# Fictional places you want to stay the F\*#$ away from.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [April 5, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310 "2011-04-05T19:50:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/101 "2011-04-06T21:29:06Z")

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> [@runner pat](#):
>
> Any of the towns in Stephen King’s Maine.

So…I’m the only one who thinks “Man, it’s too bad Maine isn’t really like that!” then? Of course, I always see myself as one of the folks to live through it all…

I would refuse to go to the worlds depitcted in **Oryx and Crake** , and **Edenborn**. Post-apocalypticc worlds are fun to read about, but I don’t think they’d be any fun to live in.

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**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/102 "2011-04-07T15:45:05Z")

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for me it’s a toss up between the post-apocolyptic worlds of various movies. Independence Day, Deep Impact, 2012, Day after Tomorrrow, Inconvenient Truth…

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/103 "2011-04-07T16:10:46Z")

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> [@elfkin477](#):
>
> I would refuse to go to the worlds depitcted in **Oryx and Crake** , and **Edenborn**. Post-apocalypticc worlds are fun to read about, but I don’t think they’d be any fun to live in.

I could **maybe** stand the post-apocalyptic world of [_The Fifth Sacred Thing_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fifth_Sacred_Thing) – so long as I wind up in SF, not LA.

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**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/104 "2011-04-07T16:57:17Z")

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Beta Colony.

Any world named Masada.

Mesa

Caelian (Anyplace with the nickname: “Hell’s Blender” seems to me a place to avoid.)

While Jinx may not be facing war, famine, nor even an oppressive government, I’m still not sure I want to share a planet with bandersnatchi.

Halley’s Comet (Not that I want to live on the Earth of _The Heart of the Comet_, either.)

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**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/105 "2011-04-07T17:07:45Z")

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Sparta Mississippi from “In The Heat of the Night”. Small southern town with the murder rate of South Chicago.

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**Author:** ![FlyingRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/59ef9b/32.png) [@FlyingRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRat)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/106 "2011-04-07T17:34:48Z")

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> [@a35362](#):
>
> The world of Bertie Wooster.

I could actually go for this, but that’s because in my head-canon Bertie Wooster and Lord Peter Wimsey moved in intersecting social circles, and I would love love love to trail along in Peter’s wake, watching him piffle agreeably at Bertie while unleashing a snarky wit that lacerates anyone smart enough to perceive it.

As for places I wouldn’t ever want to end up…Arrakis. I’m not nearly badass enough, and I like showers, thank you very much.

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**Author:** ![FlyingRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/59ef9b/32.png) [@FlyingRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRat)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/107 "2011-04-07T17:35:53Z")

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> [@pancakes3](#):
>
> for me it’s a toss up between the post-apocolyptic worlds of various movies. Independence Day, Deep Impact, 2012, Day after Tomorrrow, Inconvenient Truth…

Add A Canticle for Leibowitz, and you’ve got me. _shudder_

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**Author:** ![limegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@limegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/limegreen)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/108 "2011-04-07T19:51:48Z")

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Westeros, definitely, especially as the whole thing starts to fall apart with the Hound and other weirdos randomly killing and pillaging.  
(Bon Temps, I would actually enjoy. Just don’t invite anything dead inside, and keep a stake handy.)  
I would avoid Maine, The Walking Dead Atlanta area, and some of Harry Turtledove’s alternate worlds where Hitler won, Chris Bunch’s Vulcan world.

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**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/109 "2011-04-08T16:25:56Z")

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Any world created by Jim Butcher (unless I somehow got powers just by showing up) Otherwise I’m at the bottom of the food chain.

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**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/110 "2011-04-08T17:50:33Z")

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Pern or Darkover. Way too many crises, too girlie, and no indoor plumbing. In fact, I’ll avoid just about anyplace without indoor plumbing.

And most video game universes. You either get turned into a zombie and splattered by some random hero, or are a hero and die a lot while splattering zombies. No thanks.

