# Female huggers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2021, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145 "2021-09-05T20:33:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/81 "2021-09-08T17:32:16Z")
When you hug someone, are you paying attention to where you genitals are? ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/82 "2021-09-08T17:49:37Z")
Sure. I make sure my genitals don’t press up against the person I’m hugging by leaning over so that my hips aren’t touching theirs. And the same is true with most women and their breasts. Most women don’t press their breasts firmly against the person they are hugging. But that’s not true for all women. I’ve been hugged firmly enough that I could feel her breasts squishing against my chest. I don’t think they meant anything sexual by it, but it definitely wasn’t the same feeling as if her shoulders were pressing firmly against me. ---
**Author:** ![peccavi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peccavi/32/388_2.png) [@peccavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peccavi)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/83 "2021-09-08T18:00:03Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > When you hug someone, are you paying attention to where you genitals are? I am always aware of where my genitals are. That one time I misplaced them and had to retrace my steps was awful! ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/84 "2021-09-08T18:04:49Z")
So [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iJU-S8T0-k) is about you? ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/85 "2021-09-08T18:27:59Z")
They’re always in the last place you look! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/86 "2021-09-08T21:35:07Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > Sure. I make sure my genitals don’t press up against the person I’m hugging by leaning over so that my hips aren’t touching theirs. And the same is true with most women and their breasts. Most women don’t press their breasts firmly against the person they are hugging. But that’s not true for all women. I’ve been hugged firmly enough that I could feel her breasts squishing against my chest. I don’t think they meant anything sexual by it, but it definitely wasn’t the same feeling as if her shoulders were pressing firmly against me. That sounds so awkward to me. I’ve never had my genitals touch another person while hugging, and it’s just natural. I’d have to be stepping on their feet for either of our genitals to be close enough to actually touch. As for the breast thing, you seem to be describing the A-frame hug, and those have always felt less sincere to me. A hug involves you chest touching there’s, or it doesn’t really feel like a full hug, if you ask me. This is true when hugging men, and when hugging women. I’ve gotten some nice half-hugs, mind you, like one where someone kinda laid their head on my chest. But what feels good about a hug, to me at least, is the embrace. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/87 "2021-09-08T21:35:25Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > [@Bullitt](#): > > > > If you are female, have you hugged another woman who seems to prominently thrust her breasts against you and into the hug? Why do some women do that? > > Women who have large breasts have large breasts. We can’t exactly take them off because you find them awkward. > > I have certainly hugged women whose breasts made contact with me, and I have certainly hugged people, male and female, in such a way that my breasts made contact with them; because unless I do an A-frame hug my breasts are going to touch you if I hug you. This is not because I’m trying to shove them at anyone. It’s just because they exist. This. And honestly, I have no idea if women I’ve hugged have pressed their breasts against my chest. Um, probably? Because that’s how hugs work? But I’ve never really noticed one way or the other. What’s weirder is that my dentist sometimes cradles my head such that my head is pressed into her ample bosom. She seems to be completely unaware of her breasts, and is focused on the back of my mouth. (This has happened when she was drilling my wisdom teeth, for instance.) The first time she did it, I realized that no one had held me like that since I was very small, and my mother cradled me. I wonder how her male clients feel about it, though. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/88 "2021-09-08T21:36:10Z")
> [@Somethingwitty1](#): > > Am I the only guy who is uncomfortable with females I am not close with hugging me? I’m curious how you feel about males you are not close with hugging you. Or maybe that doesn’t happen to you? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/89 "2021-09-09T00:47:43Z")
> [@peccavi](#): > > That one time I misplaced them and had to retrace my steps was awful! As the tracer you thought it was bad, but imagine how bad it was for the dick tracee! ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/90 "2021-09-09T01:02:02Z")
That does it, no more hugs for you! ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/91 "2021-09-09T01:50:16Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > you seem to be describing the A-frame hug, and those have always felt less sincere to me Agreeing with that. I am not a random or casual hugger. In a work context, I don’t usually even like to be touched, let alone hugged; and there are very few circumstances in which I’d hug a casual acquaintance. But there are some people who I do hug; and when I do, I’m going to actually hug them. The A-frame isn’t really a hug, to me; it seems to me to be a gesture made by people who think they ought to hug each other, but don’t really want to. Or possibly one made by people who think they ought not to hug each other, but do sort of want to. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/92 "2021-09-09T01:53:05Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever done an a-frame hug. But I agree that if I am going to hug someone, I hope it is a real hug. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/93 "2021-09-09T04:33:48Z")
OTOH, I knew an elderly woman who was a V-frame hugger, she always led with the pelvis. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/94 "2021-09-09T05:56:22Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I’m curious how you feel about males you are not close with hugging you. Or maybe that doesn’t happen to you? I wouldn’t hug before the second date. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/95 "2021-09-09T07:02:49Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I wonder how her male clients feel about it, though. I’ve encountered similar things in that type of environment: older nurses holding my hand under their arm to take my blood pressure, dental hygienists who had to get really close and were practically sitting on me, a young hairstylist who would stand in some, um, awkward places and spend a whole lot of time getting everything exactly right. When I was a teen boy, I had the, um, teen boy physical reaction. But I didn’t find it unpleasant, and realized it would make things much more awkward if I said anything. As I’ve gotten older, I’m no longer on a hair trigger, and the reaction is more like “huh” with a mix of the personal touch feeling nice. This is actually part of why I was surprised that this sort of incidental touching makes some people uncomfortable. I figured the reactions would either be nothing or somewhat pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/96 "2021-09-09T14:49:45Z")
See, it never would have occurred to me that breasts and genitals were in play when hugging, dancing, drilling teeth, suturing lacerations, or performing the Heimlich manoeuvre. Now I hope I can delete that entire train of thought. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/97 "2021-09-09T16:08:35Z")
Yeah, I have to admit, that’s a bit my reaction, too. I mean, I know they’re there, but my mind doesn’t parse it as “boobies touching my chest!” but more embrace the feeling of a whole body touch. ---
**Author:** ![Somethingwitty1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/somethingwitty1/32/8899_2.png) [@Somethingwitty1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somethingwitty1)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2021, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/98 "2021-09-09T23:44:27Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I’m still trying to picture in my mind what this means. > [@Bullitt](#): > > It’s a pulling back, while hugging, so that her boobs make less contact. And your arms aren’t really hugging, and pulling her tighter towards you. They’re around her back, barely making contact, just patting her on the back. I’m not sure if this is a male/female thing or a hugger/non-hugger thing. Some people seem to know exactly what I’m talking about in the OP, some do do not. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2021, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145/99 "2021-09-10T00:20:00Z")
I think those of us who live in places where it’s unusual to hug people we don’t know well (or any coworker) don’t have direct experience with this. I thought one of the descriptions (post 70, with an illustration ofthe “a-frame hug”) was pretty explicit, but I was wondering, too. I’m pretty sure I’ve never experienced that, from either side. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-huggers/950145.md?page=4)