# Females asking "Does my butt look too big?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 4, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959 "2003-03-04T06:50:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/1 "2003-03-04T06:50:39Z")
Many times I’ve heard girls ask that question, but I’ve never understood it. I’d like to get some input from women on this. Speaking as a guy: I’ve never had any problems with large butts being unappealing. Although you may have doubts about your self image, your butt probably should not be your highest concern. I can assure I’ve never heard any guy say to me “That girl looks pretty hot, but her butt is too large!” If the butt is too large, then probably the entire package is too large and not just that one part. Why do women ask this all the time? And do they honestly expect me to give them an honest answer in the unlikely event that I actually DID think they had a large ass? ---
**Author:** ![skaterboarder87](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@skaterboarder87](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skaterboarder87)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/2 "2003-03-04T06:56:01Z")
This is where the backhanded compliments come into play. When your girlfriend/wife asks you “is my butt too big?”, reply with “Don’t worry honey, there’s nothing I like more than a girl with a big ass” (Source: Tom Leykis). ---
**Author:** ![jesseboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90ced4/32.png) [@jesseboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesseboy)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/3 "2003-03-04T08:07:07Z")
Right on, Skateboarder! Back-handed compliments rule!!! There is nothing better to keep a woman in line than a good back-hander. “No, honey, i like a girl with a few extra pounds.” “That’s what i like about you honey, you don’t look like one of these young girls running around, you look like a real grown-up mature woman.” Phrased properly in the right context, a back-hander can shell-shock a woman… ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/4 "2003-03-04T08:31:51Z")
All the guys I grew up with thought big butts = good. Sure some fat asses don’t look good, but if it doesn’t have a nice shape it’s not going to look good skinny either. I had a conversation with a guy I was dating a few years ago that went something like: “…since my butt’s big.” “Your butt’s not big.” “What?” “Your butt’s not big.” “Well, lots of other guys think I have a nice butt.” I can’t believe he thought he was paying me a compliment by telling me I had a skinny butt. A couple weeks ago I bought a new pair of jeans, and when my boyfriend type person saw them he said, “Those jeans make your butt look big.” It was meant and taken as a compliment ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/5 "2003-03-04T08:41:02Z")
Women ask it because they want to thought of as desirable and sexy, especially by someone they fancy. They’re not going to ask a guy’s opinion about their butt, if they: a) don’t want you to look at it (so when you do they have your attention, it’s all part of the seduction, hehe) b) they really think they have a big butt, cos no woman (if this is still the early dating stage) will risk being insulted OR risk chasing a guy away. But usually, women who ask men if their butts are too big, only want them to look at it. If they’re really worried abt their butt, and asking your opinion, you are: a) one of theire closest female friends OR b) their husband who can’t afford to divorce them over a big butt. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Calculus\_of\_Logic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@The\_Calculus\_of\_Logic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Calculus_of_Logic)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/6 "2003-03-04T09:00:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jesseboy \* > \*\*Right on, Skateboarder! > > Back-handed compliments rule!!! There is nothing better to keep a woman in line than a good back-hander. “No, honey, i like a girl with a few extra pounds.” “That’s what i like about you honey, you don’t look like one of these young girls running around, you look like a real grown-up mature woman.” Phrased properly in the right context, a back-hander can shell-shock a woman… \*\* HAHAHAHA “all in all, its whats inside that counts” “weeeeeeeellllllllllllllllll” “You have a nice face” et al ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/7 "2003-03-04T09:25:50Z")
“It’s not the _dress_ that makes you look fat…” ---
**Author:** ![MissBungle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@MissBungle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBungle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/8 "2003-03-04T10:28:45Z")
Don’t act like women are the only gender that gets insecure. I can recall many a time where some man has asked (after moments of passion) if his penis was too small… too big… etc etc. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/9 "2003-03-04T10:34:40Z")
In the nineties, it seemed like small butt=good (e.g., Kate Moss). These days, a nice round (bigger) butt seems to be the preference. Which, IMO, is a good thing, as women do not need the bullshit waif image to aspire to. (Small aside, I think JLo had something to do with this, as she brought to the general media’s attention the beauty of a nice-sized round ass. Whatever you may think of her, at least she made a large population of men rethink their views on the perfect ass.) As to the OP, I always say, “Honey, you’re ass is perfect. It turns me on just thinking about it.” ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/10 "2003-03-04T10:41:17Z")
**MissBungle** , you’re absolutely right. Men have huge issues with their penises (pun intended). But that’s probably a topic for a different thread. ps - the last post should read “ **your** ass is perfect.” She is most certainly not _an_ ass. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/11 "2003-03-04T11:01:38Z")
I usually ask my wife “too big for what?” ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/12 "2003-03-04T11:33:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **elfje** \* > > Women ask it because they want to thought of as desirable and sexy, especially by someone they fancy. They’re not going to ask a guy’s opinion about their butt, if they: > > a) don’t want you to look at it (so when you do they have your attention, it’s all part of the seduction, hehe) > b) they really think they have a big butt, cos no woman (if this is still the early dating stage) will risk being insulted OR risk chasing a guy away. > > But usually, women who ask men if their butts are too big, only want them to look at it. If they’re really worried abt their butt, and asking your opinion, you are: > > a) one of theire closest female friends OR > b) their husband who can’t afford to divorce them over a big butt. > > 🙂 oohh… that certainly explains a lot, and it makes sense. i assume it applies to other areas of the body as well? ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/13 "2003-03-04T11:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shijinn \* > \*\*oohh… that certainly explains a lot, and it makes sense. i assume it applies to other areas of the body as well? \*\* Yeah, for all those many, many times women ask “Does this blouse make my breasts look too big?” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/14 "2003-03-04T12:35:53Z")
ROFL Gorsnak. yes, it definitely works for all those times, too 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/15 "2003-03-04T13:51:54Z")
When I ask my husband how my butt looks, he always says it’s beautiful or great. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/16 "2003-03-04T13:59:01Z")
“I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers can deny When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung…” Baby Got Back ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/17 "2003-03-04T14:07:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sublight \* > I usually ask my wife “too big for what?” 😃 I like that. Some women never learn. I tend to just ask if I look okay. If not, he’ll point out problem areas (kindly). I’m rather lucky… hubby likes my big butt so I just make sure it looks nice 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/18 "2003-03-04T14:10:18Z")
Depending on my mood, I will have a few different answers to that question… 1. “Honey… if you have to ask…” 2. "yes, but if it were small, I wouldn’t like you… so get over it… " 3. “No, it looks perfect in that outfit… let me see you shake it” I for one am glad the day of the waif is gone… J-lo may be a bit big for my taste… but I like a nice thick butt on a fit body… like a Salma Hayek type… ---
**Author:** ![MissBungle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@MissBungle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBungle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/19 "2003-03-04T14:16:29Z")
I say… don’t ask a question that you cannot handle an honest answer to. if ya can’t stand to hear your butt is too big… then don’t ask. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/20 "2003-03-04T14:17:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by merge \* > \*\* > J-lo may be a bit big for my taste… but I like a nice thick butt on a fit body… like a Salma Hayek type… \*\* Wha? J-lo might weigh 120 soaking wet. She’s no bigger than Salma. They both look hot to me. _mmm, Jlo soaking wet_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959.md?page=2)