# Feline Psychosis is Treatable: And no you can't get a Movie for the Cat! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108 "2003-07-31T12:24:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/1 "2003-07-31T12:24:46Z")
As many of you know the Phlosphr household has grown in the past months by one 5 pound piece of Fuzz called [Minmei](http://www.orecatay.com/images/photos/sir-muggles.jpg) . Now she is growing, growing, growing…sufficed to say we are training her to not climb the walls, and she has taken a liking to her kitty palace so much so that sometimes she doesn’t even come out when we open the door in the morning. For all intents and purposes she’s a normal little siamese. Loves to talk all day, chase mothes (she nabed a luna moth the other day and didn’t know what to do with it) And she doesn’t like Praying Mantis…long story. The Kitty isn’t the problem. My wife has entered into some form of kitty transcendental psychosis…she leaves the TV on when we go out so the _kitty_ can watch it…😕 She ignores me completely if she has the cat on her belly resting. And it culminated in a fit of wonder upon my part when she asked if we could get a movie for the kitty the other day… **The Lion King** … No. I have a wonderful relationship with my wife. She and I get along great. She’s currently working on a Text Book and is gone most of the day, so I’m with Minmei all day long. When she get’s home she only wants to play with the kitty. Is there such thing as feline mind control? Sometimes when I am typing up in my office I can feel a weight on my neck. The hair on my forearms rises slowly and goose bumps pop up everywhere. And I can feel two ice-blue eyes staring at me and only me…when I turn there she is sitting in the doorway glaring at me, expressionless. It’s rather eery at times. The when my wife get’s home she leaps to joy and meriment like a schizophrenic badger on massive doses of methamphetamine. So last night I submitted to the torture and played with the little weasel for an hour or so. She got a healthy dose of cat-nip before bed and was out for the count the entire night. Now this morning my wife is down stairs giving the kitty some milk and the day begins again. When she leaves the cat will be up here for sure. So can cat’s read your thoughts? Control your mind? or induce a general sense of not being in control anymore? 🙂 I know, I know, I know. I need updated photo’s I’ll try soon. ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/2 "2003-07-31T14:16:21Z")
Um… Now you understand when we say “You don’t _own_ cats, they \* own\* you.” ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/3 "2003-07-31T17:01:33Z")
Are all cats literally like this? ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/4 "2003-07-31T17:52:34Z")
well, **Phlosphr** , you’ve got to understand some of the dynamics going on here. you have a **kitten** you are married to a **Female** **kittens** display all the physical aspects of **babyhood** (small size, rounded forehead, oversized eyes/ears/feet) **Females** are genetically wired to respond to signs of **babyhood** , often more strongly than **Males** many **Females** also have a tendency to respond to **cats** , regardless of the age factor q.e.d., your wife, who is **Female** , is responding to the doulbe biological imperative to nuture, watch over and otherwise be involved with **kitten** to the (temporary, one hopes) near-exclusion of all else. bright spot: some of this fixation ought to diminish when overt signs of **babyhood** have been outgrown. but i’d suggest you start putting in strong bids _now_ to keep yourself visible in the “Items I Need to Check On Occasionally” category, so it will be easier for you to re-advance in the priorities list once the **kitten** phase has passed. rots of ruck. now, you could be subtle about this. try, when wife and kitten are merging into symbiotic physical proximity, going over and either actively petting kitten to show you are a willing part of the Hive Mind, or (if you’re daring) actually _picking up kitten and cuddling in full view of wife_. (has the one-two combo of showing Solidarity With Kitty while simultaneously _separating_ wife and kitten.) why yes, i AM devious. why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/5 "2003-07-31T17:54:23Z")
No, all cats are uniquely like themselves … like this. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/6 "2003-07-31T18:32:40Z")
Didn’t we try to warn you that this would happen? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/7 "2003-07-31T20:16:52Z")
I’m wondering whether you guys are planning on ever having kids. If you are, you will \*\*fondly \*\*look back at your time with the cat. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/8 "2003-07-31T20:20:15Z")
BTW, it is really not a Good Idea to give milk to cats, in spite of the common stereotype. It can have unfortunate digestive side effects in those past the normal weaning age. These side effects will not be fun to clean up after. “There are many intelligent life forms in the galaxy. They are all owned by cats.” “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” - Robert A. Heinlein And that kitten is adorable. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/9 "2003-08-01T00:06:05Z")
You’d better watch it. My parents have two cats. One of them loves everyone equally and firmly believes the feeling is returned - he’ll approach strangers in the street to demand cat adoration. He’s not the problem. The other cat is my mother’s and only my mother’s. He tolerates everyone else (unless you’re feeding him, in which case he’s your best friend) but that’s the extent of it. This cat wants to kill my father. I’ve seen the look in his eyes when my father is in the room - it’s genuinely homicidal. He hasn’t tried anything yet, but you just know he’s waiting for the right time to strike. The moral of the story for **Philosphr**? If this cat bonds exclusively with your wife, you might want to watch your back. Some day your wife might come home and find you’ve had a little accident, and no one would even think of blaming such a cute and innocent looking little fuzzball. 😉 Oh, and the cats have been known to watch tv. They’re particularly fond of sports like hockey where you’ve got lots of movement on the screen, but one of them (the non-homicidal one) once spent the better part of an hour intently watching a documentary on cougars. I guess he was interested in his distant relatives. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/10 "2003-08-01T02:33:23Z")
