# Fiction, Trauma, and Children **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [October 5, 2023, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130 "2023-10-05T03:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/41 "2023-10-05T17:21:55Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > So, I don’t think you’ve framed the question very well, and I can’t answer it as framed. But I will 100% say that sometimes a child isn’t in a position to confront certain traumas in fiction, and we gotta respect that. I was responding to comments from Johnny\_Bravo, which I thought were a bit harsh to the OP, and their hypothetical example of the drunken abusive dad I thought was a little over the top: > [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > One kid might be able to process the death of Bambi’s mom just fine. Another might ask their parents about it on the ride home and get a good answer. Another might ask about it later that night but, oops, Dad’s been drinking and now they forever associate their first experience of fictional death with a brutal beating. Another might bring it up at school and get bullied for watching a “kid’s” movie, but really for showing vulnerability in front of the kid who got beat by his dad last night for asking the same question. > > So I think your overall premise is deeply, dangerously flawed because when it comes to stuff like this there are no blanket answers about what’s right or proper. There’s nothing that comes even close. I’m not trying to beat a dead horse by bringing this up again; I think Johnny\_Bravo and I came to an understanding about our particular stances. To you I’ll repeat what I’ve already said: yes, every child and every situation is different; we want to protect our children, but we need to prepare them, too. In your example, let’s say the child had chosen to read _Sal and Gabi Break the Universe_ on his own, not knowing the plot point of the mother dying. One way or another, kids will confront trauma. My point is that we can’t protect children from everything, we can only do our best to guide and support them when they are exposed to trauma, both real and fictional. And sometimes, if introduced in the proper manner, with the proper environment and support, I think fictional trauma can help to inoculate against overwhelming real trauma down the road. > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > No, we have a situation where young people are increasingly unable to cope with life, but the problem isn’t a lack of parental death in kid’s cartoons. It’s complicated, but it involves parents sheltering children from risk and accountability, indulging their desire to avoid anxiety triggers, and failing to teach them problem solving and other skills needed for resilience. > > ETA: It’s not all parents. There are a number of external factors contributing as well. I agree, it’s a complicated issue that goes beyond the OP issue of whether or not sanitizing children’s entertainment is a good thing, and would probably make a good Great Debates topic. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/42 "2023-10-05T17:51:47Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > It’s good for children to be exposed to traumatic events in fiction Thank goodness, I was feeling conflicted about the choice to bring my 7 year old to see Jaws on the big screen. He’s still pissed at me. My parents let me watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers when I was 7, and I turned out ok. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/43 "2023-10-05T17:59:58Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > So, I don’t think you’ve framed the question very well, and I can’t answer it as framed. But I will 100% say that sometimes a child isn’t in a position to confront certain traumas in fiction, and we gotta respect that. Which is understandable. I, as a grown ass man, almost broke down in tears during Darth Vader’s death scene while watching the special edition of Return of the Jedi in 1997. My father had died late in 1996, and I sure wasn’t past the grieving stage at that point. I sure didn’t expect to have that reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/44 "2023-10-05T18:00:51Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Thank goodness, I was feeling conflicted about the choice to bring my 7 year old to see Jaws on the big screen. And now he’s a marine biologist! ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/45 "2023-10-05T18:05:43Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > And now he’s a marine biologist! The sea was angry that day… ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/46 "2023-10-05T18:08:10Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > And now he’s a marine biologist! Or…is he just pretending to be a marine biologist in order to impress an old girlfriend? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/47 "2023-10-05T18:09:44Z")
I think if they can get thru Barney and SpongeBob they’ll be able to process a Disney movie. My kids knew _pretend_ and _real_ were different very early. My grandkids even earlier. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/48 "2023-10-05T18:12:08Z")
I don’t know you well enough to get into that! /Futurama ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/49 "2023-10-05T18:15:28Z")
Ha, I had to [look up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqvkorwyR4I) that reference. ---
**Author:** ![Pazu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pazu/32/15522_2.png) [@Pazu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pazu)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/50 "2023-10-05T18:19:42Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > My husband, a clinical psychologist, made a similar complaint in a psychology forum and was lambasted for being “ableist.” It seems to me that “ableist”, like “gaslighting” and “mansplaining”, is yet another term that has been overused into meaninglessness in recent years. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/51 "2023-10-05T18:23:46Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I, as a grown ass man, almost broke down in tears during Darth Vader’s death scene while watching the special edition of Return of the Jedi in 1997. A year after my dad died, I completely broke down watching the Dr. Who Christmas special. My dad had introduced me to Dr. Who when I was little, and when the new series came out in 2005, I got to introduce it back to him. Not sure exactly what set me off, some combination of watching Dr. Who my dad would never see, and my first Chirstmas without him around, but it was just full-body sobs. I didn’t cry that hard when he actually died. Anyway, I can’t see how you can call kids these days “soft.” _My_ childhood was soft. I didn’t have to do active shooter drills. I didn’t have to deal with quarantine as a kid. I could go outside in the summer without choking on smoke from wildfires. I didn’t have a bunch of peers who were half-orphaned after one of their parents OD on opioids. I could go to college without accruing crippling debt, and could get a decent job with my degree when I graduated. If my childhood had been half as hard as the one kids these days are dealing with, I’d have snapped in half. