# FEMA Screwups - Again

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 22, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333 "2008-07-22T03:26:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/21 "2008-07-23T16:37:33Z")

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Every HACK hired by FEMA will wind up with free healthcare and a huge pension. How long the American taxpayer can continue to pay for this is open to question. but think about it-and there are HUNDREDS of FEMA-like organizations! 😕

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/22 "2008-07-23T16:37:54Z")

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[QUOTE=Paul in Saudi]  
Sporks they cannot handle, but not to worry, a major series of nuclear strikes they can deal with.  
[/QUOTE]

I’m inclined to believe that any agency that is unable to correctly assign (and then measure!) its disposable utensil budget is probably not going to handle a nuclear strike of any magnitude.

“Mr. President, the contingency plan for dealing with fallout is now in effect. We are distributing golf umbrellas to all citizens in the affected areas.”

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**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/23 "2008-07-23T16:59:31Z")

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“Well, we were going to deliver golf umbrellas to the affected areas, but we messed up and ordered VW Golfs.”

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/24 "2008-07-23T17:10:34Z")

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[QUOTE=Dangerosa]  
“Well, we were going to deliver golf umbrellas to the affected areas, but we messed up and ordered VW Golfs.”  
[/QUOTE]

“Then VW called and said they’d changed the name of the US-market Golf to the Rabbit, so we now have $4.2 billion dollars’ worth of fluffy bunnies. Suggest we fit them with Geiger counters and release.”

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**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/25 "2008-07-23T18:49:17Z")

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And while we wait for the approval for this plan, we will store the bunnies without food in this unheated, non-airconditioned warehouse on the other side of the country from the fallout.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fema-screwups-again/457333/26 "2008-07-23T22:05:06Z")

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Deadly Ninja Throwing Sporks™.

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