# Feeling shitty about my parenting skills... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-shitty-about-my-parenting-skills/691842 "2014-06-28T04:06:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-shitty-about-my-parenting-skills/691842/21 "2014-06-29T15:42:07Z")
> [@starryspice](#): > > Another thing is that I tend to give him the “hold my hand” lecture only when it becomes an issue - I need to talk with him a lot more at home about when we hold hands and when it’s ok to run, when it’s not an immediate issue. Fuck talking, at that age what grownups say tends to sound like “¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦”; most grownups explain a lot more and talk a lot more than a kid (specially a first child) is ready to take in - and God, I swear some parents explain things more to their toddler than to each other\*! It’s doing: make sure that you grab his hand more often than you really think you need to. I’m glad you’re both ok. - My brother and his wife would talk to their toddler about the nutritional value of food. Dubya tee eff? Dude, just say “eat your greens”, don’t talk to the kid about fiber! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-shitty-about-my-parenting-skills/691842/22 "2014-06-29T17:32:30Z")
We had new neighbors move in across the street last week. As I was driving toward my home I noticed the new lady talking with another neighbor; there were two kids - obviously hers - running around playing. One, who is maybe 4 years old, ran part way into the street as I was approaching. I stopped as the mom yelled, “you come over here!” to the kid, then resumed her conversation. I am concerned about that kid. I’m not worried about yours. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-shitty-about-my-parenting-skills/691842/23 "2014-06-29T18:05:52Z")
Maybe now might be a good time to begin to explain to him the duties of a Big Brother? That is, helping protect the baby from danger. Sort of, in his eyes, changing it from parents vs him to him and parents vs the baby. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-shitty-about-my-parenting-skills/691842/24 "2014-06-29T19:44:02Z")
> [@starryspice](#): > > I’ve always been so easily distracted and slow to act, and I’ve always felt that was a bad match for parenting, and now today proves that. I wish I knew how to become more focused, or develop that sixth sense that other parents seem to have when it comes to protecting their kids. This incident doesn’t mean you’re a bad match for parenting. It’s means you’re human and fucked up because that’s what humans do. We fuck up. A lot, most of us. Thanks be, this won’t be the last time you fuck up with this little guy. He’s okay, and you’re going to have plenty more opportunities to get it wrong, and you’re going to take advantage of at least some of those opportunities no matter how hard you try not to. Be grateful you’re going to have more chances, then get out there and buy you a baby leash, maybe one that can clip onto the stroller or your belt loop. It’ll be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Sehmket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Sehmket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sehmket)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-shitty-about-my-parenting-skills/691842/25 "2014-06-29T23:10:04Z")
> [@starryspice](#): > > Once we got home, we had dinner and all as normal and I put him to bed, and ever since then I can’t seem to stop crying. I just keep picturing what could have happened. I don’t really want to make myself feel better, but I can’t stop crying and I know I need to go to bed at some point. I just keep thinking, I’m going to have another baby soon, and then I’ll need to watch two at once. Starryspice, I’m not a parent, so I can’t much comment on how is or is not the best way to act towards your kids. However, this section jumped out at me… If you’re crying and upset to the point that you don’t think you can sleep, repetitive thoughts on a topic (even valid thoughts!) that you’re having difficulty moving on to other thoughts… well, hormones can do dumb things to our bodies and our brains, and pregnancy is a prime time for hormones to do things. You may want to consider talking to your OB about a referral to someone who has experience in pre-natal anxiety. It could be that you just had a moment of anxiety. It could be that they have some literature or other info for tacking on a second kid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feeling-shitty-about-my-parenting-skills/691842.md?page=1)