# Feydeau, you asked for it..now come and get it! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666 "2005-03-28T21:00:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/81 "2005-04-05T02:57:26Z")
Um… **Daithi** … those are kind of, um, ‘robust’ for strwas. What? [sub]whisper whisper[/sub] Oh yeah. I forgot. We don’t usually do that when the calamari is involved. It’s not that it hadn’t occurred to us, understand; merely that it is somewhat… impractical, given the shapes of everyone concerned. And we speak as perople to whom four-dimesional non-euclidean geometry _and_ footy handicapping are easily-handled subjects. ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/82 "2005-04-05T03:02:09Z")
Hey, does anyone else get the feeling like… umm… this is sort of like restarting the “act” \*after \* climax was achieved? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/83 "2005-04-05T03:45:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Hal Briston** > > \ Ummm, guys? I can still wiggle the fingers on my left hand… Hello? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/84 "2005-04-05T05:00:44Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > Hey, does anyone else get the feeling like… umm… this is sort of like restarting the “act” \*after \* climax was achieved? > 😃 Nah. The preceding events were just unusually-vigorous foreplay. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/85 "2005-04-05T05:05:08Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > Hello? :: **Sunspace** , dresed all in black, enters the room and goes over to **Feydeau** :: [sub]Don’t worry, we’re going to get you out of here. [/sub] :: he begoins untying **Feydeau** :: [sub] There has been an administrative error. We only have a little time.[/sub] :: He frees **Feydeau**. They move towards the side door, from which a strong smell of brine emanates :: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/86 "2005-04-05T15:03:30Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Um… **Daithi** … those are kind of, um, ‘robust’ for strwas. Yeah, I had kind of forgotten to take scale into account when I was ordering them. I guess I kind of figured that someone here would be able to whip up… oh, I don’t know… kind of an insertable TARDIS or something… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/87 "2005-04-05T15:20:18Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > :: He frees **Feydeau**. They move towards the side door, from which a strong smell of brine emanates :: \ \ _Excellent_…everying is going according to my plan… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/88 "2005-04-05T18:51:49Z")
_re-enters, taps **Hal** upside the head_ You took my seat! :mad: _sits self on his lap instead, watches **Sunspace** in action_ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/89 "2005-04-05T19:47:55Z")
Hey! Who told you about my _Evil Secret Overlord Chamber of Evil_?? Ahh, heckwithit…you’re in here, might as well make yourself at home. Hey, wanna have some fun? Push that red button over there…watch how high those two jump. \ ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/90 "2005-04-05T19:59:41Z")
_pushes red button, :eek:_ How did you _do_ that? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/91 "2005-04-05T20:02:24Z")
_ **AAAIIIEEEEE!!!** _ :: **Sunspace** and **Feydeau** jump as a terrible scream echoes through the chamber they just left. In the room they have just entered, the smell of brine is intense. They stand on a concrete mezannine overlooking a large and deep pool of salt water, which occupies most of the room. A hoist and lifting equipment are suspended from the ceiling, and several large vats stand at one side. :: :: _Things_ move through the water. :: I don’t want to know what that was we just heard. We’d better keep moving. :: They move towards another door. :: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/92 "2005-04-06T16:48:38Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > _pushes red button, :eek:_ How did you _do_ that? Fun, ain’t it? I picked up the console over at Megalomaniacs ‘R’ Us. Got a great deal on it…they installed it and everything. 'Course, I had to have the installers killed, since they obviously knew too much about the _Evil Secret Overlord Chamber of Evil_. Now, if you _really_ wanna have some fun with those two, try pulling that lever over there. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/93 "2005-04-06T16:58:18Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Fun, ain’t it? I picked up the console over at Megalomaniacs ‘R’ Us. Got a great deal on it…they installed it and everything. Ooh! Do they have a clearance section? 'Coz I’d love to be a small-time despot somewhere, but I have a joint checking account, and, well… Let’s just say Mrs. Lacha would prefer to conquer a small remote tropical island, but what fun is that, lording it over a bunch of wild pigs and savage Bristish schoolchildren? Maybe I should wait until **EatsCrayons** holds a rummage sale after her world domination plans seemed to fizzle out and all… What? You want me to stand on this large red “X” painted here on the floor? OK! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/94 "2005-04-06T17:04:17Z")
_watches as **Daithi** plummets through the trapdoor, looks back at **Hal** _ Where does that trapdoor lead t–? _sounds of screaming_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/95 "2005-04-06T17:13:11Z")
_splash splash splash_ AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You don’t understand! _I’m made of sugar and I might melt!_ Oh, wait - there’s a little island here. Whew. Uhh… What’s that sound…? _peers into the gloom_ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/96 "2005-04-06T17:56:51Z")
:: Somewhere in the gloom, something begins singing :: Mariah/ We call the squid Maraiiii-ah/ As we bow before her tentacular glooooryyyy/ And ask for her sacred sucker marrrrkssss… :: Shocked into silence, **Daithi Lacha** peers around nervously. There is the sound of a door opening, and the far end of the room is suddenly illuminated. There is little to be seen except a large pool of water and the end of a polished stainless-steel chute projecting through the ceiling. :: :: Two people enter the dim room. One looks at the other :: **Feydeau** , did you hear singing? :: The door suddenly closes, restoring the gloom. The singing begins again :: :: All three human occupants of the room scream in unison. :: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/97 "2005-04-06T19:13:16Z")
_on cue_ _ **AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!** _ So, what are we looking at, here? Esoteric Order of Dagon? btw, nice literary use of **Feydeau** there; when he comes back, he can script himself, but until then… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/98 "2005-04-06T20:10:53Z")
_ **AAAAHHHHHHH!!!** _ The singing! It hurts!!! :: The three humans look around. There is no obvious source to the singing. but it continues. It grows louder. :: _Mariiiahh!!!/ The mighty squid Mariah!/ We promise obeisance and meaty treats/ To feed her slinky glory!_ :: The water in the pool ripples in the dimness. :: Does anyone have a light? We need to get out of here. Maybe we can get to the door. :: Cautiously, the humans start to feel their way around the walls of the room. :: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/99 "2005-04-06T20:44:28Z")
Here - on my keyring - I have a tiny flashlight. The batteries aren’t the freshest, but… _a small blue light shines forth in the darkness_ Oh! What’s that glittering over there? Looks like - … Hey! The light’s gone out! And where’s that draft coming from? _The singing grows louder_ Er… **Sunspace** … is that _your_ tentacle around my ankle? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666/100 "2005-04-06T21:39:39Z")
:: **Sunspace** looks down. :: That’s not a tentacle. It’s a _…vine?_ :: He looks at **Daithi Lacha** and **Feydeau**. **Feydeau** , however, looks wildly around the room and does not seem to be coherent. :: Follow me! :: Pulling **Feydeau** along, they move towards what is now revealed to be three doors in a row. The vine, a thin exploratory tendril, is broken off **Daithi** ’s ankle, but a second one quests in their direction, from the pallid vegetation protruding through the gap underneath the nearest door. The three have to step lively to avoid it. They make it to the second door, and cautiously listen at it. Then… :: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/feydeau-you-asked-for-it-now-come-and-get-it/296666.md?page=6)