# Fictional characters most likely to give their creators a pop in the schnozz **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 1, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814 "2011-02-01T20:01:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/1 "2011-02-01T20:01:13Z")
Most of y’all, I am sure, know of Bob Heinlein’s World as Myth idea; it’s the notion that, among hte countless alternate universes, every story that has ever been told actually exists, and that new worlds are created by storytellers. One of Heinlein’s characters – the polymath Jubal Harshaw – resolves to no longer write anything but light comedies after he learns this, since his composing any decent tragedy or adventure story involves creating people who suffer due to his imagination. Which brings me to the thread question. What fictional characters, if transported to the same world as their authors and apprised of WaM, would be most likely (or most justified) to punch, kick, or otherwise assault their creators? Bonus points for explaining why, of course. And please, nobody say "Me, if I met the Christian God. Okay? This isn’t the Pit and anyway he doesn’t have a nose. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/2 "2011-02-01T20:08:29Z")
Honor Harrington has a few beefs to settle. I quit reading the series when they started to get really bloated, but Weber really did seem to enjoy torturing her to no end - killed all her friends, blew up all her ships, etc. Eventually I learned not to get too attached to anybody in those books whose name wasn’t on the cover. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/3 "2011-02-01T20:13:36Z")
Do you mean they’d want to hit their creators because of the Awful Things they put them through? or because of fundamental differences between their creator’s philosophy/lifestyle/point of view and their own? If the former, Lovecraft’s heroes would form a long line of people after their creator (“Eldritch horror, my eye! Get back here!”) In the latter case, I think Sherlock Holmes would want to slap some sense into that fairy-believing, gullible creator of his. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/4 "2011-02-01T20:14:59Z")
The Rat in Pearls Before Swine is always smacking or threatening to kill creator Stephan Pastis. Mostly for making baaaaad puns. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/5 "2011-02-01T20:31:16Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Do you mean they’d want to hit their creators because of the Awful Things they put them through? or because of fundamental differences between their creator’s philosophy/lifestyle/point of view and their own? > > If the former, Lovecraft’s heroes would form a long line of people after their creator (“Eldritch horror, my eye! Get back here!”) > In the latter case, I think Sherlock Holmes would want to slap some sense into that fairy-believing, gullible creator of his. Why would Holmes care what Doyle believed, so long as Doyle created him in a way Holmes found palatable? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/6 "2011-02-01T20:35:23Z")
Flashman would certainly like to give George MacDonald Fraser a sound thrashing, I think. And not without cause - Elphinstone’s retreat from Afghanistan and the Indian Mutiny alone would merit it. (Hell, the Indian Mutiny was sufficiently horrible that it provoked _Flashman_ to feelings of horrified empathy, compassion, and mercy. That’s pretty bad.) But old Flashy would only dish it out once Fraser had gotten up there in years. He’s not one for a fair fight, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/7 "2011-02-01T20:35:32Z")
> [@Karen\_Lingel](#): > > The Rat in Pearls Before Swine is always smacking or threatening to kill creator Stephan Pastis. Mostly for making baaaaad puns. That’s “Fictional characters who give their creator a pop in the schnozz on a regular basis.” For characters who’d beat up the author for making their lives miserable: -Rincewind -pretty much anyone from “A Song of Ice and Fire” -possibly Harry Dresden, because Jim Butcher actually admits in _Side Jobs_ that he starts out with “How can I make Harry miserable today?” Harry’s not really the beat-up-your-writer type, but we’ve got an actual written confession in a book here. It’s not like you can discreetly pretend not to notice. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/8 "2011-02-01T20:35:34Z")
Charlie Brown would have a few things to say to Shulz. Anyone who has played the Sims(any version) would be in trouble. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/9 "2011-02-01T20:36:31Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Charlie Brown would have a few things to say to Shulz. No, he’d be too wishy-washy to complain. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/10 "2011-02-01T20:39:58Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > -possibly Harry Dresden, because Jim Butcher actually admits in _Side Jobs_ that he starts out with “How can I make Harry miserable today?” Harry’s not really the beat-up-your-writer type, but we’ve got an actual written confession in a book here. It’s not like you can discreetly pretend not to notice. Yup. And if nothing else, Harry isn’t above wanting revenge for the deaths of his loved ones. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/11 "2011-02-01T20:45:22Z")
Jean Valjean would probably like to spend a few hours with Victor Hugo, in a dark room, if he ever learned that Hugo was the guy responsible for all the shit he has to waddle through. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/12 "2011-02-01T20:46:13Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Charlie Brown would have a few things to say to Shulz. You seem to be running low on _C_s, so I am shipping you a dozen gross. ETA: As I think on it, Zeb, Deety, & Jake–the protagonists of the book in which WaM is first mentioned–would all pop Heinlein a good one. The author is implicitly the villain in _Number of the Beast_. Hilda wouldn’t HIT Bob, but that’s because (a) she’s tiny and (b) she’d simply murder him. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/13 "2011-02-01T20:46:45Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Charlie Brown would have a few things to say to Shulz. > [@JThunder](#): > > No, he’d be too wishy-washy to complain. And Thomas Covenant would be too depressed, I suppose. Think Kilgore Trout was too pessimistic to think it would be worth the effort to go after Vonnegut? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/14 "2011-02-01T20:53:24Z")
Practically any [Chew Toy](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheChewToy) or [Butt Monkey.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButtMonkey) Or [Woobie,](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie) for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/15 "2011-02-01T20:56:47Z")
RE Howard has a butt kicking coming from Red Sonya. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/16 "2011-02-01T20:59:47Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Practically any [Chew Toy](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheChewToy) or [Butt Monkey.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButtMonkey) Or [Woobie,](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie) for that matter. You’ll pay for this. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/17 "2011-02-01T21:02:26Z")
> [@Kilmore](#): > > RE Howard has a butt kicking coming from Red Sonya. Is she a Howard character, or something created for the movie? ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/18 "2011-02-01T21:02:55Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > And Thomas Covenant would be too depressed, I suppose. Morn Hyland, from Donaldson’s Gap series, might never stop punching, except to load her rifle. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/19 "2011-02-01T21:06:33Z")
I was going to mention _Pearls before Swine_, too. But if we’re just talking about characters who’ve gone through Hell, I’ll nominate Turin Turambar. Except of course, he’d accidentally kill Tolkien when he punched him, and then live wracked with guilt over it ever afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/20 "2011-02-01T21:07:14Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Is she a Howard character, or something created for the movie? :eek: Depending on how important the spelling of the name is to you, she was either born in text as Athena intended or in Marvel Comics. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814.md?page=2)