"THE descendants of an English missionary eaten by cannibals in Fiji 136 years ago will receive an apology today at a ceremony to be staged in the village where he met his grisly end.
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Reverend Thomas Baker, from Playden, East Sussex, was killed and devoured in 1867 at Nubutautau, a remote mountain community on Fiji’s main island of Viti Levu.
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Baker was chopped up and served alongside a traditional vegetable dish, with his flesh shared among inhabitants of neighbouring villages. One local reportedly boasted afterwards: “We ate everything but his boots.”
I saw this - I find it quite moving. They’re not entirely altruistic in this gesture though. Apparently they believe the act of cannibalism by their ancestors cursed them with poverty, and by apologising they’re hoping to lift the curse.
In hindsight they probably should have eaten his boots instead, I would never eat a POM, stringy and you never know where they’ve been. A nice plump yank would be nice with some spuds probably, or some spicy mexican…
“Sir, it’s too good at least. But then again, they don’t commit sins of the flesh, so it’s pretty fresh. Good for business, too- always leaves you wanting more. Trouble is, we only get it in Sundays.”
If it was my ancestor, I don’t think that I’d be too upset about it. He was out there fucking around where he had no business being. Plus, he got to be a martyr which is, of course, every missionaries dream come true. Then again, a free trip to Fiji wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I guess I’d go and really play up the guilt.
“They were given the traditional drink of kava”
Even if refusing it would be an insult that could lead to my being eaten, I’d still have second thoughts.
It looks like the guy on the left is thinking, “Hmmm, the ear looks a little chewy but if boiled properly, add a little peppercorn sauce and put it in a nice leafy salad I think…wait, wait, wait! This is what got us in trouble last time! Naughty, bad, evil Zoop! I need a spanking!”
And the guy on the left is thinking, “For some reason I feel that I’m in terrible peril…”
One of those Fijian cannibals did in fact suffer from severe indigestion shortly after devouring the good Reverend Baker. The doctor’s diagnosis was that he must have eaten someone who disagreed with him.
yes, I read that they had apologised to the family ten yearts ago, but it didn’t help.
So that’s why they’re performing this “purge” (no pun intended).
