# Female Dopers, your opinion, please **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 18, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208 "2008-11-18T00:39:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/161 "2008-12-04T14:38:31Z")
Without reading the last two pages of arguments/conversations I have an anecdote to share. This past weekend I had the exact experience discussed in some of these posts. Walked into a McDonald’s downstate, and a man who was at least _thirty_ years my senior said, “You have very beautiful eyes.” He didn’t even wait for a response, just said it in passing, and by the time I realized he meant _me_, he was already out the door. I’m 33, and that was incredibly flattering and made me smile all day. And yes, if I had been twenty-three I would probably have felt greatly different. I am much more confident of myself now and in a much better position to receive a random compliment. So I am all for random compliments, and intend to continue giving them, and giving them to girls, too. Someone here suggested the method of complimenting a specific aspect of their appearance; that is what I plan to do. If it makes people feel skeevy, I’m sorry, but most people I know like compliments. And maybe if more women complimented each other we wouldn’t always be so darn bitchy to each other. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/162 "2008-12-04T15:23:11Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > My idea – make a card. Don’t include any personal information, nothing to suggest you have any ideas about forming any kind of relationship. > > “You are incredibly beautiful. I felt the need to tell you this in a manner that gives you some assurance I’m not hitting on you. Have a lovely day. You’ve certainly brightened mine.” > > Hand it to them, walk away without a word. > > Have I ever done this? No. I get this and I’m thinking a) You’ve got a stack of these that you hand out or b) You’ve been watching me for while, long enough to think about making a card for me. ---
**Author:** ![ebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@ebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebb)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/163 "2008-12-04T19:37:35Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > I get this and I’m thinking a) You’ve got a stack of these that you hand out or b) You’ve been watching me for while, long enough to think about making a card for me. The trick is to make the card from letters cut out of magazines. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/164 "2008-12-04T20:05:54Z")
Question / observation: How much of the inappropriateness of a non-young (i.e., middle aged or older) guy commenting to a beautiful stranger comes from socialization and evolutionary tendencies? - By the time a guy gets older, he has either risen to the top and taken a position of power - become an Alpha Male in some form or fashion - or has demonstrated that he will most likely NOT be an alpha male - When encountered on the street, there is often no easy way to determine alpha-male status - and since the non-young guy is approaching the woman, he comes across as needy, which increases the possibility (in a split-second judgment on the part of the woman) that he is NOT an alpha male - So a woman’s position is to IMMEDIATELY dismiss the approach as “ick” because not only is he a stranger and not within her normal “mating criteria” (again, boiling this down to animalistic evolutionary biology, if I may), but he is coming across as a non-desirable, non-alpha male. Case closed. - If the woman was able to quickly ascertain that the man was clearly an Alpha Male - some visual clue or something, like pulling up in a Ferrari or being George Clooney (who is old enough for Ick but would never, ever hear it because he is Alpha on so many levels) - she is more likely to modify how she responds to the attention. FWIW, I am male, 45, would never, ever think to say anything to a beautiful stranger on the street although I find myself wanting to daily. As a senior executive at a small company, I can say that women respond to me differently when they are fully aware of my position in my small little business world. Weird but true. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/165 "2008-12-04T20:45:21Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Question / observation: > > How much of the inappropriateness of a non-young (i.e., middle aged or older) guy commenting to a beautiful stranger comes from socialization and evolutionary tendencies? Little to none. Unless you mean being told from a young age not to talk to strangers (especially strange men). Getting honked at by a guy in a Ferrari or groped by a guy in a YSL suit isn’t really a treat (though I have definitely noticed that they seem to feel entitled to it a little more than the homeless guys who hit on me, so perhaps they do get away with it more). ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208/166 "2008-12-04T20:49:13Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Little to none. Unless you mean being told from a young age not to talk to strangers (especially strange men). Getting honked at by a guy in a Ferrari or groped by a guy in a YSL suit isn’t really a treat (though I have definitely noticed that they seem to feel entitled to it a little more than the homeless guys who hit on me, so perhaps they do get away with it more). To be clear, a pig is a pig, regardless of station. That is not what I was trying to speak to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-dopers-your-opinion-please/473208.md?page=8)