I attended elementary school in Atlanta & Albany, Georgia. I will never forget THE meal: fried bologna topped with a scoop of mashed potatoes with a slice of pasturized process american cheesefood stuff melted on top of that. gaaah. It was utterly disgusting. My husband (Polish AND a Yankee–need I say more? :)) loves fried bologna, but he was kind of grossed out by the thought of topping it with mashed potatoes and fake cheese.
It was called lasagna. It was, in fact, vegetarian lasagna, which is an abomination in mine eyes, and we will speak no more of it. Ptui. 
I knew a woman who knew she was allergic to eggs at a young age, but thought until she was an adult that she was allergic to hamburger because every time she’d eat a hamburger, her mouth would swell up just like with eggs.
Then she discovered that all those years her mom didn’t believe she was *really[i/] allergic so would mix an egg in with her burgers.
If my mother did that to me, I think I’d get off from my matricide with the time-honored plea, “She deserved killin’!”
See, that’s what I don’t get - that people don’t believe other people’s food dislikes or allergies. That way of thinking just blows my mind. What’s there to not believe - why would someone lie about disliking or being allergic to a food?
A hot dog is a HOT dog. You eat it hot. With ketchup.
Bologna is a COLD cut. You eat it cold. With Miracle Whip.
Tampering with the fundamental nature of these items could very well rip a hole in space and time and propel the world as we know it into a horrifying parallel universe where Julia Childs is a can-can dancer and Emeril has a lounge act in Branson, Missouri.
Besides, cooking hot dogs doesn’t make the whole house reek like pork ass the way bologna does.
If you were blindfolded, I’m willing to bet you couldn’t tell the difference between cold, diced hot dogs and cold, diced bologna; same-same for both products diced and fried.
Famous last words…
“I know you don’t like [fjood stuff], but you can’t taste it in this”
I’ve always found that if you don’t like something you can ALWAYS taste it in your food.
I can’t stand any food cooked with cooking wine. People will always tell me it cooks out and you can’t taste it, so I ask, then why put it in. They always answer, “Cause I like the flavor” :smack:
And to refresh your memory, sweet gerkins and not real pickles. They are merely glued together pickle relish. If you fell sweet gerkins are worth eating you should seek psychological help immediately.
More to the point, it can be fucking dangerous. I have a shellfish allergy (as in, lets see if we can get to the hospital in time before he can’t breath anymore allergy) someone sneaking crabmeat into something for me would basically be attempted murder.
Sorry…I’m with the “never fry bologna” crowd. It really skeeves me out when it turns into a little pink dome. Gak! I’m gonna hork just thinking about it.
He preaches the gospel on the gerkin. Those vile little bastards.
Your grasp of logic is dubious at best. You seriously expect me to put pickle relish on a peanut butter sandwich? You are a sick man. Turn yourself in to the nearest insane asylum at your earliest convenience, please.
BTW, I had a PB&P last night. 
In other news…
If you had expressed an allergy to, say, soy sauce, and the person cooking your meal snuck some in “just because he’s picky, he won’t notice”, could you, in fact, charge him with attempted murder? What if you died as a result?
Okay, I’m having a hard time processing this. If someone serves you a meat lasagna and you took a bite that didn’t happen to have meat in that particular bite, would you spit it out?
Don’t be silly. The problem wasn’t explicitly the lack of meat. It was the other ingredients added instead of meat. Strange and arcane “vegetable” matter.
If someone had laced a meat-lasagna with strange and arcane vegetable matter, I would have had the same repulsed reaction. But no one would do that… would they?
A true gourmet is open to all new food experiences, including variations in preparation and combination. Furthermore, the true gourmet lives by the credo: “De Gustibus Non Est Disputandum”.
My ex had a stint as a vegetarian. My specialty is lasagna. So once, for Thanksgiving, I made a lasagna with ground tofu and added fennel.
I thought it was awful but everyone else loved it.
Go figure.
Quite right. Bologna should be nuked!
I once spent seven months in a homeless shelter. Every single day (with the possible exception of Saturday, Sunday, and holidays), lunch was a bologna sandiwch and chips. The only way I could eat my sandwiches is if I popped the bologna in the microwave first.
Folks, I do believe we have a winner here. It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it …