# Felch (n.), Felching (vbl. n.)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 8, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292 "2000-11-08T13:32:46Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@TomH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TomH)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/1 "2000-11-08T13:32:46Z")
This is a serious, non-offensive post but I thought the Pitizens might have more to say on the subject than the inhabitants of the other forums.
The _Oxford English Dictionary_ is going through another revision and, as usual, they are looking for readers to submit examples of particular words from particular dates.
Two of the many words of which they have appealed for examples are:
_Felch_ (verb), antedate 1972; and
_Felching_ (verbal noun [_not_ the participle], antedate 1991
References must be to quotable, published sources. Information on how to contribute to the reading programme is on the [OED website](http://www.oed.com/public/readers/research.htm).
I don’t know of any references myself, but I’m sure one of the many felch-happy dopers must do.
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### Author:  [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2000, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/2 "2000-11-08T14:06:02Z")
Felch: To draw material from the rectum any of various hollow-horned, bearded ruminant mammals of the genus Capra, originally of mountainous regions of the Old World, especially any of the domesticated forms of C. hircus, raised for wool, milk, and meat orally by use of a cylinder shaped object. (ie straw)
Felching: To felch\* as in to felch a goat \*
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### Author:  [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/3 "2000-11-08T14:10:21Z")
I guess I won’t be needing this goat anymore.
Does anyone want to buy a goat with a slight aversion to straws?
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### Author:  [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/4 "2000-11-08T20:58:57Z")
So basically you’re telling me that _felching_ is like using a goat as one would use a juice box with those little straws?
Sheesh, what a picture!
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### Author:  [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/5 "2000-11-08T21:21:29Z")
Why’s it always gotta be goats!!!
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### Author:  [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/6 "2000-11-08T23:07:30Z")
No, you can’t just make up a definition, you have to find a reference to it in a book. I know that someone reported reading about felching a few months ago, that reference is the one we need to dig up.
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### Author:  [@TomH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TomH)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2000, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/7 "2000-11-09T11:07:36Z")
Or it could be a magazine or a newspaper, but it needs to be a published source, not the spoken word and probably not the Internet, unless it’s an on-line version of something which is published in hard copy. The lexicographers will come up with a definition themselves, but it will be based in part on the quotations submitted by readers.
The fact that they are looking for quotations to antedate 1972 and 1991 indicates that they already have quotes from those years.
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### Author:  [@Pergau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pergau)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/8 "2000-11-09T15:36:56Z")
I know I’m wromg but I always thought that Felching was what you did with Gerbils. Althought I don’t mean YOU personally, but rather “you” as in Hollywood stars.
Did anyone else think this? and what do you call that pursuit.
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### Author:  [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/9 "2000-11-09T16:59:48Z")
**Felching** is removing semen from your partner’s anal orifice with a straw. In jokes on the SDMB, it gets attached to goats a lot, but people really do this with each other IRL.
**Gerbilling** is the practice of putting gerbils up your ass that [Urban Legends](http://www.snopes.com/sex/homosex/gerbil.htm) associate with movie stars.
–John
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### Author:  [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2000, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/10 "2000-11-10T03:22:39Z")
Let us not forget [Felch, Michigan](http://www.mapquest.com/cgi-bin/ia_find?link=btwn/twn-map_results&zoom_level=8&uid=u9jeuegw4cbdw2be:rg5rbxl6b&SNVData=3mad3-g.fy%28w8whza_%29rtg14z%3bah7-%3d%3aUmnl9_TO%28_F%15%285df1a1%3a_g0rasg%3aa%3bwh%7c2&pcat=), which I still think would be a great place for a dopefest.
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### Author:  [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/11 "2000-11-10T06:24:18Z")
THEY DON’T USE A STRAW!!! Geez… why do people keep insisting that they grab a straw for this? It isn’t needed and is highly illogical.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/12 "2000-11-10T22:31:04Z")
I fail to see why it would be illogical to use a straw. Unless, that is, you have the ability to purse your lips into a small cylinder suitable for passing through the sphincter, and into the colorectal cavity, where the semen would be deposited. Otherwise, it would take a bit of pushing on the felchee’s part, don’t you think?
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### Author:  [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/13 "2000-11-11T04:48:33Z")
No, you just put your lips on the outside of the anus and suck. Not that difficult a concept. Note that I’ve never done this, nor would I, but I have performed analingus enough times to know how I would do it were I so inclined. I’ve also asked people who have actual experience doing this and they’ve agreed: no straw.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/14 "2000-11-11T16:17:49Z")
Goodness, that’s some serious sucking.
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### Author:  [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/15 "2000-11-11T17:44:26Z")
Never eat infront of the computer again.
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### Author:  [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/16 "2000-11-11T17:56:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by OpalCat \*
> \*\*but I have performed analingus enough times \*\*
But not on a Golden Retriever, right?
–Tim
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### Author:  [@mothman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mothman)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/17 "2001-10-17T19:52:54Z")
i have searched and searched for this now I am bringing it to the top so that all the newbies (myself included) will finally have an understanding of…whatever it is.
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### Author:  [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/18 "2001-10-17T20:04:17Z")
Goodness, what an old thread.
Regardless, I’ll chime in - felching has not one whit to do with small furry animals, nor does it have anything to do with straws. Really, at that point, who cares about keeping their face neat n’ pretty by delicately holding a bendy-straw with one pinky extended? It’s not a mimosa, it’s jit!
Esprix
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### Author:  [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/19 "2001-10-17T20:36:40Z")
I need to use my .sig more often.
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### Author:  [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felch-n-felching-vbl-n/40292/20 "2001-10-17T20:38:00Z")
Apparantly, I need to learn how to use check boxes as well.
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