# Female Dopers, your opinion, please **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 18, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208 "2008-11-18T00:39:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2008, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/101 "2008-11-20T02:21:57Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > It’s not like he actually _said_ all that. He came here and asked if it was a good idea. > > On the other hand, I totally see where you’re coming from. Man, that Beauty’s got some fabulous tits. Oh I know he didn’t say that, but he _did_ ask. It’s hard to explain why it’s irritating without having everyone jump in to pick apart every choice of word. But, the good thing is that we’re all different so he’s bound to get good reactions and bad. I just thought it was funny that he came in with these grandiose notions of **B** eauty for beauty’s sake and when you really look at it, it’s just the same old “middle age man leers at young woman” that has been going on forever. Obviously, opinions vary 😉 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/102 "2008-11-21T00:10:01Z")
I think it kind of depends. I some random dude (or dudette) tells me he thinks I’m hot randomly, no problem. Nice even. I’ve never had the desire to smack anyone when they’ve said something like that. Regardless of their age. The way the OP worded it? Creepy as hell. It’s almost like he’s going to follow up “You have a beautiful face.” with “For that reason I would like to keep your freshly frozen head in my freezer for all eternity.” Also, any woman who believes for even 2 minutes that every straight guy she knows hasn’t thought of her while jerking off at least once is deluded. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/103 "2008-11-21T02:30:32Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > If it’s just beauty, platonically, then do you also find yourself moved by and wanting to compliment attractive men? I can’t say that I do but that doesn’t mean that I can’t or don’t appreciate physical attractiveness in a man. I can admire a good physique or a guy who is handsome without feeling any attraction at all. Envious maybe, but not attractive. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/104 "2008-11-21T02:34:01Z")
> [@](#): > > I just thought it was funny that he came in with these grandiose notions of Beauty for beauty’s sake and when you really look at it, it’s just the same old “middle age man leers at young woman” that has been going on forever. I am well past middle age, thank you, and I don’t leer at anyone of any age. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/105 "2008-11-21T02:41:23Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I am well past middle age, thank you, and I don’t leer at anyone of any age. Of course I meant every single middle aged man since the dawn of time. Good thing you came in to let me know I was wrong so I can now be aware there is one exception in the history of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/106 "2008-11-21T02:48:25Z")
I can’t wait 'til I hit middle age so I can start leering too! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/107 "2008-11-21T03:04:03Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Are you really all that comfortable with someone - regardless of age - basically getting low-level sexual gratification from looking at you out in public? Seriously, it’s probably my mother’s radical feminism speaking through me, but doesn’t it make you feel objectified and just…oogey? I believe I made it quite clear that my admiration was in no way sexual. I am a realist, I hope, and I am also 68 damn years old. I in no way delude myself that a twenty something beautiful young woman is going to find me sexy. If you think that an admiring glance objectifies you, you just might be mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/108 "2008-11-21T03:07:20Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Of course I meant every single middle aged man since the dawn of time. Good thing you came in to let me know I was wrong so I can now be aware there is one exception in the history of the world. You aren’t particularly good with sarcasm and it doesn’t become you. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/109 "2008-11-21T03:15:49Z")
I wish I hadn’t gotten myself involved in this thread. I feel like I am being charged with crimes I haven’t committed. From now on when I see a particularly beautiful woman, I am going to try my best to just not see her so that no one can accuse me of being a dirty old man who intentionally ogles women for the low-grade sexual kick it gives me. Better yet, as soon as I get out of my damn car at the mall, I will just put my glasses in my pocket. The whole damned world will then become a fuzzy blur and I won’t notice individuals at all. Of course, I won’t be able to find what I wanted and I want be able to find my car until I put my glasses on again. I just hope there won’t be a good looking woman walking past when I do. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/110 "2008-11-21T03:21:16Z")
I’ve had a few young guys (25 and under) tell me I’m beautiful. It’s awkward but usually not creepy. I figure the guy was hoping for conversation or to ask me for my number or something like that. If it was a leering 40+ man who complimented me I would assume the same - and that would be a little creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/111 "2008-11-21T03:36:34Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Seriously? Are you seriously asking if there’s a way to walk up to a total stranger twenty years younger than you, ogle her, and you think it’s going to cheer her up? I think you’re taking the poetic flair with which he wrote his OP a little too seriously. I don’t think he wants to ogle them, I think he just wants to tell them he finds them beautiful and be on his way. I know exactly where he’s coming from, too. I’ve seen women who are so breathtakingly beautiful that I just want to say it to her. Not because I want to get in her pants, but because beauty like that deserves to be acknowledged. > [@](#): > > If some random forty-year-old leering dude walked up to me and made some comment about my body, face, hair, eyes, whatever, I’d be extremely inclined to kick them in the nads. I’m not here for your viewing pleasure, you freak. Keep your eyes and your perverted comments to yourself. And people wonder why some guys have trouble talking to girls. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Libre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@Libre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Libre)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/112 "2008-11-21T04:20:01Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Also, any woman who believes for even 2 minutes that every straight guy she knows hasn’t thought of her while jerking off at least once is deluded. Please tell me this is sarcasm. I do have a mother, you know! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/113 "2008-11-21T04:21:36Z")
