# Fictional places you want to stay the F\*#$ away from. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 5, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310 "2011-04-05T19:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/81 "2011-04-06T12:27:58Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > The world of Bertie Wooster. Well, I’ll be pipped! That’s exactly where I want to live! A world where major crime consists of stealing a policeman’s helmet on Boat Night, where one can always drop into Market Snodsbury for a meal cooked by Anatole if somebody hasn’t stolen him, where only a cow-creamer and a ukelele will make my life complete. Bally nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Sevastopol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/82 "2011-04-06T12:45:20Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Well, I’ll be pipped! That’s exactly where I want to live! A world where major crime consists of stealing a policeman’s helmet on Boat Night, where one can always drop into Market Snodsbury for a meal cooked by Anatole if somebody hasn’t stolen him, where only a cow-creamer and a ukelele will make my life complete. Bally nonsense. I say! Touch of strong language old girl. Steady on. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/83 "2011-04-06T12:54:51Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Incidentally, it is impossible for Santorum to do as you describe. No anus. I thought everybody knew. Not impossible; it just won’t be _his own_ excrement. Meanwhile, I’m avoiding [Hades and Crematoria](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chronicles_of_Riddick_(series)#Hades) from Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick, respectively. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/84 "2011-04-06T13:03:56Z")
Barsoom’s low gravity might be neat for a while, but I wouldn’t want to live there. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/85 "2011-04-06T13:41:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Imagine that the stars have aligned against us, and what we all fear has come to pass: Sarah Palin has been elected President, with Rick Santorum as her VP and Michelle Bachmann as new Speaker of the House. > > Obviously most of the Dope will be needing trips off-world. I’d like to say I’d miss you guys…but I don’t like to lie. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/86 "2011-04-06T14:17:04Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Well, I’ll be pipped! That’s exactly where I want to live! A world where major crime consists of stealing a policeman’s helmet on Boat Night, where one can always drop into Market Snodsbury for a meal cooked by Anatole if somebody hasn’t stolen him, where only a cow-creamer and a ukelele will make my life complete. Bally nonsense. Okay, so it’s the very _least_ bad fictional place to live in. But nobody can tell the truth\*, everybody is bullying or being bullied by somebody, all of the women are either idiots or manipulative shrews, nobody seems to contribute anything to society, no one would _dream_ or working, some people are in debt up to their eyeballs, and the happiest day of your life is when an aged relative stiffs it and leaves you everything. Oh, and many if not most of the people you know are inbred morons (with money). Gahhh! I’d run for my life. But the cars _are_ gorgeous. \*I mean, really. What’s the worst that could happen if Bertie simply said, “Sorry, old thing. Bit of a misunderstanding. Not going to marry you, you see? It’s as simple as that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the links,” or something. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/87 "2011-04-06T14:23:44Z")
I’d just get a job writing for _Milady’s Boudoir_ and marry Bingo Little. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/88 "2011-04-06T14:34:23Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > The world of Bertie Wooster. 😕 The worst thing that ever happens to anybody there is the threat (never carried out) of a beating. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/89 "2011-04-06T14:35:33Z")
Unless you really think you’ve got what it takes to be the Humongous (or Auntie Entity), I’d give the world of Mad Max/Road Warrior a miss. ---
**Author:** ![MarcusF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/67e7ee/32.png) [@MarcusF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarcusF)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/90 "2011-04-06T14:48:11Z")
Can I avoid \*the Emberverse \*in the 20-30 years after the Change? I have no confidence in my ability to survive without modern technology! ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/91 "2011-04-06T15:19:05Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Well, I’ll be pipped! That’s exactly where I want to live! A world where major crime consists of stealing a policeman’s helmet on Boat Night, where one can always drop into Market Snodsbury for a meal cooked by Anatole if somebody hasn’t stolen him, where only a cow-creamer and a ukelele will make my life complete. Bally nonsense. Not only that, but even a complete wastrel with no money and no income can live comfortably by inviting himself to the homes of acquaintances he barely knows for as much as a fortnight at a time. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/92 "2011-04-06T15:36:11Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > Not only that, but even a complete wastrel with no money and no income can live comfortably by inviting himself to the homes of acquaintances he barely knows for as much as a fortnight at a time. See, I was brought up that if you have to stop at a fast-food place to use the restroom, you are morally obligated to buy something. So I think I would be very uncomfortable just sponging off old college chums that way. …On the other hand, if I were brought up with that kind of money to burn, it (money, that is) probably wouldn’t mean anything to me, so sponging would be no problem at all. Hmmm. But these people _have_ money and education and tact and manners and honor and all that rot, and yet they are constantly stepping on one another, inviting themselves over, demanding somebody do something for them or lie on their behalf – arggh! ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/93 "2011-04-06T15:41:13Z")
But they all have servants upon whom the sponging devolves. It’s easy to invite someone to spend the night when it’s Madge who has to put the sheets on the bed and Jeeves to open the champagne and make the hangover cure in the morning and Osgood to brush the lint off the dinner jacket. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/94 "2011-04-06T15:43:21Z")
Add to the places to avoid list: [Bad Street, Atlanta, GA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uxGp-oJAGI). But rather than worry about avoiding so many places, why not just set the destination as one of the pleasure planets in the ST: TNG universe and be done with it? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/95 "2011-04-06T15:51:19Z")
> [@pope\_hentai](#): > > its ok brony, Fluttershy would just shame the cockatrice into fixing you, and use her stare. I don’t need a cutesy nickname to watch My Little Pony–I’m a girl! > [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](#): > > The whole ponyville universe would suck. Unless I could have a black glittery skull tattooed on my ass. [That can be arranged.](http://www.aorange.com/?p=1137) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/96 "2011-04-06T15:53:34Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Add to the places to avoid list: [Bad Street, Atlanta, GA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uxGp-oJAGI). > > But rather than worry about avoiding so many places, why not just set the destination as one of the pleasure planets in the ST: TNG universe and be done with it? Oak, obviously I would have [del]given[/del] lent you a continua buggy of your own and told you to amuse yourself (and to come save my ass when I got in trouble). That said, I think you’re wrong about the Trek pleasure planets. Unlike Earth, Vulcan, & Betazed, those places require money. (Okay, credits, but it’s the same thing.) Also, the farther you are from Earth, the more likely weird stuff is to happen – particularly if it’s a place where a starship is likely to stop for shore leave. Best stay on Earth & vacation on Risa. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/97 "2011-04-06T19:31:56Z")
Minas Morgul. Even without the Nine. ---
**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/98 "2011-04-06T20:25:32Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I don’t know - the resort seemed nice. > > There are worse places in the Whoverse. Utopia, for instance. True that. Also the New New New etc. York from “Gridlock.” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/99 "2011-04-06T20:40:48Z")
In my travels as an Intergalactic Gladiator, I’ve once visited Apokolips. I have no desire to return there. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/100 "2011-04-06T21:03:28Z")
[Dragon’s Egg](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon%27s_Egg) is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t live there. For long. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310.md?page=6)