# Februbitchy Rantuary - February's Mini-Rants Thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429 "2012-02-01T16:11:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/21 "2012-02-02T01:21:17Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Very mini rant of the day: > > I have one of those massive, subterranian zits on my chin. It’s too deep to pop, and it hurts like hell. I’m 30-something years old, I shouldn’t still be dealing with zits!! Oh dear God, you reminded me of what I saw on “Tosh.0” yesterday - some woman lancing a boil on a guy’s back that had about two cups of thick, curdy pus in it that she squeezed out. Beee-yarf. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/22 "2012-02-02T04:13:06Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Oh, that’s sweet, dear, but I am not barging in on total strangers–it’s not so much the hotel rates, it’s that two friends never thought to say “come stay with me!” or even offer half-assed excuses. I’m not that convenient to D.C., but you’re most welcome if you change your mind. ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/23 "2012-02-02T04:36:13Z")
Fuck. My big strong 4th grader was just curled up in bed sobbing about some kid who has been picking on him at school. (Bastard.) I am going to have to make some phone calls tomorrow. I hate the phone. I especially hate being anything even remotely resembling confrontational on the phone. I most especially hate the fact that someone has been being mean to my baby. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/24 "2012-02-02T04:47:51Z")
I’m driving in Houston. Why the heck are driver’s licenses reciprocal? If my DL didn’t work in Texas, I wouldn’t have to give myself pep talks before I leave the driveway. Someone else would be driving! Now, I do have to say that I think that Houston drivers are very skilled. Someone can go zooming up on the left on a 6 lane freeway that has bumper to bumper traffic and is going warp speed, then suddenly cut across to take the offramp in less than 1/10th of a mile. Traffic doesn’t even slow down and people wave at the driver. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/25 "2012-02-02T12:49:41Z")
Since I started working primarily from home, I have rarely been ill. A sniffle here, cough there, nothing major. I have been in office twice this week, for less than two hours each time. I woke up this morning, my head aches, my throat is on fire, I am a ball of phlegm. I haven’t felt this miserable in a long time. I blame work. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/26 "2012-02-02T14:19:50Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Traffic doesn’t even slow down and people wave at the driver. Around here the wave would be useing the middle finger. And they think that useing the directional is giving information to the enemy. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/27 "2012-02-02T15:26:27Z")
After shamelessly lurking through two of the recent ‘Starving Artist defends child rape’ threads, I was introduced to a kitten link. Following that link, I then clicked on a video of a [kitten playing with a dog](http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/12/05/funny-pictures-videos-cat-boops-dog/?fromVidWidget). I scrolled down to the comments. - ‘Das jus teh stawrt ob teh bat-bat-bat-bat seereez wehn dis lil Keow kums bayk tew sae moar haiyaz tew teh goggie’ - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? What is going on here? I…I don’t think I can handle this.\*\* I want to hurt someone.\*\* Is this how the zombie apocalypse will start? I’ll start biting people who type like this and then…goodbye world? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/28 "2012-02-02T15:29:47Z")
**Lady of the Lake** : That’s “LOLspeak” (-speek?), which developed into its current form on that site - I Can Has Cheezburger - and its related cute critters sites. I highly recommend avoiding the comments sections if you want to avoid that again. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/29 "2012-02-02T15:47:32Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > **Lady of the Lake** : That’s “LOLspeak” (-speek?), which developed into its current form on that site - I Can Has Cheezburger - and its related cute critters sites. I highly recommend avoiding the comments sections if you want to avoid that again. I’ve been there before but have never scrolled down past the cat pictures, it never occurred to me! But…it’s so…stupid. Why are people who can type legibly pretending they can’t? Maybe I’m just out of it, time to get with the new times. I’ll be back later, I’m going to learn this lolspeak. I’m thinking paint thinner or booze is involved in the process somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/30 "2012-02-02T15:52:52Z")
> [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](#): > > I’ve been there before but have never scrolled down past the cat pictures, it never occurred to me! But…it’s so…stupid. Why are people who can type legibly pretending they can’t? It’s supposed to be as if it were written by the cats & dogs. Yeah, it’s stupid. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/31 "2012-02-02T16:09:53Z")
