# feeling disempowered **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2016, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262 "2016-02-16T14:27:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/1 "2016-02-16T14:27:13Z")
To make a long story short- I take courses with a company called Landmark which teaches individuals how to go tap into there natural ability to go from breakdowns to breakthroughs. Well I have had a couple of breakdowns throughout the seminar. Fortunately the coaches helped me get through it and therefore have a breakthrough. So yesterday was the last class and the leader asked for individuals to acknowledge there achievements in front of the class (over 100 people were there). I felt like the seminar leader really wanted me to get up and say something because I did get up weeks ago concerning a breakdown I had. However I did not. Now I feel very guilty and very down. Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on a potential blind spot? ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/2 "2016-02-16T15:16:50Z")
**Moderator Action** Welcome to the SDMB, **quantumleap2016**. Please note that the General Questions forum is for questions with factual answers. Posts seeking advice and opinions belong in our In My Humble Opinion forum. I will move this thread for you. Moving thread from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion. ---
**Author:** ![ElderSign](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eldersign/32/8263_2.png) [@ElderSign](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElderSign)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/3 "2016-02-16T17:15:01Z")
Check out REBT online (for free). It says > [@](#): > > You are responsible for your own emotions and actions, > Your harmful emotions and dysfunctional behaviors are the product of your irrational thinking, > You can learn more realistic views and, with practice, make them a part of you, > You’ll experience a deeper acceptance of yourself and greater satisfactions in life by developing > a reality-based perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/4 "2016-02-16T17:36:02Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > To make a long story short- I take courses with a company called Landmark which teaches individuals how to go tap into there natural ability to go from breakdowns to breakthroughs. Well I have had a couple of breakdowns throughout the seminar. Fortunately the coaches helped me get through it and therefore have a breakthrough. So yesterday was the last class and the leader asked for individuals to acknowledge there achievements in front of the class (over 100 people were there). I felt like the seminar leader really wanted me to get up and say something because I did get up weeks ago concerning a breakdown I had. However I did not. Now I feel very guilty and very down. Can anyone relate? Anyone have any advice on a potential blind spot? [Link to info about Landmark Worldwide.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landmark_Worldwide) Are you paying for this program yourself, or is your company paying for it? If it is your company, I’m wondering if you are feeling an obligation to “repay” your company by having these “breakthroughs” in a timely fashion. This could be causing your (in my opinion, unjustified) guilty feelings. ---
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/5 "2016-02-16T17:49:32Z")
Thank you Czrcasm, I am paying for it…maybe there is a sort of obligation to the coaches that did help me get through a difficult period. I felt like I should haacknowledged them in front of the class. But I didnt. I thanked them during the call. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/6 "2016-02-16T17:56:55Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > To make a long story short- I take courses with a company called Landmark which teaches individuals how to go tap into there natural ability to go from breakdowns to breakthroughs. As this is the In My Humble Opinion forum, I’d like to offer my humble opinion. Landmark is a scam and is designed to make you feel bad about yourself, at least initially. Someone was going to say it so I might as well be the first. In my honest and humble opinion you will feel much better about yourself if you never deal with them again, but be warned, they’ll try to guilt trip you out of that decision. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/7 "2016-02-16T17:59:49Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > To make a long story short- I take courses with a company called Landmark which teaches individuals how to go tap into there natural ability to go from breakdowns to breakthroughs. As this is the In My Humble Opinion forum, I’d like to offer my humble opinion. Landmark is a scam and is designed to make you feel bad about yourself, at least initially. Someone was going to say it so I might as well be the first. In my honest and humble opinion you will feel much better about yourself if you never deal with them again, but be warned, they’ll try to guilt trip you out of that decision. Many disagree with me so feel free to take my opinion with a pound of salt. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/8 "2016-02-16T18:01:37Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Thank you Czrcasm, I am paying for it…maybe there is a sort of obligation to the coaches that did help me get through a difficult period. I felt like I should haacknowledged them in front of the class. But I didnt. I thanked them during the call. You know that money you paid for the course? That is what you owe them-period. They get paid whether you have your “breakthrough” or not, and they will most certainly not blame themselves in any way, shape or form if you do not. All humans are not equal, and there is no way all humans will react on the same schedule and respond to the same teachings to receive the same “breakthroughs” at the same time. If what they are doing isn’t working for you, reject their guilt trip of “Over 90% Success Rate!!”, and go elsewhere. There is no such thing as “one size fits all” training. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/9 "2016-02-16T18:11:10Z")
> [@ElderSign](#): > > Check out REBT online (for free). It says Yeah, I’m going on 30 years of practicing getting my irrational thoughts under control, and I currently cannot hold a job because I break out in tears and screaming fits with no warning, or just start shaking from anxiety, or sit for an hour in a little ball in utter despair until as quickly as it started, its gone. Your quote makes it sound like you can achieve rationality. That isn’t always the case. As Czarcasm says, there is no one size fits all solution to mental illness. ---
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/10 "2016-02-16T18:16:44Z")