You’ll know that she is beyond the point of no return when she purchases a copy of “The Cat Show” video for your cat to watch on TV. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/11 "2003-08-01T05:24:41Z")
You don’t just have a cat, **Phlosphr**. If that photo is any indication, you have The Cutest Cat On Earth. And she’s Siamese, so that just compounds the effect. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phlosphr \* > **…or induce a general sense of not being in control anymore? 🙂** Aw, it’s so cute when someone doesn’t know what’s happened to him. You’re getting that general sense of not being in control anymore because, in short, you’re not. The cat owns the household now, and she’s very shrewdly chosen to control your wife completely. First. The bright side is that they get far less cute as they age. On the other hand, they get smarter and better at manipulating you. At least you won’t have to pay for her college. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/12 "2003-08-01T05:51:08Z")
You need to remember that a) All cats are insane. b) Siamese, of any stripe, doubly so. c) Feline insanity is often cross-species contagious. For the most part, yeah, they all spend part of the day staring at you, without seeing you. They also spend part of the day staring at blank spots on the wall, attacking invisible _things_ that scuttle across the floor, waging life or death struggles with paper bags/cardboard boxes… The insanity does tend to lessen in intensity, as a function of age. This, too, is cross-species. Cat gets a little less insane\*, she gets a little less insanely obsessed with the cat… life approaches something vaguely similar to normal. For varying degrees of normal. Oh, and watch out for that “leaving the TV on for the pets” business. If not checked early, it leads to a full blown psychosis, wherein turning the TV off for any amount of time, or any reason, becomes seemingly impossible.\*\* \*[sub]Actually, I think what happens is not so much that they get less crazy as they do lazier, thereby exhibitng fewer instances of lunacy, not because they’s any less whacko, but because they sleep more hours of the day.[/sub] \*\*[sub]Well, maybe that’s just my MIL. But the only time her friggin’ TV is off is when the power’s out. It all started with “leaving it on for the dog while we’re out.” If no one in the house is awake, including the dog, it’s still on.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/13 "2003-08-01T13:16:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skeezix \* > \ > [sub]\*\*If no one in the house is awake, including the dog, it’s still on.[/sub] \*\* And this is a problem how??? If the cat wants the TV on, she will turn it on herself if you don’t leave it on. Trust me on this! ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/14 "2003-08-01T14:17:48Z")
**Phlosphr** , I have a gently used copy of **The Lion King** I can mail you if you email me your address. Then at least you aren’t out any rental fees. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/15 "2003-08-01T14:24:45Z")
**mrs jjimm** is pretty much the same. It’s a child substitute thing. ---
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/16 "2003-08-01T15:18:34Z")
May I suggest a couple other feline favorites for viewing pleasure. _Homeward Bound_ and _Cats and Dogs_. No, I’m sorry. I can’t send mine. I have 3 cats ya know. 😛 Kathy ---
**Author:** ![Rob\_V](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Rob\_V](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rob_V)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/17 "2003-08-01T16:33:09Z")
My friends, a married couple, have a couple miniature weiner dogs (I can’t spell “dachshund”) and the wife is the same way about them. We’ve completely given up on them ever coming to our house anymore because she cannot bear to leave them. (I don’t know how she manages to go to work everyday.) I think it’s like jjimm says, it’s a child substitute thing. I think you should follow lachesis’ advice and insert yourself in there somehow before you get left out in the cold. Although like she also said, it will diminish as the kitty becomes a cat. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/18 "2003-08-01T17:21:06Z")
Awww… get used to it, **Phlosphr**. Kitties _own_ humans, otherwise why would we do the things we do for them? 🙂 CG and I have turned our home upside down (almost quite literally) to please our pair of munchkin-sized mutant kitties. Our cats have also turned on the TV and the Answering machine when it pleased them. One of our cats, Rumpleteazer, also goes into the cabinets after food/treats when she feels like it and is not adverse to climbing to the top of the fridge to reach the bananas on occassion. IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Particlezen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e79b87/32.png) [@Particlezen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Particlezen)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/19 "2003-08-01T20:38:57Z")
I would choose my cats over anyone. Which scares me. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108/20 "2003-08-04T12:50:31Z")
It’s been a while since I posted. had an UBER busy weekend. I guess I must reserve myself to the fact that minmei is going to be queen. I still have my dog who can at least come outside with me. And do what I say. The cat and wife tend to ignore me. Well not right now. We have a little rumbling thunder right now and she’s under my desk at my feet. We’re re-grappling with the idea of declawing her, we can not keep her off the walls, seriously. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feline-psychosis-is-treatable-and-no-you-cant-get-a-movie-for-the-cat/192108.md?page=2)