# FEMA Screwups - Again **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 22, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333 "2008-07-22T03:26:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/1 "2008-07-22T03:26:41Z")
Apparently, FEMA thought they’d delivered $85 million in aid to Katrina victims this year, but turns out they were wrong - it was more like $8.5 million. But here is where it is truly surreal. Over 7% of what FEMA thought they delivered in aid was in sporks. > **[Huge math error in Katrina supply giveaway - CNN.com](http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/21/katrina.supplies/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)** > > Federal officials vastly overestimated the value of hurricane relief supplies given away earlier this year, the Federal Emergency Management Agency reported Monday. Because what every recovering city needs three years after a hurricane is plastic cutlery. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/2 "2008-07-22T04:09:03Z")
And they’re paying a million dollars a year to store this stuff. Why is this still in the hands of FEMA? This sounds like they’re still completly irresponsible. ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/3 "2008-07-22T10:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=Dangerosa] Apparently, FEMA thought they’d delivered $85 million in aid to Katrina victims this year, but turns out they were wrong - it was more like $8.5 million. But here is where it is truly surreal. Over 7% of what FEMA thought they delivered in aid was in sporks. > **[Huge math error in Katrina supply giveaway - CNN.com](https://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/21/katrina.supplies/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)** > > Federal officials vastly overestimated the value of hurricane relief supplies given away earlier this year, the Federal Emergency Management Agency reported Monday. Because what every recovering city needs three years after a hurricane is plastic cutlery. [/QUOTE] If life has taught me one thing, and it hasn’t, it’s that you can never have enough sporks. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/4 "2008-07-22T11:14:03Z")
Alright chillins, gather 'round Gramps, I’m gonna tell you a story; once upon a time FEMA had this director named [James Lee Witt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Lee_Witt), and lemme tell you, he was COMPETENT! And he turned that agency around lickety split! Then, that idiot Bush came along and appointed that Heckuva Job Brownie fella and FEMA went right back to being a cesspool of incompetent hacks…Don’t laugh…it’s as true as I’m sittin here… ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/5 "2008-07-22T11:19:50Z")
$36,000 is 7% of $18.5 million?? I think the OP should put in an application at FEMA. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/6 "2008-07-22T11:24:29Z")
And if you’re going off of what they actually _thought_, then it is actually much worse. They thought they were delivering $36 million worth of sporks in an aid package of $85 million. That’s over 40%!!! Over 40% of their anticipated aid package was SPORKS!! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/7 "2008-07-22T11:48:50Z")
They needed all those sporks to cut through all that ice. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/8 "2008-07-22T12:13:23Z")
[QUOTE=Bear\_Nenno] $36,000 is 7% of $18.5 million?? I think the OP should put in an application at FEMA. [/QUOTE] Over 7% of what FEMA THOUGHT they delivered in aid was sporks. ($6.3 million of $85 million) ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/9 "2008-07-22T12:32:52Z")
_“For example, each spork was assigned the value of an entire case, inflating the original estimated value of the supplies a thousandfold to $36 million from $36,000. Packs of toilet paper originally estimated to be worth $1.5 million dropped to about $18,000, and plastic cutlery kits, from $6.3 million to about $25,000.”_ When I read that paragraph the first time it looked like there were three items… sporks, toilet paper, and plastic cutlery. Guess not. So where do I apply for FEMA? ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/10 "2008-07-23T00:34:21Z")
Man, these FEMA managers are brainless fools! Not an ounce of common sense…and (apparently) the systrem is set up to punish people who exhibit common sense. Sorta like the gov. lab I once worked for-they produced nothing but papaer…specifications revised several times, with no mportant changes…yep-what a stupid agency! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/11 "2008-07-23T01:41:14Z")
[QUOTE=Bear\_Nenno] When I read that paragraph the first time it looked like there were three items… sporks, toilet paper, and plastic cutlery. Guess not. So where do I apply for FEMA? [/QUOTE] You don’t. Their agents are constantly on the lookout for the least talented and most incompetent people they can find, and then they are recruited in a combination secret initiation/frontal lobotomy ceremony, sort of like the first reel of _Men In Black_ as interpreted by The Three Stooges. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/12 "2008-07-23T01:52:36Z")
[QUOTE=tagos] If life has taught me one thing, and it hasn’t, it’s that you can never have enough sporks. [/QUOTE] I only have one spork, thank you. It, however, is [titanium](http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/8ace/). ---
**Author:** ![paffinity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@paffinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paffinity)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/13 "2008-07-23T02:35:21Z")
It was actually worth 8.5 million, not 18.5 million. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/14 "2008-07-23T02:46:56Z")
If they’d issued sporks to every able-bodied citizens early on, they could have patched the levees. Which reminds me… when I hear about survival packs that people should have in case of emergencies, they never seem to mention sporks. How odd, since getting sporks to survivors seems to be one of the government’s highest priorities. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/15 "2008-07-23T12:01:18Z")
People do not realize that FEMA’s main job is migrating the effects of a nuclear strike, Continuity of government and all that. Sporks they cannot handle, but not to worry, a major series of nuclear strikes they can deal with. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/16 "2008-07-23T13:46:03Z")
Spork Pork ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/17 "2008-07-23T14:36:00Z")
[QUOTE=Paul in Saudi] People do not realize that FEMA’s main job is migrating the effects of a nuclear strike, Continuity of government and all that. [/QUOTE] That was their mission back during the Cold War, but post-1990 they’ve been transformed into an agency which is supposed to provide general relief to disasters natural or otherwise, like, apparently, a sudden unavailability of plastic sporkware, which we must all agree would be a catastrophe of unimagineable proportions. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/18 "2008-07-23T15:19:33Z")
The sporks are to defend New Orleans from invasion, and can double as a head scratcher when they hand them out. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/19 "2008-07-23T15:21:52Z")
Nope, the present administration takes continuity of government very seriously. Lots of relocation of agencies into West (by God!) Virginia and so on. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/20 "2008-07-23T16:18:53Z")
At this point it would only be news if FEMA did something right. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333.md?page=2)