# Females asking "Does my butt look too big?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 4, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959 "2003-03-04T06:50:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/21 "2003-03-04T15:01:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Indygrrl \* > \*\*Wha? J-lo might weigh 120 soaking wet. She’s no bigger than Salma. They both look hot to me. > > _mmm, Jlo soaking wet_ \*\* are you talking about J-Lo’s ass weighing 120? There is no way she weighs 120… The rest of her body is very nice… but her ass is just a bit too big for my taste… I like thick butts… but I have seen some pictures of her… and the thing is Huge… Salma’s is perfect… in fact… I don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with J-Lo… Salma is much sexier… ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/22 "2003-03-04T19:01:12Z")
[wrong answer] “No dear, it looks just big enough.” [/wrong answer] ---
**Author:** ![CinnamonGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@CinnamonGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CinnamonGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/23 "2003-03-04T19:16:59Z")
Hmph. A woman who asks, “Does this (dress, outfit, etc.) make my butt look big?” is NOT hoping you’ll look at it. She’s asking about the success of her camouflage attempts. Real question: “Have I succeeded in minimizing the size of my butt?” Your answer, if you care for her, should be nothing more elaborate than “You look great, honey.” If indeed, the outfit DOES make her butt look big, that does not change anything except that when you say “You look great, honey,” be prepared with Plan B. If she detects that you are bullshitting, she will ask, “Yeah, thanks, but does my BUTT LOOK BIG?!?” Your only good response now is to say, “Well, come here so I can see better…” then when she gets within arm’s length, reach out and fondle her butt with love, lust, and lechery. Murmur just under your breath: “Hmmmm… ahhh… yeahhhhh… ooooh…” and then when she jumps away from your groping, say “No, baby, your butt is FINE.” That’s all she’ll need. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/24 "2003-03-04T19:20:19Z")
She: “Kiss my ass!” He: “That could take all night!” ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/25 "2003-03-04T19:30:55Z")
Seeing as there is no answer to this question that will not cause the woman to get mad at you, I have taken to answering “Do I look stupid?” ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/26 "2003-03-04T19:33:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by merge \* > \*\*are you talking about J-Lo’s ass weighing 120? > There is no way she weighs 120… > The rest of her body is very nice… but her ass is just a bit too big for my taste… > I like thick butts… but I have seen some pictures of her… and the thing is Huge… > > Salma’s is perfect… in fact… I don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with J-Lo… Salma is much sexier… \*\* That’s hilarious. Her butt is NOT huge. I agree, Salma is hotter, but she’s the SAME size as Jlo. (btw, did you catch Salma on the cover of Vanity Fair? Wowza.) ---
**Author:** ![CinnamonGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@CinnamonGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CinnamonGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/27 "2003-03-04T19:36:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vibrotronica \* > \*\*Seeing as there is no answer to this question that will not cause the woman to get mad at you, I have taken to answering “Do I look stupid?” \*\* Nononono, there are lots of answers that will not necessarily cause her to get mad. Try, “No, it doesn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Rutabegger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9de0a6/32.png) [@Rutabegger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rutabegger)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/28 "2003-03-04T23:08:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CinnamonGrrrl \* > \*\*Nononono, there are lots of answers that will not necessarily cause her to get mad. > > Try, “No, it doesn’t.” \*\* “Are you sure?” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/29 "2003-03-04T23:09:49Z")
When a couple is together, the butt looks nice all the time. When the couple aren’t together anymore, that’s when the guy says she had a huge or ugly butt… (or other body part). The correct response would be “How do you feel about your butt?” ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/30 "2003-03-05T01:15:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*Why do women ask this all the time? \*\* You mean, why do _some_ women ask this all the time ? > [@](#): > > **And do they honestly expect me to give them an honest answer in the unlikely event that I actually DID think they had a large ass?** Perhaps you should ask a woman, next time you hear one say this ? I’m sure the answer will differ for each woman. Some will want the honest truth, some will want to be reassured, some will be fishing for compliments, some will be masochists, and the majority will be asking for some reason that I don’t have a clue about. Start asking _them._ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/31 "2003-03-05T04:46:30Z")
J.Lo is drop dead gorgeous, with a perfect butt. Have you seen the ads for her perfume. MMMMMMMMMMMMM, and I’m a girl. ---
**Author:** ![skaterboarder87](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@skaterboarder87](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skaterboarder87)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/32 "2003-03-05T05:39:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynne\_kilii \* > \*\*J.Lo is drop dead gorgeous, with a perfect butt. Have you seen the ads for her perfume. MMMMMMMMMMMMM, and I’m a girl. \*\* Eh, J.Lo does nothing for me, and I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/33 "2003-03-05T15:46:06Z")
These type of questions always strike me as a method of fishing for compliments. In other words, doubt yourself out loud, in the hopes that the other person will disagree, and better still tell you how marvellous you look. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. A lot of men (myself included) do the same thing. Often I’ll mention that I look and feel a bit podgy… deep down, I know full well that I’m just looking for the other person to boost my confidence by saying I look OK. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/34 "2003-03-05T15:52:02Z")
It’s true, it’s an opening for a compliment. Say something nice and flattering: even if she notices you’ve dodged the question, she probably won’t mind. (And if she persists, then she probably really wants to know the answer.) ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/35 "2003-03-05T21:09:31Z")
Gosh, I don’t think I’ve _ever_ asked any question along the lines of “Does my butt look too big?” I don’t see the point. For one thing, as this thread shows, butt preferences vary, so my butt’s type isn’t going to be of great significance. Second, I’m not always going to get the answer I want to hear. Hell, I don’t always know what I want to hear. Sometimes I want compliments, and sometimes I want brutal honesty. I can’t predict when I’ll want either, and it’d be cruel to expect someone to read my mind and supply the answer I want. Third, I think the question is one of those that should never be asked, lest the the answer be something you don’t want to hear. It’s up there with “Do you think I’m an idiot?” and “What kind of person do you think I am?” And last of all, I like my butt. I don’t care what other people think of it. If I ever did ask the question, I’d want an (sensitively phrased) honest answer. If the answer was unpleasant, then I couldn’t get mad at you for it-- I did, after all, ask. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/36 "2003-03-05T22:28:58Z")
I had a WORSE experience than being asked if an outfit made my wife’s butt look big. A couple we’re friendly with got married last weekend, and my wife wanted to buy the bride a gift to give her at the bachelorette party. So one night, after we’d had dinner at a restaurant, she asked if we could stop by Victoria’s Secret and look for something. Now, the only thing I hate more than waiting while my wife shops is waiting while she shops in a store like that. But I agreed. The big moment… she finds a short, sexy nightie that might work, holds it up, and asks me, “Do you think this would look good on \_\_\_\_?” - HOW THE HECK DOES A MAN ANSWER THAT AND LIVE??? (I’m not sure why I’m still alive, come to think of it.) ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959/37 "2003-03-05T22:55:28Z")
I have told women there butt looks big because they are wearing high heels, which pushes it out more & thus, if they would not wear them, their butt would look fine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/females-asking-does-my-butt-look-too-big/158959.md?page=1)