# FHM and MAXIM delivered to city hall **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 17, 2006, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167 "2006-05-17T21:24:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/121 "2006-05-23T15:08:53Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Shouldn’t you have said “…faster than a bucket of whitewash down the trousers”? 😃 Even better: _A little song A little dance A little whitewash down your pants …_ Chela, I asked before & I’ll ask again – what’s your function for the City? What do you do for a living, besides watching pud-pullers and (apparently) masterfully baiting the Pit? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/122 "2006-05-23T15:33:22Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Yes I am a terrorist, I sent my place of employment (YEs I HAVE A JOB)contraband undies through the mail, hey if you cant fight city hall in the open you gotta go underground! No, you’re an immature, prudish little girl. Grow the fuck up and get over it. And if your coworker really IS masturbating in public, report him to your supervisor. None of this passive-aggressive, oooh, I’ll send someone UNDIES crap. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/123 "2006-05-23T15:39:57Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Glad to do my part to keep the BBQ pit screaming. There there, kiddo. We’re not screaming at you. We’re laughing at you. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/124 "2006-05-23T15:47:36Z")
> [@chela](#): > > If you feel you must and haven’t already go ahead and vomit in my thread. Was it good for you? Was it everything you’d hoped it would be? > [@](#): > > _Yes I am a terrorist_ Nah, you’re a garden-variety bluenose busybody. And unless you also want to be an SDMB punchline, then you should just shut up now. Untwist your underpants, get a grip, and mind your own fucking business. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/125 "2006-05-23T16:14:31Z")
> [@chela](#): > > I share an office and a computer with three other people, one of whom is my faovrite prick puller, dear sweet old guy with a bad habit, I try not to notice where his hands go evry 15 minutes but jeez. Every fifteen minutes? Either this guy has the stamina of a Clydesdale, or we can add “masturbate” to the list of words you don’t understand, alongside “porn” and “fetish.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/126 "2006-05-23T16:40:56Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Every fifteen minutes? Either this guy has the stamina of a Clydesdale, or we can add “masturbate” to the list of words you don’t understand, alongside “porn” and “fetish.” She never said “masturbate”, she said “prick puller.” Evidently the guy works with thorns, and gets an average of four of them per hour stuck in his skin. He then pulls them out. **Chela the Moron** obviously finds this offensive. Perhaps she should mail him some boxers. That’ll show the bastard! ---
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/127 "2006-05-23T16:58:51Z")
I’d just like to say that I know a few firemen and they are some the few remaining goddamn heroes in our society. These are people who routinely put their fucking life on the line (and sometimes die) to save your worthless prudish life. These are guys that sit around at “work” for hours on end, waiting, knowing that at any time they’ll get called away and they (or one of their buddies) might not make it back. If they want to read magazines, let them. They’re not fucking elementary school teachers. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/128 "2006-05-23T17:19:52Z")
> [@Jayrot](#): > > They’re not fucking elementary school teachers. Maybe they should, and then they wouldn’t have such a magazine fetish. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/129 "2006-05-23T17:21:51Z")
> [@Jayrot](#): > > If they want to read magazines, let them. They’re not fucking elementary school teachers. Well, I’m sure some of them have fucked elementary school teachers at some point. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/130 "2006-05-23T17:23:12Z")
Damn you, **tdn**. ---
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/131 "2006-05-23T17:55:39Z")
You snooze, you lose (when it comes to snappy replies)! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/132 "2006-05-23T19:24:42Z")
> [@Jayrot](#): > > I’d just like to say that I know a few firemen and they are some the few remaining goddamn heroes in our society. These are people who routinely put their fucking life on the line (and sometimes die) to save your worthless prudish life. These are guys that sit around at “work” for hours on end, waiting, knowing that at any time they’ll get called away and they (or one of their buddies) might not make it back. If they want to read magazines, let them. They’re not fucking elementary school teachers. Damn straight. Becoming a firefighter means that you are ready, willing and able to risk your life to save others. If that doesn’t define “hero” I don’t know what does. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/133 "2006-05-23T20:53:47Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Well, I’m sure some of them have fucked elementary school teachers at some point. I don’t know about elementary school, but how about a [high school teacher](http://wizbangblog.com/2006/05/11/florida-teacher-in-hot-water-over-swimsuit-photos.php)? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/134 "2006-05-23T22:39:00Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Damn straight. > > Becoming a firefighter means that you are ready, willing and able to risk your life to save others. If that doesn’t define “hero” I don’t know what does. Well, “A large sandwich consisting of a long roll split lengthwise and filled with layers of meat, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and condiments,” also defines “hero,” but I don’t know that I’d make an allowance for porno fetish magazines for a sandwich. Even if it were a MLT - mutton, lettuce, and tomato, where the mutton is really lean, and the tomato is… well, I think I’m getting off on a bit of a tangent, here. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/135 "2006-05-24T04:11:07Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Well, “A large sandwich consisting of a long roll split lengthwise and filled with layers of meat, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and condiments,” also defines “hero,” Unless I’m being spectaculalry whoosed, the sandwich you described would be defined as “A sub” in this part of the world. What on earth do Submarine Sandwiches have to do with heroes? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/136 "2006-05-24T04:18:00Z")
> [@Martini Enfield](#): > > Unless I’m being spectaculalry whoosed, the sandwich you described would be defined as “A sub” in this part of the world. What on earth do Submarine Sandwiches have to do with heroes? Consider yourself whooshed. The sandwich is called a hero in various parts of the U.S. D’ya want a pop with your hero, or a soda? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/137 "2006-05-24T04:19:08Z")
And maybe a packet of sultannas, or a side of aubergenes? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/138 "2006-05-24T06:27:20Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Every fifteen minutes? Either this guy has the stamina of a Clydesdale, or we can add “masturbate” to the list of words you don’t understand, alongside “porn” and “fetish.” Dude, let’s be fair. She didn’t say “to completion”. He _could_ be having a quick pull every 15 min while ogling pron all day and just giving himself some seriously blue nether regions by the end of the day 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/139 "2006-05-24T07:23:15Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > D’ya want a pop with your hero, or a soda? Neither, thanks… I’ll have a soft drink, though! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Exploding\_Kitchen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c89c15/32.png) [@Exploding\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exploding_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167/140 "2006-05-24T07:46:50Z")
What about a coke? That’s how I first knew that I had moved to Texas when I did…I asked for Coke at a McD’s and got asked what kind of coke I wanted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fhm-and-maxim-delivered-to-city-hall/357167.md?page=8)