# Feeding your kid with hand is a crime in Norway?!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 19, 2012, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986 "2012-01-19T07:47:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/81 "2012-12-01T22:38:11Z")
> [@Jragon](#):
>
> Sleeping in the same bed is considered a safety issue, not a paedophilia issue. There have been a lot of cases (intentional or not is debatable) of parents accidentally (or not) rolling over and smothering children in their sleep.
I’m no expert, granted, not being a medical professional or a parent, but I find it hard to believe that a parent would not notice rolling onto a baby or small child unless alcohol or drugs are involved. I notice when some part of my body makes any contact with a smallish cat, who’s a lot smaller than a healthy baby (and have always had that ability). I even notice bumping into the cat if I did take an OTC sleep aid befoer bed.
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### Author:  [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/82 "2012-12-01T22:45:33Z")
Rats, meant “before”. I really can spell, just didn’t proof that post carefully enough. Sorry. ☹
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/83 "2012-12-01T23:06:36Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#):
>
> So your parents have sex with their kids in the same bed? Or don’t have sex at all? Either would sound pretty odd to most Americans.
In Indian families, there are a _lot_ of obstacles to a married couple having sex with much frequency.
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### Author:  [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/84 "2012-12-01T23:12:46Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> In Indian families, there are a _lot_ of obstacles to a married couple having sex with much frequency.
Doesn’t seem to have hindered the production of more Indians.
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### Author:  [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/85 "2012-12-01T23:15:12Z")
> [@Indian](#):
>
> In india, still babies are fed with hands by their parents,grand parents and relatives.They share same bed with parents. And they turn out to be fine.
>
> I am sure this is true in other south asian countries also.
>
> Norway strikes me as extreme.
Yes, in this case, the goverment should seriously butt out. The behavior is customary and clearly works just as well as other upbringings. Perhaps, in their fear of the wrong kind of touch, Norway has forgotten that children need touch very much.
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### Author:  [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/86 "2012-12-01T23:16:41Z")
nvm
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### Author:  [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/87 "2012-12-01T23:16:51Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#):
>
> read post 70. The father has admitted publicly that there was severe abuse in the home, that their explanation that the removal was based on trivial cultural differences was bullshit, and requested that the children remain with their foster parents in Norway (who are Indian).
Now this makes sense. Sorry I didn’t read the whole thread before posting. That’ll teach me. ☹
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### Author:  [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/88 "2012-12-01T23:33:05Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#):
>
> If the hands they were feeding to those babies were _human_ hands, then they absolutely should have their children taken away!
> [@Sailboat](#):
>
> I think you’ve put your finger on it.
Two thumbs up!
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### Author:  [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/89 "2012-12-01T23:44:33Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> Good to know I can find work kidnapping children for Stavanger Child Protective Services.
If you’d instead rather work in the U.S., PM me.
😛
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### Author:  [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/90 "2012-12-01T23:56:06Z")
> [@Simplicio](#):
>
> Eh, the mother was too sick to take care of the kids, so NYC put them up for the night in the institution they have set up to take care of kids. I don’t really see how that was embarassing, other then the writer of that article seems to go to bizarre lengths to make downtown Manhatten seem like some sort of post-apocalyptic hell-hole.
Quite possible. I don’t know about the UK (which is where the article was published), but here in the US, the term “orphanage” is very culturally loaded with Victorian imagery, much of it not terribly pleasant. We still have them, but we avoid using the term and prefer calling them “group homes” or somesuch in order to avoid comparing them directly with Dickensian institutions.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/91 "2012-12-02T00:11:27Z")
> [@Simplicio](#):
>
> Doesn’t seem to have hindered the production of more Indians.
It doesn’t take much frequency to accomplish that.
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### Author:  [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/92 "2012-12-02T00:46:22Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#):
>
> we avoid using the term and prefer calling them “group homes” or somesuch in order to avoid comparing them directly with Dickensian institutions.
Yes, being compared to halfway houses must be a much more favourable comparison. lol.
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### Author:  [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/93 "2012-12-02T01:09:04Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#):
>
> read post 70. The father has admitted publicly that there was severe abuse in the home, that their explanation that the removal was based on trivial cultural differences was bullshit, and requested that the children remain with their foster parents in Norway (who are Indian).
Mother given custody of the kids [after mental health evaluation](http://ibnlive.in.com/news/cwc-gives-custody-of-norway-nri-kids-to-their-mother-kids-uncle-protests/304721-3-231.html). It became a nasty custody battle.
Indian government has so far refused to intervene in second case.
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### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/94 "2012-12-02T02:10:41Z")
> [@Indian](#):
>
> Mother given custody of the kids [after mental health evaluation](http://ibnlive.in.com/news/cwc-gives-custody-of-norway-nri-kids-to-their-mother-kids-uncle-protests/304721-3-231.html). It became a nasty custody battle.
She’s claiming to have been beaten by her husband and tortured by Norwegian goons. I think this, plus the previous article, pretty much puts paid to any notion that CPS was just dealing with a normal Indian family that happened to use their hands while eating. Lordy.
