Buffy Summers, Angel, Willow Rosenberg, Wesley Windham-Price, Faith Lehane and Cordelia Chase would each like a word or several thousand with Joss Whedon, I’m guessing.
Whedon killed off Fred. Wesley is not going to have words with him. He’s going to murder him out of hand.
Kara Thrace would kick Ron Moore’s ass seven ways to Sunday for the way he ended her story.
And in his guilt drag at least five other people into death and ruin with him because he’s such a goddamn emo kid that he can’t stop feeling sorry for himself long enough to figure out that he’s being a douche.
Just about any of Michael Moorcock’s Eternal Champions–which are really just incarnations of one another from different time lines and universes–but in particular Erekosë, doomed to remember all of his previous incarnations and to never be reunited with the woman he loves as he is seemingly randomly torn from each incarnation to become the next one in a Quantum Leap-ian way; arriving with no knowledge of what he is to do and no means to divert his destiny to do it no matter how hard he tries.
Randy Milholland would have to go in to hiding.
I haven’t read comics in a long time, but any writer for Marvel or DC would also have to go on the run. They seem to hate having a happy well adjusted hero for more than a few pages.
Guilty as charged.
Louis Wu, Teela Brown, Nessus, and Speaker-to-Animals.
Modern Age, certainly. DC Silver Age writers such as Eliot S! Maggin (whom I mention mostly because I enjoy typing his name thus) and his ilk will get a pass. I mean, they created a world inhabited by hot chicks in which no one ever dies violently.
Well, outside of Gotham. And Krypton. Superman’s not going to go on a roaring rampage of revenge, though.
Quarnian Dow would clearly pop me in the face.
Mike Hammer would smack Mickey Spillane. Not for any particular reason, but for practice.
I don’t know about that; aside from Teela (the supposedly “lucky” one), the others seemed to end up doing pretty well. What they had was much more in the “adventure” category than “tribulation”. Although Wu might still do so just for the Hell of it (this being the same guy who once tough-talked a Siberian tiger that was about to eat him).
Repairman Jack might want some quality time in a dark alley with Mr. Wilson.
I suspect that if Holden Caulfield ever ran into J.D. Salinger, he wouldn’t punch him but he’d think he’s a real phony.
In her first novel, Confidence Game Michelle M Welch put her protagonist through all kind of hell, not once giving her a break. She’s local and when I was talking to her at a Con I said, “I’ve heard the writer’s job is to chase the protagonist up a tree, throw stones at him, then let him out of the tree. You chased Elzith up a tree, threw stones at her, then lit the tree on fire.”
Of course, if Elzith did meet with Ms. Welch it would not be a pop on the schnozz that would be in the offing, but a cut throat.
Talia of the Valdemar series would be tempted, Vanyel, Tylendel and Lavan Firestorm too. Mercedes Lackey once wrote a amusing short story where her characters confronted her over her treatment of them, and Lackey apologized to poor Talia “for that foot thing”.
Oh, my, yes! Lackey’s almost as bad as Martin, except she rarely kills her characters (not that she’s afraid of doing so when it’s called for in the story). But she does put them through the wringer!
John McClane. Of the Die Hard franchise. Since movies like this tend to be written “by committee,” he can have nice, long, raging “vent” on multiple faces.
Anyone from the Legacy of the Aldenata series by John Ringo, including the Posleen, the notional “bad guys.”
Dude killed 80%+ of humanity.
I thought of a good one… and then I forgot it. Then I thought of a book full of them, but it’s probably not one you’ve heard of. I’d like to complain to the authors, please.
I suspect that Jack Bauer would have some harsh words for his writers.
Or any of the ‘Lost’ people.
Hell, half the viewers would like a word. O.o
I suspect Guy de Maupassant would have to watch his back, lest he be ganged up on by his characters.
Anthy Himemiya has every right to beat the crap out of Chiho Saito (the manga-ka who wrote Revolutionary Girl Utena) as far as I’m concerned. Except, of course, she wouldn’t.