# Fictional characters most likely to give their creators a pop in the schnozz **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 1, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814 "2011-02-01T20:01:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/21 "2011-02-01T21:11:30Z")
Buffy Summers, Angel, Willow Rosenberg, Wesley Windham-Price, Faith Lehane and Cordelia Chase would each like a word or several thousand with Joss Whedon, I’m guessing. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/22 "2011-02-01T21:13:02Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > Buffy Summers, Angel, Willow Rosenberg, Wesley Windham-Price, Faith Lehane and Cordelia Chase would each like a word or several thousand with Joss Whedon, I’m guessing. Whedon killed off Fred. Wesley is not going to have _words_ with him. He’s going to murder him out of hand. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/23 "2011-02-01T21:18:47Z")
Kara Thrace would kick Ron Moore’s ass seven ways to Sunday for the way he ended her story. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/24 "2011-02-01T21:20:04Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I was going to mention _Pearls before Swine_, too. But if we’re just talking about characters who’ve gone through Hell, I’ll nominate Turin Turambar. Except of course, he’d accidentally kill Tolkien when he punched him, and then live wracked with guilt over it ever afterwards. And in his guilt drag at least five other people into death and ruin with him because he’s such a goddamn emo kid that he can’t stop feeling sorry for himself long enough to figure out that he’s being a douche. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/25 "2011-02-01T21:20:35Z")
Just about any of Michael Moorcock’s [Eternal Champions](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_Champion)–which are really just incarnations of one another from different time lines and universes–but in particular Erekosë, doomed to remember all of his previous incarnations and to never be reunited with the woman he loves as he is seemingly randomly torn from each incarnation to become the next one in a Quantum Leap-ian way; arriving with no knowledge of what he is to do and no means to divert his destiny to do it no matter how hard he tries. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/26 "2011-02-01T21:39:15Z")
Randy Milholland would have to go in to hiding. I haven’t read comics in a long time, but any writer for Marvel or DC would also have to go on the run. They seem to hate having a happy well adjusted hero for more than a few pages. > [@runner pat](#): > > Anyone who has played the Sims(any version) would be in trouble. 😃 Guilty as charged. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/27 "2011-02-01T21:43:53Z")
Louis Wu, Teela Brown, Nessus, and Speaker-to-Animals. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/28 "2011-02-01T21:48:07Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > Randy Milholland would have to go in to hiding. > > I haven’t read comics in a long time, but any writer for Marvel or DC would also have to go on the run. They seem to hate having a happy well adjusted hero for more than a few pages. Modern Age, certainly. DC Silver Age writers such as Eliot S! Maggin (whom I mention mostly because I enjoy typing his name thus) and his ilk will get a pass. I mean, they created a world inhabited by hot chicks in which no one ever dies violently. Well, outside of Gotham. And Krypton. Superman’s not going to go on a roaring rampage of revenge, though. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/29 "2011-02-01T21:48:17Z")
Quarnian Dow would clearly pop me in the face. Mike Hammer would smack Mickey Spillane. Not for any particular reason, but for practice. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/30 "2011-02-01T22:15:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Louis Wu, Teela Brown, Nessus, and Speaker-to-Animals. I don’t know about that; aside from Teela (the supposedly “lucky” one), the others seemed to end up doing pretty well. What they had was much more in the “adventure” category than “tribulation”. Although Wu might still do so just for the Hell of it (this being the same guy who once tough-talked a Siberian tiger that was about to eat him). ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/31 "2011-02-01T23:05:08Z")
Repairman Jack might want some quality time in a dark alley with Mr. Wilson. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/32 "2011-02-01T23:43:27Z")
I suspect that if Holden Caulfield ever ran into J.D. Salinger, he wouldn’t punch him but he’d think he’s a real phony. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/33 "2011-02-02T01:23:57Z")
In her first novel, [_Confidence Game_](http://www.amazon.com/Confidence-Game-Michelle-M-Welch/dp/0553586270) Michelle M Welch put her protagonist through all kind of hell, not once giving her a break. She’s local and when I was talking to her at a Con I said, “I’ve heard the writer’s job is to chase the protagonist up a tree, throw stones at him, then let him out of the tree. You chased Elzith up a tree, threw stones at her, then _lit the tree on fire._” Of course, if Elzith did meet with Ms. Welch it would not be a pop on the schnozz that would be in the offing, but a cut throat. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/34 "2011-02-02T01:38:05Z")
Talia of the Valdemar series would be tempted, Vanyel, Tylendel and Lavan Firestorm too. Mercedes Lackey once wrote a amusing short story where her characters confronted her over her treatment of them, and Lackey apologized to poor Talia “for that foot thing”. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/35 "2011-02-02T01:54:50Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Talia of the Valdemar series would be tempted, Vanyel, Tylendel and Lavan Firestorm too. Mercedes Lackey once wrote a amusing short story where her characters confronted her over her treatment of them, and Lackey apologized to poor Talia “for that foot thing”. Oh, my, yes! Lackey’s _almost_ as bad as Martin, except she rarely kills her characters (not that she’s afraid of doing so when it’s called for in the story). But she does put them through the wringer! ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/36 "2011-02-02T02:27:21Z")
John McClane. Of the _Die Hard_ franchise. Since movies like this tend to be written “by committee,” he can have nice, long, raging “vent” on multiple faces. _Anyone_ from the _Legacy of the Aldenata_ series by John Ringo, including the Posleen, the notional “bad guys.” Dude killed 80%+ of humanity. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/37 "2011-02-02T02:39:30Z")
I thought of a good one… and then I forgot it. Then I thought of a book full of them, but it’s probably not one you’ve heard of. I’d like to complain to the authors, please. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/38 "2011-02-02T05:54:17Z")
I suspect that Jack Bauer would have some harsh words for his writers. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/39 "2011-02-02T06:10:35Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > I suspect that Jack Bauer would have some harsh words for his writers. Or any of the ‘Lost’ people. Hell, half the viewers would like a word. O.o ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814/40 "2011-02-02T12:04:38Z")
I suspect Guy de Maupassant would have to watch his back, lest he be ganged up on by his characters. Anthy Himemiya has every right to beat the crap out of Chiho Saito (the manga-ka who wrote _Revolutionary Girl Utena_) as far as I’m concerned. Except, of course, she wouldn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-characters-most-likely-to-give-their-creators-a-pop-in-the-schnozz/569814.md?page=3)