# Fellow Dopers, let's \*NOT\* have a gettogether. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947 "2002-08-08T13:11:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/1 "2002-08-08T13:11:38Z")
Inspired by the words of **msmith537** in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=128994&perpage=50&pagenumber=2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=128994&perpage=50&pagenumber=2) I can’t help but wonder if there are more Dopers out there who do not at all wish to meet other Dopers or meet other people they meet on-line. Now, I have had one or two meetings with folks I have met on the net that had less-than-spectacular conclusions, but I’ve since found that there are _so_ many Dopers who are worth meeting. Such nice people as those I spent just last Saturday with at NY Ren Faire. Are there those out there who are still flighty about meeting people they speak with on-line? If so, why? ---
**Author:** ![BrattiAtti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@BrattiAtti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrattiAtti)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/2 "2002-08-08T14:02:23Z")
I’m not against meeting people I like and have known for a substantial amount of time (a year or more, I think). I’m not against meeting people I don’t really know if it’s local and I’m taking somebody I trust with me. I am against meeting a single person who (whom?) I don’t know that well if I’m alone because s/he could be that serial murderer my mother always warned me about. For the most part, I go with my gut. It rarely lets me down. I try to carry at least one legal self-defense weapon with me anytime I meet anyone from online. I’m flighty anytime I meet someone I know from online because I don’t have the “protection” of my computer screen anymore. (If that makes sense. I think I’m flighty in general, so if this whole thing doesn’t make sense, know that I lost my train of thought a few sentences back.) ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/3 "2002-08-08T15:34:56Z")
_shrug_ I just don’t like people that much. I was very painfully shy when I was younger, and I’ve managed to get over that for the most part. I’m pleasant to people that I’ve just met, but it takes me about a week of daily exposure to them to remember who they are or really _look_ at them. As for never wanting to go to a dopefest… well, like most adult gatherings, they usually involve cigarettes and alcohol. Smoking gives me a throbbing headache that lasts even after a shower and change of clothes, and I just really don’t like to be around drinking. Most of the people that I talk to online I know in real life, but I have no drive at all to meet those that I don’t know. It’s somehow more suitably futuristic to have a friend that you know only by their words. More equal, too. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/4 "2002-08-08T19:32:17Z")
Fascinating. Well, at least the Internet seems to have evolved beyond just getting geeks to talk to other people without actually having to deal in social situations. After being forced to live in a small town with my mother, I really enjoy getting out to meet people whenever possible, and finding them on-line is veeeery easy. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/5 "2002-08-08T19:36:16Z")
Ooooh, when isn’t it? I am _so_ not there. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/6 "2002-08-08T21:34:42Z")
You get Cecil to attend a get-together, and _maybe_ I’ll show up. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/7 "2002-08-08T21:46:19Z")
I wouldn’t meet up with Internet people. Nope. Not me. ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/8 "2002-08-08T21:55:27Z")
_snort_ I have no problem with flying/driving to meet folks I’ve talked to online. I also apparantly have no problem getting naked with certain of them - according to my history at least. [sub]no, I’m not looking to get naked with anyone new, thank you[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/9 "2002-08-08T22:40:48Z")
I have never met anyone from online that wasn’t a Doper. So I guess you could say my experience in this area is limited. But… I have never met a Doper I wouldn’t want to meet again. IMHO, we have a very impressive bunch of people here. And I also think that the questionable people don’t stay…the level of intelligence here, and the level of intolerance for dishonest people, I think, makes them seek another place to “play.” I think it is fairly certain that if you meet a Doper, they are almost always exactly who you think they are. I did have a friend say that this isn’t true, based on her experience, but it certainly hasn’t been mine. At least as far as I know, anyway. 🙂 And I think I am a fairly good judge of character. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/10 "2002-08-09T02:36:10Z")
