# Female Sex Tourism **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 9, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575 "2013-01-09T02:39:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/41 "2013-01-09T20:59:39Z")
> [@TheCrow](#): > > For me, the video is unbelievable. > … > I am not going to use big fancy words in a poetic style to express my shock. But please know that I am really shocked. I spend tons of money each month to have sex with a woman (prostitute, plus I have never dated) but these guys in the video take the women and plus they get some gifts even some money. You, a man who pays a lot to have sex with women, are shocked that some women pay to have sex with men? I’m confused, please know that I’m really confused. There are lot’s of reasons why a person might avail themselves of the services of a prostitute: poor social skills, annoying personality, fugliness, lax personal hygiene, just being a loser, plain old unsexiness, etc. Surely, these “barriers to entry”, as it were, are not confined to men. Do you imagine that women are so psychologically different from men, and so uniform in their attitudes, that they are all repelled by the idea of male prostitution, even though some of them can’t find a desirable free sex partner? Would you have sex for free with every single woman you see walking down the street? If the answer is no, I think you’ve got no reason to be shocked that some women pay for sex. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/42 "2013-01-09T21:38:20Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I’ve never understood why someone goes to a foreign country to patronize prostitutes, I recall there being plenty in the USA. Probably more racially diverse too in the USA. For female sex tourists, at least, I don’t think it’s just about patronizing a prostitute. My understanding is that it is more about the whole story- going off to an beautiful tropical paradise, meeting an exotic, well built, engaging young man, dancing with him all night and maybe making love on the beach after. It’s a nice little romance to add spice to your vacation story. I doubt there is a lot of explicit payment like you’d find in a brothel. Rather, the male gets a few nights of top-end accommodations and entertainment (meals, drinks, club admission) on the house, and probably some nice “gifts” at the conclusion of the trip. If he gets lucky, he may be able to turn some of these relationships into a continuing patronage, where she’ll send him money and gifts to "help with his schooling’ and maybe make the occasional visit. If you can get a few of these going, you’ll be in good shape. These ladies are smart, older career women, so I’m sure they know what is going on. But there is _just_ enough plausible deniability that they can think of it as the good time they had with that hot rasta, rather than the time they visited a prostitute. For the women, my understanding is that while it is about having sex with a much more attractive partner than you’d be able to find at home, it’s also about the whole story. These guys are more than eye candy, they are skilled conversationalists and part of their hustle is to appear to be fully engaged and having fun. Another part of their hustle is unlike the local randos, the never push for sex or make their patron uncomfortable or threatened. Certainly they know to heat it up when it’s time to heat it up, but they’ll also patiently spend the day on the beach listening to you about your job or your divorce or whatever. Indeed, I’ve had people tell me that picking up a male companion for the length of your trip can provide security in the sense that it keeps random dudes from harassing you. So I don’t think these women are thinking “I’m gonna go to Ghana and bang a prostitute” as much as “I’m gonna go to Ghana, and if I happen to have a romance, hey, I’m single! And if that romance seems a little implausible, well, it’s all part of the adventure.” ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/43 "2013-01-09T22:22:33Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > For female sex tourists, at least, I don’t think it’s just about patronizing a prostitute. My understanding is that it is more about the whole story- going off to an beautiful tropical paradise, meeting an exotic, well built, engaging young man, dancing with him all night and maybe making love on the beach after. It’s a nice little romance to add spice to your vacation story. I doubt there is a lot of explicit payment like you’d find in a brothel. Rather, the male gets a few nights of top-end accommodations and entertainment (meals, drinks, club admission) on the house, and probably some nice “gifts” at the conclusion of the trip. If he gets lucky, he may be able to turn some of these relationships into a continuing patronage, where she’ll send him money and gifts to "help with his schooling’ and maybe make the occasional visit. If you can get a few of these going, you’ll be in good shape. These ladies are smart, older career women, so I’m sure they know what is going on. But there is _just_ enough plausible deniability that they can think of it as the good time they had with that hot rasta, rather than the time they visited a prostitute. > > For the women, my understanding is that while it is about having sex with a much more attractive partner than you’d be able to find at home, it’s also about the whole story. These guys are more than eye candy, they are skilled conversationalists and part of their hustle is to appear to be fully engaged and having fun. Another part of their hustle is unlike the local randos, the never push for sex or make their patron uncomfortable or threatened. Certainly they know to heat it up when it’s time to heat it up, but they’ll also patiently spend the day on the beach listening to you about your job or your divorce or whatever. Indeed, I’ve had people tell me that picking up a male companion for the length of your trip can provide security in the sense that it keeps random dudes from harassing you. > > So I don’t think these women are thinking “I’m gonna go to Ghana and bang a prostitute” as much as “I’m gonna go to Ghana, and if I happen to have a romance, hey, I’m single! And if that romance seems a little implausible, well, it’s all part of the adventure.” Based on what I know of my friends in the Gambia, this is absolutely right. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/44 "2013-01-09T23:10:20Z")
Just an aside, whenever they film **The Roman Spring of Mrs Stone** they cast Vivian Leigh or Helen Mirren. Why not somebody like Vivian Vance or Frances Baiver? ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/45 "2013-01-10T01:30:26Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > I didn’t think your post sounded all that bad, Naïve. But not necessarily misogynistic. > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Am I the only person here that saw Sex & the City 2? Oh, I am? Shit. Maybe the only one to admit it? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/46 "2013-01-10T03:38:51Z")