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/52 "2023-10-05T18:29:15Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Anyway, I can’t see how you can call kids these days “soft.” _My_ childhood was soft. I didn’t have to do active shooter drills. I didn’t have to deal with quarantine as a kid. I could go outside in the summer without choking on smoke from wildfires. I didn’t call them soft. And I really tried in the OP to make it clear I didn’t think kids today were weak, woke, or any other such nonsense. The truth is there are things I saw when I was very long that I wouldn’t let me kids watch. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/53 "2023-10-05T18:30:41Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > My parents let me watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers when I was 7, and I turned out ok. Man, I was in my teens when I first saw it (the first time it was televised), and it traumatized me for a few years. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/54 "2023-10-05T18:33:47Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I didn’t call them soft. Sorry, the second paragraph wasn’t meant to be a response to your post. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/55 "2023-10-05T18:34:07Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Disney has more evil stepmoms than a modern suburb. That gave me nightmares for years. All you need is one bad one and you sleep forever til some creepy forest weirdos come drag you out of it A friend of ours, on watching Mulan (the animated, not the unnecessary live remake) noted that this was literally the first Disney movie he’d ever seen where there was an older woman who was both a) alive, and b) not evil. Two of them, actually, the mother and the grandmother. I had to admit he was right. Walt-boy clearly had some mama issues. As far as trauma from movies etc.: I remember being terrified to have my windowshade open at night after seeing War of the Worlds. Which my logical brain KNEW was fiction, but I was still twitchy about seeing the nighttime sky. A girl I babysat, 11ish years younger than I am, was taken to see Jaws in the threater. She was 6. I tried suggesting to her parents that this was maybe not appropriate (as I’d seen it already), but her older siblings took her. She was mostly fine - one evening shortly after she kept pulling her feet up onto the couch yelling that Jaws was gonna get her. Aside from that, it seems to have done her no lasting harm (from nearly 50 years ago). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/56 "2023-10-05T19:03:52Z")
In general I’m inclined to agree with the OP. Fictional accounts of trauma can help children confront and navigate these issues in a safe way. However, kids develop at different rates and it’s important for both creators and parents to keep that in mind. If Disney is targeting a certain age group, and on the whole, that age group is not developmentally equipped to deal with Bambi’s Mom getting shot, then more power to Disney for making that choice. I’ve never actually seen Bambi so I can’t judge on that account. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/57 "2023-10-05T19:07:35Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > > [@Odesio](#): > > > > I didn’t call them soft. > > Sorry, the second paragraph wasn’t meant to be a response to your post. It’s probably more of a response to my post: > [@solost](#): > > > [@Odesio](#): > > > > I don’t want to imply that kids today are weak as I don’t believe that kind of nonsense. > > I won’t just imply it; I’ll say it: kids today are weak! > > OK, not weak, exactly, but too sheltered, too living in a virtual bubble. I know, every generation complains about ‘kids these days…’. But I think ‘kids these days’ really _ **are** _ different than we were in negative ways, and it concerns me. Which was a bit of a tongue-in-cheek reply, at least the first sentence, but I do feel like kids today are often too insular these days; and they seem to often have an extended childhood that is going well into chronological adulthood. It’s not all the parent’s fault, or even mostly the parent’s fault; it’s a complicated situation. Part of it is the internet age that allows them social interaction without leaving their rooms. And Miller is right, kids today do have to deal with much more difficult and dangerous situations in certain ways. I don’t know all the answers, all I know is that we protect our kids as much as we can, where and when it’s appropriate, and try to prepare them for what we can’t protect them against. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/58 "2023-10-05T19:16:34Z")
We, as parents and caregivers have to make distinctions based on the child’s abilities and mindset. I have 5yo grandchild that would not process Bambi too well. But her older sister loved it, at age 2 and 3. Wizard of Oz gave nightmares to two brawny grandsons. For about a week. Then they wanted to watch again seeing it advertised. Mom vetoed it. I was willing to make the popcorn and sit with them spouting my trivia knowledge of the movie. No, she said. My oldest son lapped up horror flicks, as a youngun. Worried the heck outta me. But he just loved it. I got the same vibe from him when he was so into The Walking Dead. He’s a big grown up man. Marine and combat veteran. So I try to let it go. It’s all relative. Apply the ages, demeanor, ability to understand and process and you’ll do okay. ETA: plopping your kid, alone in front of the TV with endless Disney and cartoons don’t count, folks. Be there, and be ready to explain. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/59 "2023-10-05T19:27:08Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Bambi trains all winter, and in spring as the forest awakens he prepares to reap his bloody vengence upon the humans encroaching on the forest. “Sometimes, dead is better.” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2023, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130/60 "2023-10-05T20:54:10Z")
Two legs bad; four legs good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fiction-trauma-and-children/991130.md?page=4)