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### Author:  [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/95 "2012-12-02T02:22:28Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> In Indian families, there are a _lot_ of obstacles to a married couple having sex with much frequency.
Could you expand on this point?
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### Author:  [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/96 "2012-12-02T02:38:04Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#):
>
> She’s claiming to have been beaten by her husband and tortured by Norwegian goons. I think this, plus the previous article, pretty much puts paid to any notion that CPS was just dealing with a normal Indian family that happened to use their hands while eating. Lordy.
The Norway incident caused them to file for divorce, and the both set of families wanted custody of grandkids.
In Indian divorce cases, husband accuses wife and wife accuses husband of many things for a quick divorce. In this case the custody of grandkids became a prestigious issue after all the negative publicity.
I read through a lot of reports in Indian media on this issue and both sides were trying to impress authorities as to otherwise was the cruel one for custody of kids. In India courts tend to give custody to mother, except in rare circumstances.
I am not saying there was no neglect, but the mother just cleared a mental health evaluation.
Now, what constitutes parental abuse in Norway is not necessarily parental abuse in India.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/97 "2012-12-02T02:39:25Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#):
>
> Could you expand on this point?
Just off the top of my head, I thought of these. There are probably more.
1. Architectural factors —
Indian houses are generally open-plan houses with numerous windows and multiple doors, which are kept open to encourage ventilation and cooling. Very commonly, there are rooms that can be accessed only by going through other rooms. So, architecturally, it’s difficult to get privacy.
1. Social/cultural factors —
— a. Traditionally, Indian households include multiple generations, and large houses might also include distant relatives or even people who are not related by blood. It is considered rude to close a door against a member of the household, and it is considered extremely disrespectful to close a door in the face of someone who is an elder. Thus, many members of the household have free access to most of the rooms, making it difficult for a couple to get privacy.
— b. Large households are likely to have servants going about their tasks throughout the day — rooms are often swept from floor to ceiling twice daily by sweepers.
— c. Sleeping arrangements are often fluid and what Westerners would consider unconventional. Except for newlyweds, it’s often not the case that a married couple gets to have its own bedroom to itself all night. It’s quite common for children to sleep with parents or grandparents, until they hit puberty, at least. Traditionally, it is common for a large family to have guests staying on short notice and even for open-ended stays. If there are guests in the house, sleeping arrangements are often shuffled, in order to give the guests the best bedrooms, or if there are a lot of people in the house, the bedrooms might be divided up between men and women/small children.
1. Religious factors —
For strict Hindus, there are _a lot_ of days during which sexual intercourse is forbidden, such as several days before and after a woman’s menses, on auspicious days, on inauspicious days, etc. If you follow all the rules, the sex permitted days can add up to only a handful over the course of a year. Honestly, I don’t know whether there are many people that follow such rules.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/98 "2012-12-02T03:01:13Z")
Footnotes:
1. Obviously, you can close the door when you’re using the bathroom or changing clothes. Often, bathrooms are large enough to do your changing in.
2. There are a lot of superstitions regarding women’s menses. For example, a woman having her period is not allowed near the household shrine, or the kitchen (often the household shrine is in or adjacent to the kitchen). Of course, just because the lady of the house is not allowed in the kitchen doesn’t mean she’s relieved of all of her meal preparation duties. Those are performed outside the kitchen, often on a back porch that the kitchen exits onto. If a man says “the kitchen is outdoors,” he’s basically saying that his wife is having her period.
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### Author:  [@MarcusF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarcusF)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/99 "2012-12-02T07:50:03Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#):
>
> Not to mention name-dropping Harlem (oooh scary) despite the fact that the mother was in Queens Hospital Center, which is in (wait for it) Queens! In a perfectly ordinary, working-to-middle class neighborhood. Which is logical, as she fell deathly sick in a hotel near Laguardia Airport which is in (wait for it) Queens.
>
> So the embarassing incident is that the NYC government took temporary responsibility for an unconscious woman’s minor, unsupervised children?
>
> And oh what a nightmare it turned out to be for the girls: “everyone turned out to be friendly. It was a good experience - just not really what we had gone on holiday for.”
In fact a typical Daily Mail story! :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeding-your-kid-with-hand-is-a-crime-in-norway/609986/100 "2012-12-02T20:33:48Z")
> [@madmonk28](#):
>
> The woman was Danish, she was drinking in a bar and people inside had told her it was too cold for the baby to be outside. Not only that, the woman had been to NYC many times, and was familiar with US childrearing custom as her husband is a native New Yorker who was with her at the time of the incident.
>
> [http://www.nytimes.com/1999/12/11/nyregion/mother-who-left-baby-outside-comes-under-fire-again.html](http://www.nytimes.com/1999/12/11/nyregion/mother-who-left-baby-outside-comes-under-fire-again.html)
She was in the papers here in Denmark the other day, pushing a semi-autobiographical novel. She went on and on about how much she enjoyed the media attention that followed her arrest back in the day. Came off sounding like a grade-A cunt all around.
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