Either I’m spending too much time with The Nephews or it’s been too long since the last time I did a Physics problem. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/317 "2012-02-21T15:21:09Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Not Kevin. I wish I could warn people. But I think the interview would be warning enough. > > ‘‘I really want to get Naomi Campbell to support our cause. Why Naomi Campbell?’’ > ‘‘Um…’’ > ‘’‘Because she’s smokin’ hot, am I right? Seriously, though…‘’ I had a weird interview (but not in the same league with yours… seriously, post as much as you can remember of it!). After a week of cogitating, I met with one of the Interviewer’s fellow VPs, and told her about the interview, word-for-word. She met with the CEO about it, though I never heard about the outcome. There was nothing creepy about the interview, just strange “non-sequiter job responsibilities”\* that would’ve made it a different job than what they’d posted, or what I’d applied for. \*honestly, dude, you’re interviewing an Art Director… why would you go on a long diatribe about how none of your branch managers listen to you, and how said Art Director would be “your go-to guy” for keeping them in line? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/318 "2012-02-21T16:05:06Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I just had the most bizarre and horrible job interview of my life. The interviewer/boss was so obnoxious, so narcissistic and so talkative that I don’t think I got three sentences in the entire 3.5 hours. He swore openly, called other people bastards and pricks, and left me scared and confused. > > Actual conversation: > ‘‘Do you get migraines?’’ > ‘‘Um, no.’’ > ‘‘I’ll give you migraines.’’ I haz a sad that you didn’t take the job and perk up the [workplace rants thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=585296), now that Shredder Guy is riding towards the sunset and the Tale of the Rat King seems to be tapering to a close … … and also that you don’t have a discretely and easily accessible “record” function on your cell phone. That shit sounds like gold! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/319 "2012-02-21T17:02:43Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Hey, I was actually feeling pretty proud of myself for being able to translate “not if the ten objects are toys and you’ve just made the room bigger” into “constant density”. Either I’m spending too much time with The Nephews or it’s been too long since the last time I did a Physics problem. Its obviously the former! (If you’re converting to toys… 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/320 "2012-02-21T19:08:33Z")
I’m super cranky, lots of little things piling upon each other. I know I am going to blow my top at some point today, it’s just a matter of what will set me off. I hate feeling like this, I’ve tried to calm myself down, just as I feel relaxed something irks the crap out of me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429.md?page=17)