# Fellow Dopers, A Word if I May **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2007, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586 "2007-02-17T02:51:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/181 "2007-02-21T00:58:26Z")
[QUOTE=Polycarp] I personally like **Lissa** a great deal, and the only issue I have, which I would ordinarily not have mentioned, is the **air of authoritativeness** she takes on in threads related to correctional institutions generally. [/QUOTE] (emphasis mine) I understand what you’re saying, and I don’t mean to belittle your point, but… sometimes what we smell in the “air” is ourselves. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/182 "2007-02-21T01:08:00Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] True, **Lissa** did invite the responses she’s gotten in this thread. But she opened this thread in the first place because she was getting those sorts of responses in _other_ threads. If her question is, “What am I doing wrong in all these other threads, and how should I change my posting style as a result?” I think that, “You aren’t doing anything wrong, and you shouldn’t change a thing,” is as valid a response as any other. [/quote] I guess you must have forgotten the part where you equated the critics with a “lynch mob.” [QUOTE=Miller] There are almost 200 posts to this thread. Although I haven’t worked out the percentages myself, I’m fairly certain that your own posts make up a fairly small percentage of the content in this thread. In the spirit of offering constructive criticism to posters one otherwise admires, you might want to consider getting over yourself just a teensy bit. [/QUOTE] I’m quite aware that it’s not just about me. I’m also aware, however, that plenty of people in this thread have been offering genuine and thoughtful criticism, and are not ragging on **Lissa** just for the sake of being assholes. You might disagree with those people, but it doesn’t make them a lynch mob, or “snide unhappy people” in **Sonia Montdore** ’s words. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/183 "2007-02-21T01:59:14Z")
This thread is starting to make my head spin. I think I’ll go have a Long-Island Iced Tea or two and come back whereupon things surely will be a lot easier to follow. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/184 "2007-02-21T02:44:47Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] I guess you must have forgotten the part where you equated the critics with a “lynch mob.” I’m quite aware that it’s not just about me. I’m also aware, however, that plenty of people in this thread have been offering genuine and thoughtful criticism, and are not ragging on **Lissa** just for the sake of being assholes. You might disagree with those people, but it doesn’t make them a lynch mob, or “snide unhappy people” in **Sonia Montdore** ’s words. [/QUOTE] No, I’m aware of my word choice, and I stand by it. It certainly describes the situation that led to **Lissa** feeling she needed to start this thread in the first place, and I think it describes a sufficiently high percentage of the thread itself to warrant the description. True, it doesn’t describe every single post in this thread. I suppose, “a bunch of assholes, plus some doubtlessly well-intentioned folks who have nonetheless taken this thread as an opportunity to air their petty and unfounded gripes,” would have been more accurate, but “lynch mob” sounded zestier, so I went with that instead. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/185 "2007-02-21T02:47:09Z")
**Miller** , I hope you’re not including me in that group. I have always liked you, and I’ve always liked **Lissa**. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/186 "2007-02-21T06:29:31Z")
I know there is a poster here who works in a museum and that her husband works in some sort of correctional facility capacity. It only rings a bell to me because other posters mention it. One of the really bummer things about this site is that that damned search button works so well, the readers are so damned regular and their memories are so damned good. The fact is, people that read doggie threads probably think of you more one way than folks that read about criminal threads. Egads, read any Mommy threads and I’m the soppiest sponge here. I’m often perceived differently by people than I expect. I don’t understand it sometimes, but it happens online and in my life, so there is something that I’m doing that causes it. I also have to realize that sometimes, people are just freaks and just tend to take things the wrong way. (I greeted a table today with Happy Mardi Gras and Happy New Year, it’s the year of the pig, a very lucky year! and a lady went off about how stupid Cincinnatti is with their flying pigs everywhere) If it’s any comfort, I’m pretty odd, but I’ve never had a problem with your posts, your usage of the word Hubby, or anything really, (that I recall) And I really did like your input in the missing wallet threads. I’ve always wanted to work in a museum. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/187 "2007-02-21T13:28:48Z")
[QUOTE=Auntbeast] (I greeted a table today with Happy Mardi Gras and Happy New Year, it’s the year of the pig, a very lucky year! and a lady went off about how stupid Cincinnatti is with their flying pigs everywhere) [/QUOTE] Flying pigs? Everyone knows that Cincinnati is all about plummeting Turkeys. What’s up with these new fangled Flying Pigs? 😉 Jim ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/188 "2007-02-21T14:42:34Z")
The bitchiness in this thread is shameful. Several people ought to apologize to to the OP. Just goes to show, unhappy people resent those, like **Lissa** , who are well-adjusted and pleasant. I feel very sorry for some of the bitter people who have posted here. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/189 "2007-02-21T15:09:09Z")
