# Felching news **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 18, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462 "2000-10-18T21:21:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/1 "2000-10-18T21:21:47Z")
I just had this forwarded to me as a member of our private humour list here at work. Maybe the story has been posted before. The oddest thing is that the woman who sent it is notably religious, and I wouldn’t have expected her to even be reading it, much less passing it on. The news (actually from the LA Times): “In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out “Armageddon”, my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.” At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.” Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. * * * Thought for the day: Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/2 "2000-10-18T21:33:24Z")
What’s interesting about this is the fact that felching has nothing to do with gerbils. If you were able to supply a link to the article online, a publication date, another source or anything at all to back this up other than just claiming that it was printed in the LA Times, I might be able to take you seriously and respect you as a valuable member of this community. As it stands, however . . . > **[Snopes.com](https://www.snopes.com)** > > The definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation. ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/3 "2000-10-18T21:36:11Z")
I don’t mean to be rude, but this is beyond old…“chestnut” wouldn’t even begin to describe it. [DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME…](http://www.urbanlegends.com/animals/gerbilling/gerbil_tailpipe.html) [IN SEARCH OF THE ELUSIVE GERBIL LOVER](http://www.baywindows.com/gerbil.asp) I do want to say that this type of sterotyping is beyond absurd. Would you circulate a “funny” story about two african-american men eating fried chicken? rjk, there are gay posters here…tread carefully, or you might end up in the pit. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/4 "2000-10-18T21:37:34Z")
**rjk** , my clueless but dear friend, felching involves sucking semen out of vagina or anus, if memory serves me. Nothing whatsover to do with a gerbil. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/5 "2000-10-18T21:39:02Z")
This one has been debunked right and left, not only at snopes but at several other sources. [http://www.snopes.com/sex/homosex/gerbil.htm](http://www.snopes.com/sex/homosex/gerbil.htm) It’s mindless and inane homophobic drivel. I’d continue, but this isn’t worth taking to the pit. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/6 "2000-10-18T21:49:15Z")
. . . but have a lovely day, none the less. ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/7 "2000-10-18T21:55:25Z")
Urban Legends always push the right buttons around here, don’t they? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/8 "2000-10-18T21:59:02Z")
> [@](#): > > rjk, my clueless but dear friend, felching involves sucking semen out of vagina or anus, if memory serves me. Nothing whatsover to do with a gerbil. iampunha, I’ve been a member of this message board for not even four months now. I have heard the terms “felching” and “squaking” ([sp?]Hell I’m not even sure if squaking is the right word) thrown around quite loosly here. After seeing these words, and wondering what they meant, I came upon a thread created by a newbie, who was wondering what these words definitions were. Several responses were just mindless chatter, but the majority was by posters who typed “Don’t ask, you don’t want to know” or something to that extent. Anywho, I always thought that sucking the semen out of a sexually active orifice, was called “shrimping”. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/9 "2000-10-18T22:04:32Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by sk8rixtx \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Anywho, I always thought that sucking the semen out of a sexually active orifice, was called “shrimping”. \*\* Shrimping is toe-sucking. ---
**Author:** ![tomas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tomas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomas)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/10 "2000-10-18T22:06:10Z")
This transcript was circulating the net several months ago as a wave-file. It was the transcript from a radio talk show host. He was reading this text on the air but I don’t remember whether it was supposed to be from the LA times or some other source. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/11 "2000-10-18T22:08:39Z")
**sk8rixtx** , The term is, in fact, “felching”. It is a very real word for a very real sex act. The other term after which you inquire is “squicking”. This is a ridiculous concept that I’m sure was invented by a very bored individual and has never been performed. Therefore, I will not even begin to describe what it supposedly entails. If you’re dying of curiosity, employ the search function of the SDMB. These terms have all been discussed in some length before. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/12 "2000-10-18T22:45:05Z")
The gerbil UL is so old that it receives a Social Secuity check. The names change with every telling, however the nickname “Kiki” always seems to stick around in every single re-telling of this legend. The gerbil is usually named Raggot, as well. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/13 "2000-10-18T23:11:45Z")
My favorite debunking of the gerbil myth actually came from Dan Savage. He actually called Pet-pourri here in SF, kitty-corner from my old apartment at the time. He asked them if the sold Gerbils. Their quote was, I believe, “nope”. His reasoning was that if it was at all practiced, a pet shop in the heart of the heart of gay San Francisco would carry them. As it is, they are illegal here. Anyway, I just got a kick that he described my home as the heart of the heart of Gay San Francisco. Actually, I was halfway between Duboce Triangle and the Lower Haight at the time. Not really the Castro, but I’ll forgive him his transgression. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/14 "2000-10-18T23:32:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monkeylucifer \* > **Would you circulate a “funny” story about two african-american men eating fried chicken?** Pardon my ignorance but what on earth do african-american men and fried chicken have to do with anything? Is there some ethnic stereotype that I’m unaware of? ---
**Author:** ![looselucy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@looselucy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/looselucy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/15 "2000-10-18T23:38:53Z")
i don’t care if the story is old, or if it is an urban legend, all i care about is that it makes me laugh everytime i hear it. and now i have a good one about 2 guys and a chicken… ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/16 "2000-10-18T23:41:29Z")
It doesn’t matter if it’s old, or an UL, what matters LooseLucy (not gonna even touch that name) is that it plays on sterotypes and is quite offensive. got it? ---
**Author:** ![looselucy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@looselucy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/looselucy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/17 "2000-10-18T23:49:19Z")
offensive… to the gerbil? just because something is offensive doesn’t mean it can’t be humorous. in fact, some of the funniest stuff is the most offensive. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/18 "2000-10-18T23:51:44Z")
Some humour is offensive. When it is funny because it reinforces racial/sexual/gender stereotypes, it ceases to be funny. Kinda like if someone whacks you over the head with a board. Some insensitive assholes might find it funny, but the person being whacked will not… Get it? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/19 "2000-10-18T23:57:09Z")
It always makes me cringe. I mean, even if it WAS practiced, wouldn’t it be more by beastiality people, NOT homosexuals? The idea of cruelty to animals isn’t funny either! ---
**Author:** ![looselucy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@looselucy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/looselucy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462/20 "2000-10-19T00:00:29Z")
it’s a fucking joke. get it? ‘fucking’ joke. i have gay friends who laugh at gay jokes, blind friends who laugh at blind jokes, polish friends who laugh at polish jokes. stereotypes are established because, hello… there are similarities in certain cultures/genders/etc. and it can be damn funny. oh, but you need a sense of humor. get it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/felching-news/37462.md?page=2)