# Fictional Things that Should Exist **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 18, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027 "2009-11-18T14:39:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/1 "2009-11-18T14:39:15Z")
Showdowns- Old west showdowns are completely mythical. No record exists of any actually happening. But they should have. Back Scabbards He Man used one. So did Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Never actually used historically, for obvious reasons, but… so awsome. Spherical Glass Eyes Glass eyes are actually hemispherical false fronts- but books and movies still sometimes depict them as big glass marbles, which is much cooler. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/2 "2009-11-18T15:03:45Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ecks](#): > > Spherical Glass Eyes > > Glass eyes are actually hemispherical false fronts- but books and movies still sometimes depict them as big glass marbles, which is much cooler. Really? Ignorance fought! ---
**Author:** ![StoutHearted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@StoutHearted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StoutHearted)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/3 "2009-11-18T15:06:34Z")
\*\*The Triwizard Tournament \*\*- Let’s have little kids fight dragons and face other sorts of deadly peril, why not? The chocolate in **Chocolat** - it does magic things! ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/4 "2009-11-18T15:12:55Z")
Flying cars. Cheap space travel. Infinite Energy Machines. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/5 "2009-11-18T15:19:40Z")
Ghosts. Faster-than-light travel. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/6 "2009-11-18T15:24:48Z")
Anyone living “happily ever after.” ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/7 "2009-11-18T15:26:47Z")
> [@](#): > > He Man used one. So did Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Never actually used historically, for obvious reasons, but… so awsome. Xena as well. Forgive me but what are the obvious reasons? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/8 "2009-11-18T15:27:39Z")
Karma, in the sense that random events will tend to punish people who are bad and reward people who are good. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/9 "2009-11-18T15:31:04Z")
> [@Icerigger](#): > > Xena as well. Forgive me but what are the obvious reasons? It would have to be a short sword. I’ve never tried it, but back in the '80s a coworker borrowed my sword (broadsword with a three-foot blade). After wearing it on his back, he changed the rules he was using for D&D, since the sword couldn’t be deployed as they are in movies. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/10 "2009-11-18T15:44:24Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > It would have to be a short sword. I’ve never tried it, but back in the '80s a coworker borrowed my sword (broadsword with a three-foot blade). After wearing it on his back, he changed the rules he was using for D&D, since the sword couldn’t be deployed as they are in movies. Just out of curiousity - how did folks carry very long swords in reality? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/11 "2009-11-18T15:51:12Z")
artificial wombs [external to the body] - so some poor woman in a dangerous [physically or chemically] job can have a kid without worrying about the dangers in case of industrial accident, or even military service. So some poor woman [like me] with health issues that hit during pregnancy can have the kid without her own body giving out [high blood pressure is amazingly dangerous, as a single example] and also allowing for 2 people to have a child without a surrogate mother that may be either illegal in some areas, or decide to keep the child as things may happen. _note_ this is not cloning, just a variant of IVF and/or placental transfer by cesarian way early in the pregnancy A form of birth control where the body simply hits puberty, perhaps cycles once then the bleeding and egg production get turned off but somehow magically maintains the right blend of hormones to allow maturation and health. And it is easily reversed if they want to reproduce. \*I would really like to see some training required before allowing birth. If you cant pass the basics of keeping them healthy, and raising them in a reasonable manner, you really shouldn’t reproduce, it would be nice to not have as many kids in the foster system from abuse, and really I would like to see some limit on the number of kids you have according to your income. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/12 "2009-11-18T15:53:40Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Just out of curiousity - how did folks carry very long swords in reality? I am not an expert. I have a simple leather scabbard with a shoulder strap. I assume that some people might have had something similar. Some Japanese swords were long, and they seemed to be carried in a wooden scabbard tucked into a sash. Some scabbards were attached to a belt, though that would work better with a shorter sword. Military sabres hang from a belt by a couple of straps. But as far as carrying a two-handed sword, I don’t know. A long, heavy sword would be most comfortable carried on the back. As to how it was taken from the scabbard (if any), I’m not sure of the mechanics. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/13 "2009-11-18T15:54:58Z")
Warp drive. Transporters. Replicators. A cure for cancer, and a vaccine for HIV. A short, one-word pronoun in place of “his or her” (Joe Haldeman, in _The Forever War_, proposed “hir,” which I like). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/14 "2009-11-18T15:55:40Z")
Transporters disturb me. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/15 "2009-11-18T15:57:31Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I am not an expert. I have a simple leather scabbard with a shoulder strap. I assume that some people might have had something similar. Some Japanese swords were long, and they seemed to be carried in a wooden scabbard tucked into a sash. Some scabbards were attached to a belt, though that would work better with a shorter sword. Military sabres hang from a belt by a couple of straps. But as far as carrying a two-handed sword, I don’t know. > > A long, heavy sword would be most comfortable carried on the back. As to how it was taken from the scabbard (if any), I’m not sure of the mechanics. Maybe it didn’t matter that much. If such swords were used for battle only, quick-draw capability may not have been an issue - they would just be carried with all the rest of the battle equipment by some servants or squires on a cart or pack-horse, to be unpacked when needed. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/16 "2009-11-18T16:00:47Z")
That makes sense. I wouldn’t want to go into a fight with a loose scabbard flopping around on my back. ---
**Author:** ![Umbriel2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/4af34b/32.png) [@Umbriel2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbriel2)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/17 "2009-11-18T16:08:26Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Just out of curiousity - how did folks carry very long swords in reality? I believe they were largely shouldered, sort of like a rifle, held with part of the grip or the not especially sharp base of the blade actually resting on the shoulder or neck – as shown [here](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Landsknecht_1.JPG) and [here](http://www.guildofstmichael.org/groups/german/lkarmor1.html). Those are both pictures of renaissance era “landsknecht”, whose two handed swords were intended specifically to break pike shafts in the set piece battles of the era. The only other two handed swords to see use that I know of were two handed claymores used by the Irish and Scottish, and the [Japanese no dachi](http://www.membres.lycos.fr/yamatokendo/images/Nodachi.jpg), whose precise applications I’m unsure of, but which seem to have been carried in the same fashion. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/18 "2009-11-18T16:08:54Z")
An eight hour time-released caffeine pill. They have them that release slowly over eight hours, but I want one I can take when I go to bed, and in eight hours it releases the caffeine into my system. 'Cause making coffee ion your sleep is just dangerous. . . ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/19 "2009-11-18T16:18:33Z")
> [@Umbriel2](#): > > I believe they were largely shouldered, sort of like a rifle, held with part of the grip or the not especially sharp base of the blade actually resting on the shoulder or neck – as shown [here](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Landsknecht_1.JPG) and [here](http://www.guildofstmichael.org/groups/german/lkarmor1.html). > > Those are both pictures of renaissance era “landsknecht”, whose two handed swords were intended specifically to break pike shafts in the set piece battles of the era. The only other two handed swords to see use that I know of were two handed claymores used by the Irish and Scottish, and the [Japanese no dachi](http://www.membres.lycos.fr/yamatokendo/images/Nodachi.jpg), whose precise applications I’m unsure of, but which seem to have been carried in the same fashion. Thanks! That’s really interesting stuff. When you think about it, that makes perfect sense … ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027/20 "2009-11-18T16:22:14Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Transporters disturb me. I’m sure we can arrange a shuttlecraft for you, Dr. McCoy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-things-that-should-exist/518027.md?page=2)