# Fertility Does Not Make A Marriage

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fertility-does-not-make-a-marriage/228731>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [February 11, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fertility-does-not-make-a-marriage/228731 "2004-02-11T22:41:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fertility-does-not-make-a-marriage/228731/61 "2004-02-16T01:32:20Z")

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**Jarbaby** , any time anybody ever challenges your sainthood, please use me as a reference. You’ve said beautifully exactly what I find obnoxious to the point of irateness about those arguments.

– Poly (half of a biologically childless and very meaningful marriage) carp

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**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fertility-does-not-make-a-marriage/228731/62 "2004-02-16T02:07:15Z")

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Although you know this, you’ll never win with these people.

These are the same people that say that fertility treatments are wrong because obviously you are interfering with God’s work. If you can’t have kids the “real” way, then obviously God was trying to tell you something.

That, almost word for word was the conversation I overheard at the store. Those people had no idea how badly their words hurt me.

You’ll find that a lot of the people who are inclined to tell you “how things should be” tend to have unhappy (and often hypocritical) lives. So, in short, Fuck 'em. You’ll never please them and who would want to anyway?

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**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fertility-does-not-make-a-marriage/228731/63 "2004-02-16T15:22:43Z")

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The 1662 Book of Common Prayer has this to say on the reasons for marriage:

> [@](#):
>
> First, It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.
> 
> Secondly, It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ’s body.
> 
> Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity.

I persist in thinking that any one of the three is a sound enough reason to get married … and that the third, in particular, is the basis of a _successful_ marriage, and not the first.

(Yes, this particular _religious_ rite does place emphasis on procreation. Doesn’t mean the _secular_ state ought to.)

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