# Fidelity in the age of DNA testing. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2011, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889 "2011-08-24T13:44:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/1 "2011-08-24T13:44:54Z")
Since we live in a time where DNA testing can determine any child’s parentage, is there any practical reason for married couples to remain sexually exclusive to one another? Just curious what people think. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/2 "2011-08-24T13:48:28Z")
😕 Are you implying that the only reason for staying monogomous was because you might not know if your kids were your own kids? So since we can scientifically sort out who the daddy’s are, open relationships should be fine? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/3 "2011-08-24T13:54:00Z")
😕 Similarly, I don’t see why we are still dependent on foreign oil now that waffles are a breakfast staple. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/4 "2011-08-24T13:55:18Z")
It seems to me that DNA testing just makes cheating a worse idea since it provides actual scientific evidence that you cheated. As for actual open relationships, birth control and condoms strike me as enabling technologies, not DNA testing. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/5 "2011-08-24T14:08:11Z")
In one of Robin Baker’s books about sex in the future, he theorized that DNA testing will become routine and men will be assessed a “baby tax” as a garnish on their wages for any babies they have fathered outside their marriages. He set forth a scenario in which this is so routine that married couples get used to the idea of their partners straying and even posited that some married women will, with the assent of their husbands, would intentionally try to be impregnated by rich men in order to get the benefit of the “baby tax.” ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/6 "2011-08-24T14:08:27Z")
I’m not suggesting anything. From what I understand, the initial reasoning behind monogamy and monoamory (sp?) was so that a woman knew who the father of her children were. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/7 "2011-08-24T14:12:28Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > I’m not suggesting anything. From what I understand, the initial reasoning behind monogamy and monoamory (sp?) was so that a woman knew who the father of her children were. Ah. Do not let historical origin dictate current usage. Besides, I believe it is more likely to have developed for a man to know that these children are his, since a mother will always know that the child is hers. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/8 "2011-08-24T14:13:14Z")
Actually, it was more so a man knew that he was the father of her children. Even nowadays, guys don’t much like when their wives have other mens’ children. It’s a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/9 "2011-08-24T14:13:15Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > Since we live in a time where DNA testing can determine any child’s parentage, is there any practical reason for married couples to remain sexually exclusive to one another? Just curious what people think. Avoiding transmission of STD’s is a fine reason. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/10 "2011-08-24T14:17:18Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > I’m not suggesting anything. From what I understand, the initial reasoning behind monogamy and monoamory (sp?) was so that a woman knew who the father of her children were. Social monogamy is more prevalent than true sexual monogamy. Extramarital sex is pretty much considered universal and a very small % of people actually live their entire lives sexually monogamous, before or after DNA testing. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/11 "2011-08-24T14:49:49Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Social monogamy is more prevalent than true sexual monogamy. Extramarital sex is pretty much considered universal and a very small % of people actually live their entire lives sexually monogamous, before or after DNA testing. Just so we’re clear: Are you are suggesting that most people are unfaithful to their spouse at some point during their marriage? Or are you saying that most people go through a series of sexual partners before marrying one (and then being everafter faithful to their spouse)? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/12 "2011-08-24T14:53:10Z")
I think Omar is suggesting that there is near-universal _expectation_ in human society that married people will be faithful to their spouses, but at the same time extramarital affairs are very common. I don’t know what he means by “universal.” It’s not universal in the sense that 100 percent of people will be unfaithful, but it might be considered “universal” in the sense that it’s commonly understood that this kind of thing goes on and that it’s not rare. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/13 "2011-08-24T14:54:40Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Actually, it was more so a man knew that he was the father of her children. :smack: That’s what I meant to say, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/14 "2011-08-24T15:14:33Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I think Omar is suggesting that there is near-universal _expectation_ in human society that married people will be faithful to their spouses, but at the same time extramarital affairs are very common. I don’t know what he means by “universal.” It’s not universal in the sense that 100 percent of people will be unfaithful, but it might be considered “universal” in the sense that it’s commonly understood that this kind of thing goes on and that it’s not rare. ^This and that most people have more than one sexual partner over the course of their lives. It’s unclear if the OP is talking about the evolutionary trend of monogamy among homo sapiens as a species or if he’s talking about the social expectation of monogamy in modern culture. ---
**Author:** ![AndyLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@AndyLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyLee)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/15 "2011-08-24T20:24:55Z")
From time to time you read about people wanting to test all babies in hospitals as soon as their born for DNA to make sure the correct parents are on the birth certificates. It never flies as being too intrusive or not cost effective. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/16 "2011-08-24T23:46:22Z")
I, for one, would be totally cool with my wife banging every guy she meets, as long as I know for sure which kids are mine and which aren’t, so I can distribute my love appropriately. I mean, that’s really the only thing holding her back. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/17 "2011-08-25T00:21:49Z")
Oh boy. This is not going to go well. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/18 "2011-08-25T03:22:44Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Social monogamy is more prevalent than true sexual monogamy. Extramarital sex is pretty much considered universal and a very small % of people actually live their entire lives sexually monogamous, before or after DNA testing. Gee, I’m an oddity AGAIN. Yeah, I take your point. Every human society has known that some people are going to have extramarital sex. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/19 "2011-08-25T12:56:06Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I, for one, would be totally cool with my wife banging every guy she meets, as long as I know for sure which kids are mine and which aren’t, so I can distribute my love appropriately. I mean, that’s really the only thing holding her back. _ **awaiting confirmation from the OP, that he has the same beliefs** _ ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889/20 "2011-08-25T15:35:34Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > _ **awaiting confirmation from the OP, that he has the same beliefs** _ I’m not sure if you’re trying to pick a fight or what, **Omar** , but I’m not interested. But as I already stated upthread, I merely asked a question in IMHO… I did not state any specific agenda, nor do I have one. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fidelity-in-the-age-of-dna-testing/593889.md?page=2)