[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore] The bitchiness in this thread is shameful. Several people ought to apologize to to the OP. Just goes to show, unhappy people resent those, like **Lissa** , who are well-adjusted and pleasant. I feel very sorry for some of the bitter people who have posted here. [/QUOTE] **Sonia** , I guess I am a supporter of **Lissa**. She knows I am, so I pretty much stayed out of this thread. At first, I thought it was a bad idea, but it looks like it turned out to be a good idea. A few of the posts have been constructive criticism and a few have been cutting. To expect people to apologize for saying mean things in this a pit thread is very unreasonable. **Lissa** had to know she would get some posts like this. Letting posters vent their minor annoyances here and now is probably a good and positive thing overall. **Lissa** will probably watch the tone of her posts a little, she might be a little more careful in reading rebuttals of some of her specific thoughts and experiences and having had their say, many posters will probably be less annoyed by her and thus less bitchy towards her in the future. **Lissa** is a nice poster. I like reading her posts. She is good about providing links to things that support what she says when she knows she is not an expert. These are all very good things. She has a few quirks that apparently annoyed a surprising number of dopers. I hope that this thread cleared the air. Just because some people are willing to express their annoyance without holding back does not make them bitter people. I think **ETF** is a good example. Does she come off bitter in most threads? She also is a very nice poster. She is witty and has a great ability to make Limericks and Haikus. Like **Lissa** , I look forward to her posts. When you spoke of bitter people, it appears you are including **ETF** as she said some negatives things to **Lissa**. Are you also including **Polycarp** who went out of his why to provide some polite critiques? Maybe you should clarify who you think are the bitter people. **Jodi** holds no punches, does this make her Bitter? Etc. Jim ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/190 "2007-02-21T17:32:10Z")
[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore] The bitchiness in this thread is shameful. Several people ought to apologize to to the OP. Just goes to show, unhappy people resent those, like **Lissa** , who are well-adjusted and pleasant. I feel very sorry for some of the bitter people who have posted here. [/QUOTE] if you think what’s been posted in this thread amounts to shameful bitchiness, I’d suggest you stay out of the pit in general. **especially** when a poster posts a thread about themselves inviting comments. She asked, I answered. and, frankly a lot less cutting than many pit threads. (see, for example, **Lib’s** comment to **ETF** in this thread ) ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/191 "2007-02-21T17:37:16Z")
[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore] The bitchiness in this thread is shameful. Several people ought to apologize to to the OP. Just goes to show, unhappy people resent those, like **Lissa** , who are well-adjusted and pleasant. I feel very sorry for some of the bitter people who have posted here. [/QUOTE] Oh, fuck off you self-righteous harpy. There, that bitchy and bitter enough for you? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/192 "2007-02-21T18:53:17Z")
[QUOTE=wring] if you think what’s been posted in this thread amounts to shameful bitchiness, I’d suggest you stay out of the pit in general. **especially** when a poster posts a thread about themselves inviting comments. She asked, I answered. and, frankly a lot less cutting than many pit threads. (see, for example, **Lib’s** comment to **ETF** in this thread ) [/QUOTE] Why so bitter, **wring**? Why so unhappy? Why must you post so shamefully? Perhaps if you folllowed **Sonia’s** example and merely waded in at the end of threads to pass judgment on the participants, you too could be well-adjusted and pleasant, like she is. Poor, poor **wring**. Poor **mhendo**. You make the baby Jesus cry. You make **Sonia** shake her head in sorrow. This is how you make her feel ==\> ☹ Hang your heads in shame. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/193 "2007-02-21T18:59:07Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] Why so bitter, **wring**? Why so unhappy? Why must you post so shamefully? Perhaps if you folllowed **Sonia’s** example and merely waded in at the end of threads to pass judgment on the participants, you too could be well-adjusted and pleasant, like she is. Poor, poor **wring**. Poor **mhendo**. You make the baby Jesus cry. You make **Sonia** shake her head in sorrow. This is how you make her feel ==\> ☹ Hang your heads in shame. [/QUOTE] Now that is some damn good sarcasm. Are you sure you aren’t just bitter? 😉 Jim ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/194 "2007-02-21T18:59:25Z")
\*:: hangs head in shame. Starts to giggle uncontrollably Remembers she’s in the pit flashes the bird at nearby puppy::\* ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/195 "2007-02-21T19:04:40Z")
[QUOTE=you with the face] 1. I never knew of the existence of the “other place” until this thread and I’m frightened by the concept because it makes me think of scary basements where monsters live and parallel universes. Sounds like something that Stephen King would be writing about. Or M. Night Shalaman. [/QUOTE] Nothing scary. I won’t pretend that I don’t look from time to time. Very little of substance is posted but it is amusing from time to time. I think of it as a retarded threadspotting. I use it to find trainwrecks that I might have missed. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/196 "2007-02-21T19:21:37Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Now that is some damn good sarcasm. Are you sure you aren’t just bitter? 😉 Jim [/QUOTE] No, she’s just unhappy, and she doesn’t have any kittens around to kick. I was wondering why all the rain last night, but I guess the baby Jesus was having a good cry over all the meanies in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586/197 "2007-02-21T20:05:07Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] No, she’s just unhappy, and she doesn’t have any kittens around to kick. I was wondering why all the rain last night, but I guess the baby Jesus was having a good cry over all the meanies in this thread. [/QUOTE] Eh, no, the Baby Jesus was just really disappointed in the guys on _American Idol_. **Lissa** , I don’t have a beef with you (I like your dog pictures, and I enjoy reading your museum stories), and I’ve been following this thread from the beginning. I do think both sides have valid points, and I think it’s pretty admirable that you opened this thread in the first place. Take what you can from it. E. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-a-word-if-i-may/392586.md?page=9)