# Fictional Villains That Are Less Cool Than Their Lackeys, Minions, or Muscle **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 17, 2010, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486 "2010-04-17T21:54:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/61 "2010-04-20T16:47:30Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > You may quibble with ‘villain’ designation, but Kip is much cooler than his boss on Futurama… Zapp is arrogant and clueless but he’s not cool. Confidence is part of being cool, but he goes to pieces when Leela calls his bluff. Kiff couldn’t be any less cool. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/62 "2010-04-20T17:00:59Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > GoGo Yubari was way cooler than O-Ren in Kill Bill. For that matter, most of Bill’s henchpeople/former henchpeople are cooler than Bill himself. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/63 "2010-04-20T17:03:22Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Wait, people still read/watch _Bleach_? I’ve watched up until 2/3rds through the Hueco Mundo arc, and it’s gotten worse than DBZ in terms of filler and boring episodes. Is the manga a lot better? The manga drags something horrible, too. Hueco Mundo has pretty much become the new Namek. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/64 "2010-04-20T19:04:41Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Nemesis Enforcer was way cooler than Golobulus. I don’t even know these people, but your truth stands on the names alone. ---
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/65 "2010-04-20T19:12:43Z")
> [@Lok](#): > > While an argument could be made about Jayne, Mal doesn’t belong in this thread, since it if for villains. Mal was not always a nice guy, but he wasn’t a villain. Right. Was a blunder. > [@Marley23](#): > > Zapp is arrogant and clueless but he’s not cool. Confidence is part of being cool, but he goes to pieces when Leela calls his bluff. Kiff couldn’t be any less cool. He is ridiculously overconfident in other matters, though. And he has a sort of style. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/66 "2010-04-20T19:14:53Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Zapp is arrogant and clueless but he’s not cool. Confidence is part of being cool, but he goes to pieces when Leela calls his bluff. Kiff couldn’t be any less cool. I don’t know what you’re smoking but Zapp is Kirk cranked to 11, he’s the epitome of confident. Who else would say, “If it’s one thing I don’t need, it’s your “I-don’t-think-that’s-wise” attitude!”. ---
**Author:** ![Loisseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Loisseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loisseau)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/67 "2010-04-20T19:34:14Z")
Montrose; Archibald Cunningham, played by Tim Roth in “Rob Roy” (1995). ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/68 "2010-04-20T20:08:32Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > I don’t know what you’re smoking but Zapp is Kirk cranked to 11, he’s the epitome of confident. Who else would say, “If it’s one thing I don’t need, it’s your “I-don’t-think-that’s-wise” attitude!”. Yeah, but it’s all an act. Whenever he’s in true danger, he falls to pieces. So, he may seem cool, but he’s a total fraud. This is what makes Kiff such an empathetic character, instead of just plain pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/69 "2010-04-20T20:32:37Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Yeah, but it’s all an act. Whenever he’s in true danger, he falls to pieces. So, he may seem cool, but he’s a total fraud. This is what makes Kiff such an empathetic character, instead of just plain pathetic. Yes, yes, we all love Kif, but he isn’t cool. Zapp is cool _despite_ the fact that he is a fraud! He doesn’t lose cool points for wearing a girdle, he gains cool points for speaking of it as if it’s nothing to be ashamed of, since it is on his own amazing physique! He doesn’t lose cool points for being the dummy with no pants, he gains them for not even considering for a moment that he, the great Zapp Brannigan would have to wear pants like the rest of us. He oozes cool man. I can’t believe you can’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/70 "2010-04-20T20:44:44Z")
Eh. I may be overstating just to be contrary. He wasn’t exactly _oozing_ cool. But he was cool. In his way. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/71 "2010-04-20T20:48:58Z")
If you love him so much, why don’t you marry him? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/72 "2010-04-20T21:30:30Z")
Well whatever he is he’s certainly cooler than Kif. Kif is the epitome of pathetic loser. Sympathetic? Maybe. But I’m straining to think of even a single “cool” moment or line he has throughout the entire series. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/73 "2010-04-20T21:46:01Z")
Wormtongue was cooler than Saruman. > [@Saltire](#): > > Every herald that has ever worked for Galactus is cooler than the boss. Though some far more than others. Preahps you’ve forgotten that he once retained Dazzler. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/74 "2010-04-20T21:46:53Z")
> [@Gustav](#): > > Well whatever he is he’s certainly cooler than Kif. Kif is the epitome of pathetic loser. Sympathetic? Maybe. But I’m straining to think of even a single “cool” moment or line he has throughout the entire series. Sleeping with Amy? Of course, even Fry gets to do that… She’s a total space-slut. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/75 "2010-04-22T00:23:05Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > OP: SheGo was who I thought of, two. I think Goldar on Power Rangers was cooler than Rita. And Krang was technically in charge on Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles, even though Shredder was always much cooler, to the point where new versions make Shredder the main villain. New versions make Shredder the main villain because Shredder is an actual character from the original comics, unlike Krang, who was just loosely based on the TCRI aliens/utroms in that they were brains walking around in the stomachs of robot bodies. They were mostly benevolent, or maybe neutral, though, not evil. When licensing the new cartoon, Peter Laird didn’t want characters like Krang, Rocksteady, or Bebop to be used because they weren’t actual TMNT characters, they were just made up for the cartoon. This also is why Baxter Stockman doesn’t turn into a fly and April isn’t a reporter in newer versions. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/76 "2010-04-22T00:25:44Z")
Pffft. The TV show was probably way better than the original comics anyway. Krang was awesome. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/77 "2010-04-22T01:48:23Z")
[The Toad](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toad_%28comics%29) – I mean the version from the 1960s _X-Men_ comics, not the movies – was a sniveling sycophant to Magneto, but still way cooler. The original-version comic-book Magneto was never cool, just constantly angry, and without any of the tragic depth of Doctor Doom. **No** lackey ever out-cooled Doom. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/78 "2010-04-22T02:53:18Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > [QUOTE=Saltire] > Every herald that has ever worked for Galactus is cooler than the boss. Though some far more than others. Preahps you’ve forgotten that he once retained Dazzler. 😃 [/QUOTE] That’s nothing. In one silly comic, he had Aunt May as a Herald; “Golden Oldie”. She fed him pastries. ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/79 "2010-04-22T12:16:06Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Agreed, so I was disappointed when we saw him get sliced in half. I figured his chances of showing up in Episode 2 were nil\*. > > As we walked out, my friends were discussing the aforementioned coolness, and I said “too bad Star Wars isn’t written by Stan Lee. In the Marvel Universe, D-Maul would be only temporarily dead.” > > _or should that have been “50/50”?_\* > > \*\*ha. I saw an internet rumour before Ep III, that General Grevious was going to be a rebuilt cyborg version of Darth Maul (based on the fact he had similar eyes). That would’ve been much cooler than what Lucas came up with (not particularly difficult). Dick Cheney was sort of cooler than George Bush. Also not particularly difficult. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486/80 "2010-04-25T01:32:09Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > The TV show was probably way better than the original comics anyway. Those are fighting words, on a level somewhere between “your momma wears combat boots” and “we’re going to show a depiction of Mohammed”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fictional-villains-that-are-less-cool-than-their-lackeys-minions-or-muscle/536486.md?page=5)