> [@Yookeroo](#): > > Naïve. But not necessarily misogynistic. Agreed. From my admittedly sparse reading on the subject, **Even Sven** has it right. It’s a vacation romance with a guaranteed happy ending. Big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/47 "2013-01-10T06:35:30Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Agreed. > From my admittedly sparse reading on the subject, **Even Sven** has it right. It’s a vacation romance with a guaranteed happy ending. Big deal. So a BFE in other words. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/48 "2013-01-10T07:00:26Z")
Men cannot stand to see or hear about ‘their’ women doing those things. It’s emasculating. ---
**Author:** ![Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Throatwarbler_Mangrove)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/49 "2013-01-10T07:14:52Z")
I guess I just gang out with the wrong circles but do people(of either gender) really just state as a matter of fact on facebook, to people they know, that they are going to other countries and paying for sex? Like this is a thing that normal people do? ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/50 "2013-01-10T08:48:12Z")
When there’s a big income disparity, a large gray area exists between professional and amateur sex partnership. I visited Sihanoukville, Cambodia a few years ago. (Ochheuteal Beach – I guess there are significant cultural differences among the beaches in this town.) Lots of handsome young Australian men, and pretty young European women. I said to the guys “I wish I were half my age! You must be having lots of fun with the European lasses!” The answer was No – they’re all here for the young Cambodian men. :smack: Paying more attention, I saw he was right. There were even German magazines where the Cambodians guy advertised! Perhaps I’m naive but I’d guess the women were paying little if any cash … but doubtless picked up the tabs at restaurants, etc. Four Australian boys were there, taking a year off between High School and College. They had three hot Cambodian chicks. (A 4th Australian lad apparently swung from the other tree.) I was told that those Cambodian girls were well off, and probably financing the boys! ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/51 "2013-01-10T10:06:37Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > Women like to have sex with hot young men. I don’t see any reason why that is surprising. OP, the fact that you’re paying for sex hardly means that the women that are paying for sex with these hot african dudes are suddenly gonna change tehir minds and jump your (assumed) flabby inexperienced bones. If he’s running up huge bills with local prostitutes, he’s not inexperienced. Regular sex with a partner operating to a professional standard? Experienced. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/52 "2013-01-10T10:41:07Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > For female sex tourists, at least, I don’t think it’s just about patronizing a prostitute. My understanding is that it is more about the whole story- going off to an beautiful tropical paradise, meeting an exotic, well built, engaging young man, dancing with him all night and maybe making love on the beach after. I do so want to believe you’re right. I’m not sure exactly why this sits with me better than a $10 blow job in an alley\*, but it really does. It’s more the classical courtesan model of prostitution than the streetwalker. It’s got class. \*Which I think should be legal and all, it’s just not something I respect much, on either side of the transaction. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/53 "2013-01-10T10:41:39Z")
> [@Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](#): > > I guess I just gang out with the wrong circles but do people(of either gender) really just state as a matter of fact on facebook, to people they know, that they are going to other countries and paying for sex? Like this is a thing that normal people do? I highly doubt that. That’s one of the reasons that they go abroad. Did you read the way **even sven** described it? The women who go on these trips probably barely admit that as a reason to themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/54 "2013-01-10T10:50:01Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I do so want to believe you’re right. I’m not sure exactly why this sits with me better than a $10 blow job in an alley\*, but it really does. I can’t really imagine a world where she’s not right. How many crackhead (or at least crackhead-looking) female prostitutes are there versus (straight) male? There may be some straight male ones out there but the number and quality is far, far different from female ones. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/55 "2013-01-10T11:43:25Z")
> [@Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](#): > > I guess I just gang out with the wrong circles but do people(of either gender) really just state as a matter of fact on facebook, to people they know, that they are going to other countries and paying for sex? Like this is a thing that normal people do? Yea, I’ve had guys tell me about patronizing prostitutes here in Trinidad and it sounds downright gross. So they came from the USA where escorts advertize in every city, so they could come here and go to a underground brothel(usually a hotel or bar or nightclub) where they have sex with a Colombian woman on a nasty mattress usually with a tough guy with a guy in his pants somewhere within eyesight and hey if he is lucky there will be a shower. :smack: That is like the endless tourists who come here and want to buy weed, you gotta be kidding me weed that makes mexi brick look good by comparison?! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/56 "2013-01-10T12:12:59Z")
> [@Furious\_Marmot](#): > > Would you have sex for free with every single woman you see walking down the street? Not sure if this was meant rhetorically, but if not you’ll have to give me a specific street name. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/57 "2013-01-10T15:04:45Z")
> [@grude](#): > > \ usually with a tough guy with a **guy** in his pants somewhere within eyesight \ (bolding mine) 😕 Maybe it’s all part of the show? ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/58 "2013-01-10T15:09:14Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > (bolding mine) > > 😕 > > Maybe it’s all part of the show? LOL well I meant to type gun in his pants, damn I can’t win. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/59 "2013-01-10T15:34:20Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Not sure if this was meant rhetorically, but if not you’ll have to give me a specific street name. 😃 I know when I went to Jamaica, there was an older American woman there on a “golf holiday”. She played a lot of golf, but also spent a lot of time with certain young men at the resort, and apparently came there three or four times a year. She worked in high-level banking or something back home. ---
**Author:** ![toast\_pakora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@toast\_pakora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toast_pakora)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575/60 "2013-01-10T15:43:24Z")
> [@](#): > > But it seems like elderly people just get really randy _ **for some reason** _ in their golden years. Oh dear, whatever could that reason be? I know! I bet they just like sex! You realise it’s not the exclusive province of the young, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/female-sex-tourism/646575.md?page=4)