# Fifty Shades of Grey \[spoilers?\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 22, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518 "2012-03-22T17:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/21 "2012-06-03T21:01:40Z")
I’m a happily married guy who started reading it but gave up after the first book. Before reading it I thought it appealed to both women and men, and maybe the polls show that. But after book 1 it didn’t appeal to me and I thought maybe it appeals more to women. Maybe this is why. Maybe not. > [@tim314](#): > > My wife, who’s a big fan of (in her words) “trashy romance novels”, thought it was great. Her description was basically: more kink than the typical mainstream romance novel, more plot than the typical kinky romance novel. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/22 "2012-06-03T21:32:13Z")
A woman in my on-line book group said “It’s gross and badly written and trashy but I just can’t stop reading!” I felt that way about the Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop. I could recognize that there wasn’t much literary value, but I felt some kind of emotional connection. It’s hard to explain. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/23 "2012-06-12T06:32:35Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > It’s a fantasy. Liking a war novel does not mean you want to enlist in the Army. Liking a murder mystery does not mean you want to quit your job and become a private eye. A lot of things make good idle fantasies, but are not necessarily things you want to actually do. True, but the traditional way to introduce the possibly of a new -ah- recreational activity to a partner, while giving yourself plausible deniability, is to arrange for you and them to watch a movie containing examples of the activity of interest. Then you can casually ask about it as the credits roll. And then she can demand to know if you had her watch that whole movie just to ask that question, and you can wuss out and deny it, and she can get mad, but look very slightly disappointed, and even after your inevitable divorce you can wonder if that look was ‘disappointed in you for bringing it up’, or ‘disappointed in you for being too spineless to actually go through with it.’ – And unlike real life war and real life murder, spanking is actually pretty fun in real life. So are rope harnesses. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/24 "2012-06-12T09:07:11Z")
Women discover porn. In other news, I was reading steamier stuff in Penthouse Forum when I was 14. ---
**Author:** ![Scougs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scougs/32/3158_2.png) [@Scougs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scougs)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/25 "2012-06-30T21:49:09Z")
Didn’t want to start a new thread, but I just finished the third book and wanted to share an observation. There are loads of faults with the books, but I noticed something I found odd about half way through book two. She never mentions his balls. His “erection” gets pretty good coverage, as does his “happy trail”, and she’s more than keen to talk about her new found BJ skills. But the poor bloke gets zero fondling, nuzzling, tongue action or anything in the nut department. It’s as if he doesn’t have any. I’m a woman who enjoys a good bit of erotica, and part of the enjoyment is the “ooh, that sounds like fun”, or even getting a few tips (if you’ll pardon the pun). But for an allegedly very steamy book, this falls far short by neglecting part of every man’s favourite playthings. Did anyone else notice this? Any other observations? ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/26 "2012-07-01T01:11:18Z")
I have a Nook, and it offered a 66 page sample of this book. If the first 66 pages of dreck are any indication of the quality of the entire series, I’m noting every poster that managed to plow through this. Y’know, for “the record”… ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/27 "2012-07-01T02:39:27Z")
I heard about this book from my mother. I have no idea why she brought it up; I certainly don’t discuss _my_ porn with _her_. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/28 "2012-07-01T04:00:49Z")
I’m just ticked off that I didn’t get off my butt and finish a novel-length piece of erotica. It’s a flavour I used to really enjoy writing: older man/younger woman, dominance, and lots and lots of sex. I even had steamy emails in my stuff. If I weren’t so lazy, I could have been that author. Maybe. I’ve read bits of it, and it didn’t really grab me. Perhaps it’s those sour grapes I was nibbling at the time. 🙂 But I’ve read better erotica, and I think I’ve written better. But I didn’t work hard enough to finish something longer and try and get it out there. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/29 "2012-07-01T04:15:04Z")
Read it, went through all the books because it was like watching a train wreck. The smut is horrible and I just started skipping the sex scenes, but I was interested in christian’s past. Spoiler for all 3 books: I really wanted Elena to just be a confident domme who was just friends now with Christian, instead of a villain. Just so the heroine wasn’t perfect and her total jealousy unfounded. ---
**Author:** ![Scougs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scougs/32/3158_2.png) [@Scougs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scougs)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/30 "2012-07-01T14:51:05Z")
Kushiel, I agree with you 100%. Especially the plot point you’ve spoilered. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/31 "2012-07-01T15:58:31Z")
**This post contains open spoilers because I don’t think these plot points are important enough to spoiler box, but just in case, here’s a warning.** I read the first book and kind of enjoyed it, despite it having bad grammar/punctuation and being an obvious, thinly veiled Twilight knock-off. I read the second book but skipped large chunks of it, as there were a lot of things that pissed me off. Ana’s baseless jealousy of Leila and Elena (always calling her a pedophile, while she was technically an ephebophile (and while under the law, it’s still statutory rape, I have a feeling Christian was more than capable of telling her off if he so chose)). Christian’s ridiculous possessiveness and controlling nature were _huge_ red flags. He bought the company she works for, and changed policy just so she can’t go on a business trip with her sleazy boss. And, of course, Christian was right about the boss pretty much being a rapist. Another issue I have is this: why is a _billionaire_ instantly obsessed/in love with this plain, ordinary girl? What makes her so special that she “cures” his various issues within about a month? Ana is a massive mary sue, and it shows. The third book I skimmed very quickly, and from what I could see, it was more of the same. Sex in elevators, being pissed at each other, make-up sex, imminent danger just to pad out the plot, yadda yadda blah. And if I have to read about her inner goddess or her subconscious glaring at her disapprovingly or dancing the macarena or some other stupid shit one more time, I will…do something violent. I guess I get the appeal of the first book, sort of. I did start to like the characters, or at least Christian, as time went on. There’s no need to read the last two in the series, though, as it only gets worse. [Here’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FV-nuhlB5A) a very funny dramatic reading of one of the sex scenes from the first book. