# Fight!  Fight!  Fight!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 23, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037 "2005-09-23T13:25:52Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 13\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/21 "2005-09-24T10:51:02Z")

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> [@LSLGuy](#):
>
> He came up from behind armed with a fish filetting knife and grabbed the camera. I never carried it with the strap around my neck for just that reason. I spun around and he had my camera lens barrel in one hand and his knife in the other, coming my way. I grabbed his knife wrist with my off hand, let go of the camera, pulled out my issue sheath knife and disemboweled him on the spot.
> 
> Do I win?

Not sure about you winning or not, but how many pages of incident report do you have to write?

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/22 "2005-09-24T14:20:20Z")

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I was such a nerd in school it wasn’t funny. When I transferred to Atlanta I’d keep a pencil tucked behind my ear. One guy kept stealing it from me between classes.

So one day he did it, and I stewed in class about it, got fed up, left class early and confronted him in the bathroom where he’d hang out dealing weed and he laid me out: KOW! We started wrestling in the hallways. Then I screamed, picked him up in the air under his legs, ran through the double doors in the upstairs hallway, and threw his ass over the balcony on the stairs below. We’re talking a good 15-20 foot fall here, folks. He hit the stairs – SPLAT – started screaming about his head and his back. This is when the class bell rang and people came out to see what was going on.

I was so terrified by what I did (and being kicked out of school for it) that I ran out – skipped school for the next three days, waiting for the ax to fall. I just knew I was going to be expelled. That was Thursday. When I still hadn’t heard anything from the school by the following Tuesday, I went back to school. This is what I found out I missed:

Dude I threw over the balcony was taken to the hospital and refused to tell any of the administrators who did this to him because he was appalled that a nerd like me did it. Evidentally none of the (few) witnesses were cooperating either – most of them did not know me. So he went home, talked to his brother, a notorious drug dealer, into coming to school and kicking my ass. Since the drug dealer used to go to our school, he agreed, and pulled a crew of about three other guys looking for my ass after school Thursday and again on Friday. On Friday the older brother realized he’d left some enemies behind and got into it with them, too and was escorted by school security off the grounds. Meanwhile this fool threw this big ass pot party that weekend and got a lot of the girls from school to go, including some football players’ girlfriends. Reportedly some girl got slipped something in her drink and was raped in the back bedroom. She cried to her boyfriend and between him and the football teams, these dudes was out for blood.

So when the drug dealers came back on campus looking for me Monday, the football squad gang-piled them and kicked their asses. The dude whose girl was raped was choking the dude who threw the party. The Atlanta Police was called in, the Red-Dog Squad was called in, they suspended classes because one guy had a gun and they had to do a search because another one was supposedly stashed in somebody’s locker – it was a mess. Arrests were made, people were expelled and a couple of players got suspended from the team.

I of course was the only one who didn’t get kicked out of school. 😃

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/23 "2005-09-24T16:28:55Z")

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Askia, you’ve beat any fight story I could tell. And I worked in Attica.

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/24 "2005-09-24T17:00:53Z")

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One of these days I’m going to break down and get me a sig line, and I got a feeling yours is in the top 3, **Little Nemo.**

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**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/25 "2005-09-24T17:12:41Z")

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I’ve never been in a fight.

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/26 "2005-09-24T17:19:06Z")

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\*:: Smacks \*_DarkFloyd \*\* upside the head::_

No need to thank me.

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/27 "2005-09-24T17:20:42Z")

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Oops. Before a moderator jumps on me about changing someone’s username, I collapsed **Dark Side of The Floyd’s** name accident.

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**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/28 "2005-09-24T17:24:05Z")

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> [@Dark Side of the Floyd](#):
>
> I’ve never been in a fight.

Me, too.

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/29 "2005-09-24T17:27:20Z")

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_:: Whaps **dare\_devil007\_** with a rolled-up newspaper ::_

I sense a trend.

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**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/30 "2005-09-24T17:36:38Z")

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> [@Askia](#):
>
> \*:: Smacks \*_DarkFloyd \*\* upside the head::_
> 
> No need to thank me.

:sits passively:

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/31 "2005-09-24T17:48:26Z")

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OooooooOoooooooh. Nonviolent resistance. Cute.

You got to get up to go to the bathroom sometime. 😃

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**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/32 "2005-09-25T07:43:29Z")

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Don’t make me come over there, **Askia**. 😃

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**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-fight-fight/323037/33 "2005-09-25T12:03:04Z")

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> [@ExtraKun](#):
>
> Not sure about you winning or not, but how many pages of incident report do you have to write?

Between the paperwork I did for the USAF and the paperwork for the host country police, and their final reports to each other, in both languages, it came to just about 1/2", not counting drafts.

It’d probably have been lots less if I’d been killed and he’d got the camera instead.

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