# Fight to the death: which animal team would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2014, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325 "2014-07-04T05:47:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/21 "2014-07-04T13:53:54Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Badgers … Badgers … badgers … badger … Badgers … badger … Badgers … badger … badgers. Mushroom, mushroom > [@](#): > > I was going to say pythons but then I thought about elephant and realized he’d stomp them to death. Pythons would have to get pretty lucky to win that one. Aaaaaaah a snake! ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/22 "2014-07-04T13:54:37Z")
Dogs like German Sheperds are hard-biting, fast, agile, smart and will work together. I might also say lion (if there are several as they would work together) or tiger if it’s just one (since they wouldn’t work together) but that would risk summoning the would-a-tiger-beat-a-lion guy who used to post here. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/23 "2014-07-04T14:14:07Z")
I’m taking my chances with team **Hippopotamus**. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/24 "2014-07-04T14:21:05Z")
Very few wild animals will engage intentionally engage in a fight to the death. They prefer to win without a real contest or backdown and run. Thats what makes the honey badger formidable . He will often challenge things much bigger knowing he doesn’t really stand a chance of winning if his opponet does choose to fight. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/25 "2014-07-04T14:28:08Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Give me a pit bull i am … vaguely disappointed by your choice. > [@Fishtar](#): > > … Quote: > “A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.” > > King Arthur … whelp. there goes that plan. that simply reduces a sure thing to uncertainty though. > [@zoid](#): > > OP says 1 kg minimum individual weight. plus the fact that these are enraged creatures, not mind-controlled. i’m not sure feeding itself to the enemy would be a natural tactic. > [@Ranchoth](#): > > [_Clostridium botulinum_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clostridium_botulinum). > > A whole bunch of 'em. > > Edit: Crap—missed the 1kg weight minimum. Back to the drawing board… i knew someone would suggest bacteria. or insects. 😉 > [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > … I might also say lion (if there are several as they would work together) or tiger if it’s just one (since they wouldn’t work together) but that would risk summoning the would-a-tiger-beat-a-lion guy who used to post here. citation needed. preferably several and in bulk. > [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Very few wild animals will engage intentionally engage in a fight to the death. They prefer to win without a real contest or backdown and run. Thats what makes the honey badger formidable . He will often challenge things much bigger knowing he doesn’t really stand a chance of winning if his opponet does choose to fight. hence the creatures would be magically enraged for the hypothetical. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/26 "2014-07-04T14:51:21Z")
A few musings: Elephants are really big and (more importantly) really scary. Most other animals will be individually afraid of the elephant, and will do nothing but attempt to flee it. Even most animals which don’t attempt to flee, the elephant will simply be able to trample en masse. The only things which probably have a chance against the elephant are disciplined pack hunters, and small venomous creatures of which a few will attempt biting. Humans are excellent strategists, and can coordinate their actions far better than even wolves. We’re probably one of those few things that could take on the elephant. But we’re going to be at a significant disadvantage if deprived of our natural weaponry, when our opponents aren’t (made tools are a human’s natural weaponry). Venomous snakes are a pretty good bet. We’ll probably have a lot of them, and a single bite (from the right species) can be lethal. Because we’ll have so many, we have a pretty good chance that one will deliver that lethal bite. Polygoose are good against venomous snakes, but not against much else. And can they take on their full weight in snakes all at once? I don’t know. Similarly, while honey badgers famously don’t give a shit about the bite of a single snake, they probably would given bites from their weight in snakes. Various flying animals could escape almost anything other than other flyers, but I don’t think they’d have the wherewithal to harm most land creatures, either. They could drop stones on them, but I don’t know if any flyers are smart enough to plan that out… plus, if the birds get stones, then the humans do, too, and it’s game over for everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/27 "2014-07-04T19:33:43Z")
Rhino. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/28 "2014-07-04T19:45:14Z")
I’m a little unclear about the choosing. Do I pick an animal not knowing what my opponent is picking, and vice-versa? ---
**Author:** ![Raging\_Bull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@Raging\_Bull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raging_Bull)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/29 "2014-07-04T20:01:28Z")
The Crocodile. It beat evolution, its sure to take on any animals of your choosing, natures ultimate killing machine, any surface, any place, any time. Ants could also be a good shout, ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/30 "2014-07-04T20:48:40Z")
Lions will take on elephants and have the advantages of superior mobility and teamwork. There’s a reason why lions are the apex land predators in Africa. In a river, I’d take the hippo. At sea, I’ll go for the orca, because it’s more intelligent than the great white shark. And the sky belongs to the golden eagle. I don’t believe it’s fair to mix environments. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/31 "2014-07-04T20:52:59Z")
