# Fellow lesbian dopers: could Ben Affleck "convert" you?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 9, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975 "2003-08-09T03:45:10Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/21 "2003-08-09T23:34:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Orange Skinner \*
> \*\*I’m straight, and I wouldn’t do Ben Affleck for _anything_. Actually, he might convert me the other way around. \*\*
Here here.
Ben Affleck is so freaking _bland_ it isn’t funny.
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/22 "2003-08-09T23:36:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*
> **Ben Affleck couldn’t convert me on the convertingest day of his life if he had an electric converting machine!**
Well . . . _Maybe_ if he had an electric converting machine . . .
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### Author:  [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/23 "2003-08-10T00:41:35Z")
How about a nuclear powered one that converts peoiple to convertiness so they can taste the convertin’ goodness?
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### Author:  [@skeptic\_ev](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skeptic_ev)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/24 "2003-08-10T01:16:24Z")
Straight girl chiming in: no way no how.
B Lo is way too plastic.
And overenthusiastic.
He’s not very … scholastic.
The changes would have to be drastic
Before he could melt my elastic.
I am SO sorry. I just could not help myself.
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### Author:  [@summerbreeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/summerbreeze)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/25 "2003-08-10T02:47:55Z")
Oooooh! **superstar**! Diane Lane!!!
Interesting how many of you agree about Boring Affleck. Anyone here think he’s Matt Damon’s honey?
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### Author:  [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/26 "2003-08-10T03:21:35Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by summerbreeze \*
> \*\*Oooooh! **superstar**! Diane Lane!!!
>
> Interesting how many of you agree about Boring Affleck. Anyone here think he’s Matt Damon’s honey? \*\*
Probably the only image that makes me all hot and bothered about him… but Monsieur Damon mostly. Mmmm “Good Will Hunting”
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2003, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/27 "2003-08-10T05:05:39Z")
**Priam** , wouldn’t that make it “Good _Willy_ Hunting”?
😃
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### Author:  [@mojave66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mojave66)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/28 "2003-08-10T05:45:38Z")
If Ben had a sex change operation and came out looking _and_ sounding like Lea Delaria, then maybe, juuuuust maybe I’d consider it.
Then again, nah. It’d still be _Ben Affleck_ for heaven’s sake.
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### Author:  [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/29 "2003-08-10T15:10:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Priam, wouldn’t that make it “Good Willy Hunting”?
Mnaaaaah
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/30 "2003-08-11T01:41:03Z")
I’m straight as straight could be, but even _I’d_ choose Lea Delaria over Ben Assfleck. He has about as much sex appeal as a loaf of bread.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ratty \*
> \*\*Please. I’m straight, and I wouldn’t sleep with this guy if I were using someone else’s vagina. \*\*
😃
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### Author:  [@summerbreeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/summerbreeze)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/31 "2003-08-11T03:30:47Z")
Asked my kids tonight – girl & three guys, all straight. Unanimous: Affleck is a geek.
They also wonder, why does this geek, who hasn’t had a successful movie in years, get money to make more, when _we_, who do our jobs well, are so unrewarded?
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### Author:  [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/32 "2003-08-11T06:06:20Z")
I was thinking about this thread earlier today, at it occured to me: I would rather sleep with John Goodman than Ben Affleck. I shared this sentiment with my mother, and she agreed. There is something about him that is _just not right_.
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/33 "2003-08-11T06:23:57Z")
I wouldn’t break from lesbianism for that boy if you told me that after him I could have Jodie Foster.
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### Author:  [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/34 "2003-08-11T06:37:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by summerbreeze \*
> They also wonder, why does this geek, who hasn’t had a successful movie in years, get money to make more, when _we_, who do our jobs well, are so unrewarded?
People figure that since he did a movie with Matt Damon, and was friends with Damon, that he must be good.
He’s been decent in a few things since then, but … no.
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### Author:  [@superstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superstar)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/35 "2003-08-11T08:26:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by andygirl \*
> \*\*I wouldn’t break from lesbianism for that boy if you told me that after him I could have Jodie Foster. \*\*
Stop it I’m trying to do some work here!
Now you’ve got me thinking… could I just lie there???
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### Author:  [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/36 "2003-08-11T11:09:25Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Orange Skinner \*
> \*\*I was thinking about this thread earlier today, at it occured to me: I would rather sleep with John Goodman than Ben Affleck. I shared this sentiment with my mother, and she agreed. There is something about him that is _just not right_. \*\*
I’m a straight guy and I’d rather sleep with John Goodman than Ben. At least John would be sensitive to my needs and there’d be some nice conversation afterwards.
I haven’t seen _Gigli_, and probably never will, but is the “lesbians just need a good man” message as insultingly patronizing as I imagine it is?
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### Author:  [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/37 "2003-08-11T13:03:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by andygirl \*
> \*\*I wouldn’t break from lesbianism for that boy if you told me that after him I could have Jodie Foster. \*\*
God. I’m a straight guy, and _I’d_ break from heterosexuality if after him I could have Jodie Foster.
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### Author:  [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/38 "2003-08-11T16:13:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sublight \*
> \*\*I haven’t seen _Gigli_, and probably never will, but is the “lesbians just need a good man” message as insultingly patronizing as I imagine it is? \*\*
Yes.
Particularly when whoever you are speaking to at the time is convinced that they are said good man.
Okay, I’ve revised my opinion- I would have sex with him if it meant I could have Jodi. Maybe. And only under certain circumstances, the logistics of which push the bounds of this forum.
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### Author:  [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/39 "2003-08-11T17:19:17Z")
For ages I thought Ben Affleck was Ben Stiller and was kind of impressed that he managed to score J Lo.
But then I saw Ben Affleck and was immediately struck by his complete and utter lack of anything remotely appealing. Ugh.
And speaking of Days of our Lives (which no one was but **tarragon** ) but this straight girl would _only_ sleep with Drake Hogestyn if it meant I could then sleep with [Kristian Alfonso](http://www.kristianonline.com/home.htm) - Hope Brady.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fellow-lesbian-dopers-could-ben-affleck-convert-you/193975/40 "2003-08-11T21:36:49Z")
I would ONLY have sex with him if afterwards I could have Ewan McGregor, Goran Visnjic and Noah Wyle all at the same time.
And even then, I’d fake an orgasm with Ben to get it over with quickly.
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