# Fight to the death: which animal team would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2014, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325 "2014-07-04T05:47:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/1 "2014-07-04T05:47:35Z")
your life is on the line. you have to choose a creature to represent you in a fight to the death in a colosseum. which would you choose? Rules: [ul] [li] only real, existing creatures allowed. [/li][li] _after_ both you and your opponent have chosen your champions, the one with the smaller mass can enter a multiple of their choice until it matches their opponent’s. ie, you can field two 50kgs vs a 100kg. [/li][li] the chosen creature must be a minimum of 1kg. [/li][li] chosen creatures will enrage and fight to the death without targeting their own team, though they may not necessarily work together. [/li][li] the arena will be empty. no weapons, tools or props.[/li] [/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/2 "2014-07-04T06:06:20Z")
Pack of wolves. Or hyenas - hyenas have incredibly powerful jaws. ---
**Author:** ![Fishtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed655f/32.png) [@Fishtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fishtar)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/3 "2014-07-04T06:15:06Z")
So if someone chooses an elephant, I can have 5,000 snakes? I take the snakes. ---
**Author:** ![Fishtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed655f/32.png) [@Fishtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fishtar)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/4 "2014-07-04T06:44:29Z")
> [@Fishtar](#): > > So if someone chooses an elephant, I can have 5,000 snakes? I take the snakes. Change that to falcons. Air power. Can rain shit down on everybody if nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/5 "2014-07-04T06:59:19Z")
Can the colosseum be underwater? ---
**Author:** ![kk\_fusion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kk_fusion/32/15276_2.png) [@kk\_fusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kk_fusion)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/6 "2014-07-04T07:09:22Z")
A swarm of birds, if enraged Hitchcock-style, could probably kill anything of equal weight. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/7 "2014-07-04T07:12:52Z")
Honey badger. Where do I collect my winnings? ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/8 "2014-07-04T07:28:32Z")
> [@Fishtar](#): > > So if someone chooses an elephant, I can have 5,000 snakes? I take the snakes. yup. _if_ the person were to choose a snake. good luck to you if he chose a mongoose. > [@bldysabba](#): > > Can the colosseum be underwater? i was thinking just sand to keep it simple, but for fun, let’s change it so the terrain will adjust accordingly. waters will rise just enough to accomodate the height of your water-dwelling creature. > [@RobDog](#): > > Honey badger. > > Where do I collect my winnings? an eagle would be able to pick it up and drop it from height. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/9 "2014-07-04T07:39:33Z")
OK then, I’ll have a honey badger strapped to an eagle. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/10 "2014-07-04T07:42:39Z")
no combos. your initial choice must be a single creature only. ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/11 "2014-07-04T09:59:24Z")
I was going to say grizzly bear until I read the thing about the weight, but now I guess I’ll say wolverine. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/12 "2014-07-04T10:19:03Z")
Give me a pit bull ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/13 "2014-07-04T10:58:51Z")
I’m going with the honey badger. At between 9-16kg for an adult male they’d be 2 to 1 against a pitbull, 10 to 1 against a Lion or tiger and 10-20 to 1 against a bear depending on the type. An eagle may be able to swoop and pick up a honey badger but they’d have a hell of a time hanging one. I’d be tempted to go for the inland taipan, but even at around 1kg each 45 minutes to kill something is too long in a battle to the death ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/14 "2014-07-04T11:45:56Z")
I was going to say pythons but then I thought about elephant and realized he’d stomp them to death. Pythons would have to get pretty lucky to win that one. Badgers on the other hand would just keep biting the legs until it eventually went down and then it’s game over. Badgers Vs. python - gotta go badgers, python can only take care of one badger at a time and he’s vulnerable while he’s doing it. Badgers Vs. polar bear would be interesting but I’m betting on badger. Badgers vs. eagle would be close depending upon the size of the eagle. If it’s a harpy eagle, let’s say 15 lbs. that’s like a 1 on 1. Hmm… I think badger looses that one. But can the eagles kill the elephant or the polar bear? Hell, I’ll go elephant and hope he can hold out against the badgers. ---
**Author:** ![Fishtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed655f/32.png) [@Fishtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fishtar)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/15 "2014-07-04T13:05:11Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > … an eagle would be able to pick it up and drop it from height. > [@](#): > > “A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.” > > King Arthur … ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/16 "2014-07-04T13:11:24Z")
Gonna have to go with the old ‘swarm of deadly poisonous spiders’ for this one I think. Even if they can’t pierce the hide of some creatures they can just swarm down its throat and do some damage. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/17 "2014-07-04T13:23:56Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Gonna have to go with the old ‘swarm of deadly poisonous spiders’ for this one I think. Even if they can’t pierce the hide of some creatures they can just swarm down its throat and do some damage. OP says 1 kg minimum individual weight. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/18 "2014-07-04T13:27:39Z")
[_Clostridium botulinum_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clostridium_botulinum). A whole bunch of 'em. Edit: Crap—missed the 1kg weight minimum. Back to the drawing board… ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/19 "2014-07-04T13:44:37Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > i was thinking just sand to keep it simple, but for fun, let’s change it so the terrain will adjust accordingly. waters will rise just enough to accomodate the height of your water-dwelling creature. Nile crocodile. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/20 "2014-07-04T13:51:42Z")
Baboons can be pretty fearsome. I’m thinking I might go with that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325.md?page=2)