Whale. I’d assume that almost everyone would pick a land creature (probably a mammal), so they’d all be drowned when they went in to attack my whale. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/32 "2014-07-04T21:03:00Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Whale. I’d assume that almost everyone would pick a land creature (probably a mammal), so they’d all be drowned when they went in to attack my whale. My initial choice was killer whale, so that’d have you beat at least. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/33 "2014-07-04T21:04:33Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Lions will take on elephants Lions will not take on an adult elephant. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/34 "2014-07-04T21:58:59Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I don’t believe it’s fair to mix environments. Kinda like “Rock Paper Scissors”, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/35 "2014-07-05T01:03:38Z")
> [@bldysabba](#): > > Lions will not take on an adult elephant. Ordinarily not, but lions have been known to prey on adult elephants: [http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2011/03/15/older-elephants-know-the-best-anti-lion-moves/#.U7dN55RdVA0](http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2011/03/15/older-elephants-know-the-best-anti-lion-moves/#.U7dN55RdVA0) Apparently it’s a matter of learned skill: a pride of lions that have become experienced elephant hunters can pose a serious threat to a lone elephant; while elephants that are old and experienced enough to know how to deal with lions have been known to attack and kill them. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/36 "2014-07-05T02:50:58Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Ordinarily not, but lions have been known to prey on adult elephants: [http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2011/03/15/older-elephants-know-the-best-anti-lion-moves/#.U7dN55RdVA0](http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2011/03/15/older-elephants-know-the-best-anti-lion-moves/#.U7dN55RdVA0) > > Apparently it’s a matter of learned skill: a pride of lions that have become experienced elephant hunters can pose a serious threat to a lone elephant; while elephants that are old and experienced enough to know how to deal with lions have been known to attack and kill them. Ok, apparently they attack, but are successful only when attacking young males that are not grown but are separate from the herd. I tried searching, but did not find any instance of a fully grown healthy elephant being hunted successfully by lions. [http://johnhawks.net/weblog/reviews/life\_history/risk/lion\_elephant\_predation\_2006.html](http://johnhawks.net/weblog/reviews/life_history/risk/lion_elephant_predation_2006.html) > [@](#): > > I’m reading a bit about risk in large animal hunting, and I ran across an article by Dereck Joubert on elephant hunting by lions in Botswana : > > Over the 4 years, we observed a total of 74 elephants killed by lions, including eleven elephants in 1993, seventeen in 1994, nineteen in 1995, and 27 in 1996, suggesting an increasing hunting success rate. All the elephants killed, with one exception, were from breeding herds (females and young). The exception was an adult bull, previously wounded by another bull, who remained alive for several days before eventually being killed by the lions. The great majority of the young elephants killed were males, and two-thirds of the kills were of elephants in the age range 4-15 years, with highest hunting success achieved for elephants aged 4-9 years (Table 1). ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/37 "2014-07-05T05:28:04Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Rhino. I want a Mulligan. On second thought, I want The Dachshund! Pound for pound, these mother-fuckers are stone cold killers! Bred to hunt badgers with the attitude to back it up. Tenacious, fearless and you would get quite a few against other critters by weight. The cutest killing squad you can imagine. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/38 "2014-07-05T12:48:32Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > … The only things which probably have a chance against the elephant are disciplined pack hunters, and small venomous creatures of which a few will attempt biting. … can snakes even get through the elephant’s skin? i wonder which of these fair best against snakes: elephants. rhinos or hippos. > [@Lumpy](#): > > I’m a little unclear about the choosing. Do I pick an animal not knowing what my opponent is picking, and vice-versa? it kinda have to be this way isn’t it? otherwise players will just keep changing their selection. > [@Raging\_Bull](#): > > The Crocodile. > > It beat evolution, its sure to take on any animals of your choosing, natures ultimate killing machine, any surface, any place, any time. … ahem - [National Geographic](http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/news/jaguar-attacks-crocodile) ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/39 "2014-07-05T13:14:27Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I want a Mulligan. On second thought, I want The Dachshund! Pound for pound, these mother-fuckers are stone cold killers! > > Bred to hunt badgers with the attitude to back it up. Tenacious, fearless and you would get quite a few against other critters by weight. > > The cutest killing squad you can imagine. Geeze, now I’m imagining an elephant stomping around in circles making dachshund wine. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325/40 "2014-07-05T13:18:49Z")
If I can flood the area, I want sharks! Sharks with frikkin lasers on their heads! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fight-to-the-death-which-animal-team-would-you-choose/692325.md?page=3)