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**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/111 "2011-04-08T17:55:27Z")

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> [@Sampiro](#):
>
> Camelot. Tis a silly place.
> 
> …

It’s only a model.

Seriously, from the Star Trek universe, any world in the Romulan, Cardassian, Dominion, or Borg spheres of influence. I DON’T want to be assimilated!

Mordor. Though, one cannot really just walk into it.

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**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/112 "2011-04-08T19:23:33Z")

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•The Halo universe—just because the expanded universe stuff never really seemed to have as good a “vibe” as the worldbuilding in the official material. Oh, and the genocidal galactic warfare.

•[Most comic book universes.](http://www.johnnyalucard.com/coastal.html) Honestly, even with all the fantastic elements, the quality of life and crime rate don’t actually seem any better than our Earth, _plus_ you have the neverending fighting and universe-threatening crises.

And, frankly, from an outsider’s point of view, they’re like worlds run by cruel, capricious gods. They’ll smite anyone out of personal spite, their own idea of entertainment, or just to get attention. Horrific villains will be allowed to run virtually unrestrained simply because they’re _interesting_, horrific tragedies for much the same reason. Your fate, your own mind, your own _soul_, all can be twisted in action and ability because of some unknown force’s personal whim, biases, limitations, or because they’re in a _hurry_.

And perhaps worst of all, none of it is permanent. None of it, for good or for bad. Every moment of history, every memory, can be changed in the blink of an eye, subtly altered, or made that it never even existed at all.

“None of this is really happening. There is a man. With a typewriter. This is all part of his crazy imagination.” And I can think of few finer hells.

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**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/113 "2011-04-08T19:49:08Z")

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> [@Kilmore](#):
>
> Sparta Mississippi from “In The Heat of the Night”. Small southern town with the murder rate of South Chicago.

THIS.

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**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/114 "2011-04-08T19:54:00Z")

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> [@OtakuLoki](#):
>
> While Jinx may not be facing war, famine, nor even an oppressive government, I’m still not sure I want to share a planet with bandersnatchi.

I was under the impression that Jinxian bandersnatchi aren’t a significant threat to the hairless chimps. Or which Known Space stories should I read to correct my understanding?

I’d avoid:  
Zemoch  
Cyrga  
(but Fire-domed Matherion is a good place to visit)  
Malloria and its client states  
Certain parts of the Ringworld, though the Ring does have more habitable space than most 'verses.  
Death Valley, Sahara, and pretty much any place that screams “waterless wasteland.”

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**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/115 "2011-04-08T19:59:47Z")

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> [@Scuba\_Ben](#):
>
> I was under the impression that Jinxian bandersnatchi aren’t a significant threat to the hairless chimps. Or which Known Space stories should I read to correct my understanding?

Oh, they aren’t a threat unless you go hunting them, according to the stories.  
Having said that, when we start with a planet with a surface gravity of 2.6 G, inhabited by an apatosaur-sized sentient slut, that is, as a society, so _bored_ they’re willing to allow other sophonts to pay for the privilege of hunting them.

I don’t trust them not to get so bored that revolution looks like an improvement.

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**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/116 "2011-04-08T20:04:03Z")

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**OtakuLoki** , I do believe you meant slug.

Though the visual is interesting.

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**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/117 "2011-04-08T20:06:10Z")

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Wait, what did I type? _looks_  
Oh, for the love of all invertebrates. Yes, I meant SLUG. SLUG. SLUG.

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**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/118 "2011-04-08T20:06:29Z")

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South Park, Colorado. The freaky stuff that happens there is fun to watch, but I’ll be it’s hell to experience.

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/119 "2011-04-08T20:15:25Z")

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Pretty much any [Crapsack World.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrapSackWorld) Or [Crapsaccharine World.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrapsaccharineWorld)

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**Author:** ![A.Gwilliam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@A.Gwilliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.Gwilliam)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-places-you-want-to-stay-the-f-away-from/577310/120 "2011-04-09T00:19:00Z")

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The Planet of the Moochers!

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