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/32 "2012-07-01T16:45:57Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > A woman in my on-line book group said “It’s gross and badly written and trashy but I just can’t stop reading!” > > I felt that way about the Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop. I could recognize that there wasn’t much literary value, but I felt some kind of emotional connection. It’s hard to explain. I’ve heard much the same about Twilight. ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/33 "2012-07-01T17:48:41Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > \*\* [Here’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FV-nuhlB5A) a very funny dramatic reading of one of the sex scenes from the first book. Thank you for the link! I regret never knowing this was a thing we could do, back when I was drinking. The world is probably a better place because I never thought of it, though. I came across [another fun one](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhWrsVlNgVo&feature=related) too. My 60-year-old hairdresser literally _became a reader and bought a Kindle_ because of this series! Once I learned it was Twilight fanfic I never bothered to check it out, but with Evil Captor’s endorsement, I may just have to download a sample. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/34 "2012-07-01T18:31:00Z")
This, from the Daily Beast article linked above: > [@](#): > > In fact, if I were a member of the Christian right, sitting on my front porch decrying the decadent morals of working American women, what would be most alarming about the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena, what gives it its true edge of desperation, and end-of-the-world ambience, is that millions of otherwise intelligent women are willing to tolerate prose on this level. If you are willing to slog through sentences like “In spite of my poignant sadness, I laugh,” or “My world is crumbling around me into a sterile pile of ashes, all my hopes and dreams cruelly dashed,” you must really, really, want to get to the submissive sex scene. Do people not know that there is _better_ erotica/porn out there? When your prose is more painful than your S&M, I’m just not going to bother. (My daughter says, “This just shows that Twilight fans are now old enough to read porn!”) ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/35 "2012-07-02T04:52:02Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > A woman in my on-line book group said “It’s gross and badly written and trashy but I just can’t stop reading!” > > I felt that way about the Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop. I could recognize that there wasn’t much literary value, but I felt some kind of emotional connection. It’s hard to explain. I know it lacks literary value, but goddamn, does Anne Bishop know how to manipulate readers into caring about the characters. For 50 Shades, I kept reading to find out Christian’s big trauma. But for the BJT I kept on reading because I genuinely cared. I dunno, I feel like comparing the two does a disservice to Bishop. She understands certain points of writing the 50 Shades author doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/36 "2012-07-02T05:25:33Z")
> [@kushiel](#): > > I know it lacks literary value, but goddamn, does Anne Bishop know how to manipulate readers into caring about the characters. For 50 Shades, I kept reading to find out Christian’s big trauma. But for the BJT I kept on reading because I genuinely cared. I dunno, I feel like comparing the two does a disservice to Bishop. She understands certain points of writing the 50 Shades author doesn’t. I remember after finishing the second book of the BJT, being destroyed by how it ended, and absolutely dying to know how it turned out. I have to say I’ve never been so strongly affected by a cliffhanger since. But for some reason I never read the third book. It’s been a few years, but I may need to start from the first book again to get up the necessary anguish to enjoy the finale and the subsequent books. Thanks for reminding me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/37 "2012-08-09T11:55:47Z")
So Bret Easton Ellis, who \* \* wants to write the screenplay for _50 Shades_ but hasn’t actually landed the gig yet, has tweeted that Matt Bomer is all wrong for Christian. Why? He’s openly [gay](http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2012/08/bret-easton-ellis-says-matt-bomer-is-too-gay-for-fifty-shades-of-grey-why-should-elliss-opinion-matt.html), of course. Ellis claims not to be homophobic, he just believes the actor who plays Christian should be “an intensely straight actor” who is “genuinely into women”. Because, obviously, [gay](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2676147/) [people](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000439/) [can’t](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0528331/) [play](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001369/) [straight](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1165660/). :dubious: I find his claims of not being homophobic a little dubious, since I doubt he would say the same about a straight actor playing a gay person. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/38 "2012-08-09T12:47:12Z")
My inner goddess laughed at the horrible writing. It did lead to that Gilbert Gottfried reading, which makes it all worthwhile though. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/39 "2012-08-10T20:30:30Z")
I’ve been following the general weirdness inspired by 50 Shades of Gray on my blog. It’s been FASCINATING. It’s been claimed that the novel has sparked a [baby boom](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2168765/Fifty-50-Shades-Grey-EL-James-books-spark-baby-boom.html?ito=feeds-newsxml). It’s been claimed that the novel’s sales, and the sales of sex toys inspired it, will [save the economy](http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/140890/50_shades_of_grey_bondage). A British power company has launched an energy conservation campaign called [50 Shades of Green](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/comment/citydiary/9422494/npowers-50-Shades-of-Grey-rip-off-will-turn-you-green-at-the-gills.html). Penguin books, whose profits are down by 50 percent this year, claims that 50 Shades of Grays’ sales has distorted the adult book market. A TV station in Ohio promoted a [communal book burning ceremon](http://www.wgrz.com/news/article/175194/1/Husbands-Burn-50-Shades-of-Grey-Books)y for 50 Shades of Gray by husbands, in what can only be called a communal celebration of dicklessness. It’s a weird world out there, and 50 Shades of Gray is making it weirder every day. ---
**Author:** ![DoperChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@DoperChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoperChic)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518/40 "2012-08-10T23:58:07Z")
For all of you who say that there is so much better erotica out there, mind sharing? I have found one other similar series but it’s so much worse it makes 50 shades look like classic literature. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fifty-shades-of-grey-spoilers/616518.md?page=3)