> [@Libre](#): > > Please tell me this is sarcasm. I do have a mother, you know! And siblings! Come on, siblings don’t do this, right? ---
**Author:** ![Libre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@Libre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Libre)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/114 "2008-11-21T04:26:30Z")
Alice, my great aunt would like to wash your mouth out with soap. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/115 "2008-11-21T04:47:55Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I wish I hadn’t gotten myself involved in this thread. I feel like I am being charged with crimes I haven’t committed. From now on when I see a particularly beautiful woman, I am going to try my best to just not see her so that no one can accuse me of being a dirty old man who intentionally ogles women for the low-grade sexual kick it gives me. Better yet, as soon as I get out of my damn car at the mall, I will just put my glasses in my pocket. The whole damned world will then become a fuzzy blur and I won’t notice individuals at all. Of course, I won’t be able to find what I wanted and I want be able to find my car until I put my glasses on again. I just hope there won’t be a good looking woman walking past when I do. Or you could, you know, stop taking every word written about people in general as the gospel truth about yourself. If the shoe doesn’t fit, why are you making it such a personal thing? > [@LouisB](#): > > You aren’t particularly good with sarcasm and it doesn’t become you. Excellent, anything I can do to be unattractive to the old guys can’t be all bad. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/116 "2008-11-21T11:12:27Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > Not because I want to get in her pants, but because beauty like that deserves to be acknowledged. I think, if a person is _that_ beautiful, they’ve probably heard it before. A lot. Chalk me up for “it’s really hard not to be creepy about it, and you probably won’t succeed, so the best option is not to say anything.” **LouisB** – you asked for opinions, you got some. I’m not sure what you were looking for or expecting! (FWIW, I was amused by **Sleeps With Butterflies** ’ post and felt the same thing.) ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/117 "2008-11-21T11:40:33Z")
> [@Tracy\_Lord](#): > > I think, if a person is _that_ beautiful, they’ve probably heard it before. A lot. Chalk me up for “it’s really hard not to be creepy about it, and you probably won’t succeed, so the best option is not to say anything.” > > **LouisB** – you asked for opinions, you got some. I’m not sure what you were looking for or expecting! > (FWIW, I was amused by **Sleeps With Butterflies** ’ post and felt the same thing.) I don’t recall asking for opinions. I believe that was the OP who did that. I ain’t the OP. Now that a new day has dawned, I, too, find **Sleeps With Butterflies** posts amusing and to the point; I do take myself too damn seriously and I’m not sure why. I guess I’m turning into a whiny old goat but I do hope I may be allowed to continue being appreciative of beauty. I’ll just have to look at non-pornographic photographs instead of actual women. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/118 "2008-11-21T12:01:01Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > Now admittedly I’m no great shakes in the looks department, and in the last decade or so I’ve only gotten spontaneous expressions of admiration from drunk, mentally disturbed and/or homeless men, Are you me? (sometimes, they’re high, too.) And being noticed by someone who is unconstrained by societal mores is creepy. The OP gave off some seriously creepy vibes. ---
**Author:** ![Brandon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f08c70/32.png) [@Brandon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brandon)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/119 "2008-11-21T12:42:37Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I think you’re taking the poetic flair with which he wrote his OP a little too seriously. I don’t think it was poetic flair, I think it was lack of experience with women. > [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > I’ve seen women who are so breathtakingly beautiful that I just want to say it to her. Not because I want to get in her pants, but because beauty like that deserves to be acknowledged. Why do you want to tell them? Why does their attractiveness have to be acknowledged out loud? > [@Mosier](#): > > From my observations, attractive females do not like being acknowledged as attractive, except by other attractive people. Unless you happen to be a hot guy yourself, expect an “ick” more often than a “thank you”. To elicit an “ick” you have to be doing something wrong. I’d guess if someone said “ick” to a non-creepy compliment then then you aren’t coming correct. Even then, for someone to say “ick” in response to a compliment, they would have to be seriously lacking in social awareness. > [@Dublin11](#): > > I agree with that. > If Joe Bloggs Mr Ordinary says anything remotely complimentary to a pretty woman, she’ll more than likely think “Who does he think he is? Cheeky sod”, give him a dirty look and then moan about it to her mates. > If David Beckam’s more erudite brother said exactly the same thing to the same woman, she’d smile at him, maybe have a chat with him and more than likely be delighted. And tell all her mates with much delight. Couldn’t disagree more. I look nothing like David Beckam (the only way we could be confused is if he got smacked a few times in the face with a shovel after going on a week-long bender) and I have genuinely brightened the days of women, beautiful or otherwise, with compliments. I don’t know, maybe flattery isn’t really a common sense thing; or maybe I am deluding myself, and I’ve left a trail of disgusted and violated people in my complimenting wake. What I want to know is why some feel the need to compliment only those who are beautiful? The average people, the ones who look like they are overly self-conscious, they are the ones who you can really bring a glow to and they likely need it more than someone who leaves fellas’ jaws dragging. If your motives are just to bring a lil’ shine to people’s lives, then why the focus on gorgeous folk (women in particular)? ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/120 "2008-11-21T13:01:09Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I don’t recall asking for opinions. I believe that was the OP who did that. I ain’t the OP. :smack: Sorry! I didn’t bother clicking back three pages and I made an assumption based on your reactions. Apologies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208.md?page=7)