Gravity - don’t automatically assume that all parties having smoking and lots of alcohol. It depends on the group and the activity. The DFW dopefests have always been nearly smoke-free, if not completely so, and the NYC RenFest was smoke-free as well. We do drink, but it’s not the purpose of the evening, and I’ve never seen anyone get shit-faced drunk at our gatherings. Not to say that your other reasons aren’t valid, but you really can’t make assumptions about dopefests - and a lot of gatherings will make special accomodations for people who need them. And if you like dopers on-line, you’ll love us IRL! ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/11 "2002-08-09T02:40:34Z")
So far I’ve not gone to two Dopefests, the first because it was at a pub or a bar, the second because I just decided not to go at the last minute. I don’t mind meeting people individually, but I’m kind of funny about meeting groups of people I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/12 "2002-08-09T03:44:08Z")
Me? At a Doper gathering? Do I look like I wanna get my nose broken? ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/13 "2002-08-09T03:52:25Z")
I’m about to go to my first Dopefest (Bamadope IV), and I couldn’t be more excited. Mostly because one of my bestest on-line friends, **bobkitty** , is putting me up in her house for the weekend. It’ll be swell! I also met **Arden Ranger** , another of my bestest on-line friends, last Christmas, and I’d love to do it again; I felt somewhat constrained by my (now-ex) wife being there; I think she (my now-ex-wife) was somewhat uncomfortable about the whole thing. **Arden** , if you’re reading this, that’s the only reason I wasn’t more outgoing. Sorry. Since both of these fine ladies live more than 1000 miles from me, it’s obvious that I don’t mind traveling a fair distance to meet on-line friends (Dopers only, but that’s the only on-line community I’m involved with). However, the people I’d travel a significant distance to meet are people who I’ve talked with at length for a period of several months–people with whom I’ve shared intensely personal stuff. In short, friends. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/14 "2002-08-09T04:17:21Z")
I’d travel to meet Dopers. . .the only other internet community I’m involved with is [www.newgrounds.com](http://www.newgrounds.com). . .and I’d be a little hesitant to just pack up and go to one of their parties. But all the Dopers I talk to seem to be great, intellectual people. So, yeah, I’m all for it. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/15 "2002-08-09T04:25:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WV\_Woman \* > \*\*Me? At a Doper gathering? > > Do I look like I wanna get my nose broken? \*\* Well I don’t know where you live, but if you are ever able to attend a PNW or DFW DopeFest, I can guarantee you the your nose is safe. We are all pretty peaceful people, and I don’t know why you are worried anyway. Okay, assuming there IS a reason, if you hit the PNW DopeFests, I will protect you. If you hit the DFW DopeFests let me know and I will insure your protection. I have [sub]looks furtively around[/sub] contacts. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/16 "2002-08-09T05:02:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Well I don’t know where you live, but if you are ever able to attend a PNW or DFW DopeFest, I can guarantee you the your nose is safe. Yeah, but guard your fanny in Houston. **Zyada** , **Scotti** , **Lord Jim** , **Grace** , **Purrplebear** , **Pseiker** …, they’ve all barely made it out of here with their lives - some of 'em _several times(!!!)_. The locals - I don’t know, you gotta watch 'em - they’re HouDopers. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/17 "2002-08-09T05:25:09Z")
Now don’t be undermining my credibility, darlin’! [sub] you are, after all, one of my “contacts”)[/sub] Of course, I didn’t “garentee” her fanny, just her nose. HEY! No one attacked **my** fanny…IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY FANNY?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/18 "2002-08-09T05:29:02Z")
Furthermore, who is fanny anyway? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/19 "2002-08-09T05:45:09Z")
crimminy people, if you don’t want to meet other dopers, DON’T I don’t think its required. BTW, I’ve met **Gorgon Heap** and I found him to be funny and highly entertaining, and as an extra added bonus, he’s a really nice guy. Truly funnier than hell. He kills me. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947/20 "2002-08-09T06:15:48Z")
Yes dear, but think of all the wonderfullness they are missing? Just makes you want to cry. 😃 However, you are correct. Meet us or don’t, as you wish. Your loss if you don’t, but that’s okay too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-dopers-lets-not-have-a-gettogether/122947.md?page=2)