‘Das jus teh stawrt ob teh bat-bat-bat-bat seereez wehn dis lil Keow kums bayk tew sae moar haiyaz tew teh goggie’ equals That’s just the start of the bat-bat-bat series when this little (???) comes back to say hello again (“more hi’s”) to the doggie. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/32 "2012-02-02T16:37:07Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > Since I started working primarily from home, I have rarely been ill. A sniffle here, cough there, nothing major. > > I have been in office twice this week, for less than two hours each time. > > I woke up this morning, my head aches, my throat is on fire, I am a ball of phlegm. I haven’t felt this miserable in a long time. > > I blame work. I have a theory that every group has their own bunch of bugs that they’re immune to; when you join their group, you have to acquire the immunity, too. That’s why you get sick at a new job, and why everyone gets sick at Christmas. > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > **Lady of the Lake** : That’s “LOLspeak” (-speek?), which developed into its current form on that site - I Can Has Cheezburger - and its related cute critters sites. I highly recommend avoiding the comments sections if you want to avoid that again. I love Cheezburger, but I hate the friggin’ lolcat speak in the comments. It enrages me. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/33 "2012-02-02T17:04:03Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I have a theory that every group has their own bunch of bugs that they’re immune to; when you join their group, you have to acquire the immunity, too. That’s why you get sick at a new job, and why everyone gets sick at Christmas. And why kindergarten bugs are like local versions of the Black Plague. When all those kids start kindergarten, the bug-pools of all their families come together; the bugs fight for preeminence by checking out which one can make most people sick, and worse, without actually killing them. The winners form the new kindergarten-families-bug-pool… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/34 "2012-02-02T17:13:58Z")
Kindergarten Bug-Pool Death Match! Jeeze, that sounds like a reality show I’d watch. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/35 "2012-02-02T18:09:11Z")
Well, I’m doing my part. I had to come in again and have been coughing and sneezing. The meeting was great - I was in the corner all by my lonesome 🙂 When I was in every other day, my problem was sinus infections. Stay at home all but a day out of ten? They all but went away. However, the increase in actual virus illness has increased. Whee. _cough_ ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/36 "2012-02-02T18:21:34Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > ‘Das jus teh stawrt ob teh bat-bat-bat-bat seereez wehn dis lil Keow kums bayk tew sae moar haiyaz tew teh goggie’ > > equals > > That’s just the start of the bat-bat-bat series when this little (???) comes back to say hello again (“more hi’s”) to the doggie. Arr. So stupid. Why make it more complicated and more work just to read something idiotic? New thought, maybe they \*know \* everything they say is idiotic, and they are trying to protect the rest of us? > [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > **It’s supposed to be as if it were written by the cats & dogs.** > > Yeah, it’s stupid. This makes me want to hurt them more. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/37 "2012-02-02T18:26:53Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Update on my Off Her Rocker student who filed a complaint against me because I corrected her when she was wrong: > > I had to have a meeting with the Dean to defend myself against the heinous accusation of actually teaching! And although the Dean admitted the complaint was bogus, my requests to have obviously-ridiculous complaints dismissed was met with a stone wall of “procedure requires that we investigate all complaints. Otherwise, students are denied their due process.” > > I got to see the complaint. The student said that my feedback (correcting her when she was wrong) was bullying her. BULLYING. HER. > > Christ. What are the odds that precious snowflower’s helicopter parent(s) will show up for a tag-team event? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/38 "2012-02-02T18:43:47Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Very mini rant of the day: > > I have one of those massive, subterranian zits on my chin. It’s too deep to pop, and it hurts like hell. I’m 30-something years old, I shouldn’t still be dealing with zits!! My fiance has a job interview tomorrow, so OF COURSE all week his face has been a 14 year old boy’s prom night nightmare. Poor guy generally does have some weird sort of skin problem, but it has its ups and downs - it’s up right now and he’s a wreck about it. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/39 "2012-02-02T19:04:24Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > What are the odds that precious snowflower’s helicopter parent(s) will show up for a tag-team event? I truly hope not, since the student is 40. That means helicopter parent(s) would be in his/her 60s, and I was taught to respect my elders. I’d find it difficult to tell them to get the fuck out of my office if they did show up! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/40 "2012-02-02T19:12:36Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > It’s supposed to be as if it were written by the cats & dogs. > > Yeah, it’s stupid. Cats don’t write like that. This is how cats write: > [@](#): > > DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. > > DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed. > > DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan. > > DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. > > DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. > > DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429.md?page=3)