Federal Flagpole: Secret Stash

That number would apparently be no greater than “six”.

Not if they’re lined up just right.

Here is a fun discussion dismissing these myths about the flag pole/truck/ball.

None of that is right. It contains matches and directions for burning the flag if it’s about to be captured by the enemy.

Snopes has a little to say about related myths.

So you’re the last man/woman/cadet left defending America.

The “tangos” are coming over the hill.

You retrieve these secret weapons and supplies 30-50 feet off the ground by…?

And what if they want to Salsa instead?

Which is also why all American flags are secretly made from guncotton. Because matches aren’t reliably going to ignite a huge flag made of polymer fiber or untreated cotton on the best of days, let alone in the wind or rain.

From that link:

That is just…sad.

That should be “sea stories,” of course. :smack:

Sea stories may be tall tales, but they can be distinguished from urban legends or fairy tales by the following rule of thumb:

Fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time…”
Sea stories begin with “OK, this is a no sh*tter…” :wink:

The FACTS from a flag pole company…

And then there’s “I read this on FB/Pinterest/Snapchat/Twitter, and…”

This is obviously disinformation to keep the Commie hordes from being tipped off to the existence of our secret flagpole caches.

Well, that is indeed a sound and logical explanation. I’m convinced. :smiley:

Deadpool is not a documentary.

I like to begin. “This is a true story. …”

At the end I may acknowledge, “Well, it truly is a story.”

But then I am largely a landlubber and occasional freshwater sailor.

Two points to address some of the practical concerns of getting at the supply stash hidden in the ball at the top of the flagpole:

First, you don’t get to the top of the flag pole, you get it down to you. It’s a Captain America test of ingenuity to see if you’re smart enough to be allowed access to the ball.

Second, the ball only opens for those who are worthy. It’s a sort of Thor thing.

That said, the only thing I’ve ever known to be concealed inside of flagpoles is radio verticals (cite: I saw it advertised on a ham radio supply store website the other day as a means of erecting a radio antenna without annoying the neighbors as much).

With the additional way-beyond-Captain-America test of ingenuity of getting the top of the flagpole down to you without lowering the flag. Because if you’re going to fight to the death to defend the flag, the stupidest opening move you could make would be to signal surrender by striking your colors.

Yes. It would have been interesting to see Skinny Stevey’s solution had the flag been the Stars and Stripes and not a regiment or camp rag. :smiley:

I killed two rabbits and injured a third with one shot once. Just sayin’…

He pulls the pin, pushes the pole, and uses his body to keep the flag from hitting the ground.