Thank you all @Czarcasm, actually the coaches don’t get paid and neither does the seninar leader. They are volunteering to help us out. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/11 "2016-02-16T18:30:26Z")
> [@quantumleap2016](#): > > Thank you all > > @Czarcasm, actually the coaches don’t get paid and neither does the seninar leader. They are volunteering to help us out. Landmark’s getting paid, but they aren’t paying their help? Sounds strange to me. Listen-there is a difference between “training” and “therapy”. A training course can be scheduled to run a certain number of hours, days, weeks, months etc. and be expected to be completed within that set time frame by most who participate, whereas with therapy the timeframe depends entirely on the individual and problems being dealt with. Even _group_ therapy isn’t set up so that everybody finishes together and the same set time in the near future. If you need training, take a training course. If you need therapy, go see a licensed therapist. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/12 "2016-02-16T20:00:29Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Landmark’s getting paid, but they aren’t paying their help? Sounds strange to me. Part of their business model is badgering students into becoming volunteer trainers. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/13 "2016-02-16T20:07:38Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Part of their business model is badgering students into becoming volunteer trainers. Screw _that_. I pay someone money, I don’t take advice from someone who just took the course the week before. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/14 "2016-02-16T20:46:36Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Screw _that_. I pay someone money, I don’t take advice from someone who just took the course the week before. It also strikes me that they are doing an AWESOME job of teaching boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/15 "2016-02-17T00:29:37Z")
Let me guess: Their reaction to you will be: "Great Start! You made progress! Now, for another $X hundreds, you can take the NexT SteP, which will help you through your current anguish. For those who didn’t follow the link, and are old enough to remember: est for a new generation. But, this time, you DO get chances to pee. (I believe it was est which was famous for “you can’t leave - this is your mental health at stake!”). ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/16 "2016-02-17T04:08:27Z")
Landmark Forum, right? At least that’s what it was called when I did the weekend training. Helpful in some ways. A bit underhanded in their training and, umm, _advancement_ training. I recall the process for signing up for the next phase was not unlike the way James Jones convinced everyone to drink the Kool Aid. In fact, it was _exactly_ like it. When I attended, the first hour-plus of the weekend seminar was spent explaining how Landmark was not a cult – that they got three straight clean bills of health from the Cult Awareness Network. What The Forum somehow forgot to mention is that the Cult Awareness Network was a watchdog organization that folded due it’s inability to withstand multiple lawsuits filed against it by members of the Church of Scientology and its name/ownership/license/charter/whatever was transferred to members belonging to… wait for it… the Church of Scientology. And don’t think those long days of training were solely to give you the best training possible; it’s because the mind is more prone to accept brainwash-- er, training, when operating on lack of sleep. If you want long-lasting (and legitimate) self-improvement, look into hypnotherapy and start a discipline like meditation/yoga. If you have difficulty sticking with such a program, join a group; it’s easier to maintain a practice when you’re among similar-minded peers. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/17 "2016-02-17T04:19:55Z")
Here is [Rationalwiki](http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Landmark_Forum)’s take on them. They have it in their “cult” category. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/18 "2016-02-17T08:40:35Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > As this is the In My Humble Opinion forum, I’d like to offer my humble opinion. > > Landmark is a scam and is designed to make you feel bad about yourself, at least initially. > > Someone was going to say it so I might as well be the first. In my honest and humble opinion you will feel much better about yourself if you never deal with them again, but be warned, they’ll try to guilt trip you out of that decision. Awww, you beat me to it. The self-help industry as a whole is a great big scam designed to separate desperate, lonely people from their money via empty promises. If you truly need help feeling better about yourself, or working through some blocks, go see a mental health professional with their 10 years of training and a license to practice therapy and a medical board that oversees their ethics. Also, some self-help advice I’ll give you for free – YOU ARE ALWAYS ALLOWED TO SET YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES. You are a human being with agency and autonomy and you have every right to do that. You CAN say no if you want to. If your ‘leader’ was guilt tripping you, that’s HIS problem, not yours. Don’t give him any of your mental real estate. Side note: does anyone recall a similar scam/cultish/self-help seminar thing that my fading memory can only recall as “The \_\_\_\_\_ Experience”? I ran across them many many years ago. (A wackadoo friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend tried to draw me in, but oddly could never seem to describe exactly what I could expect to GET for my multi-hundred-dollar entrance fee. Just that it was “amazing” and “life changing” and no matter how often I reiterated that I didn’t even have that kind of money, she would NOT let it go.) ---
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/19 "2016-02-17T14:22:43Z")
Thank you all very kind people. For a moment, I was feeling guilty, like I let them down for not speaking up in front of the class , but in all honesty, I just wasn’t inspired to. The time when I did speak up- I was very compelled to unlike the last class in which I felt I was coerced to do something I just did not feel the calling to do. I am just letting myself down by allowing them to put me on a guilt trip. I do have boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![quantumleap2016](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f08c70/32.png) [@quantumleap2016](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quantumleap2016)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2016, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262/20 "2016-02-17T14:25:23Z")
And I am not obligated to do anything for them. I already paid them my money. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-disempowered/746262.md?page=2)