# Filk **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 19, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/filk/58632 "2001-03-19T23:04:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/filk/58632/1 "2001-03-19T23:04:36Z")
I’ve never been to any cons, but I have been hearing about Filk for years – a genre of sci-fi/fantasy themed folk music, often involving parodies of popular songs. I once tried to write a piece of Filk, but it was poorly received, because few people seemed to be familiar with the tune it was based on. I’m posting it here for the amusement of those who are. To the tune of Bob Dylan’s _Ballad of a Thin Man_: **Ballad of the Lost Ark** You walk out of the jungle with your whip in your hand You see a stream of light and you say, “Stay out of it, man” You tried to warn him but he didn’t understand Just remember your hat when you go He said, "Something is happening here but you don’t know what it is. Do you, Dr. Jones? You run from the temple and say, “Throw me the whip.” He says, “Throw me the idol or you might lose your grip” So you throw him the idol but he don’t throw the whip. He says, “I got something here you used to own And something is happening and you don’t know what it is Do you, Dr. Jones?” You step on a trap and you know you can’t stall Or else you’ll get crushed by a big rolling ball And outside the frenchman has you up against a wall He says, “Everything is mine, you can’t have nothing for your own. Because something is happening here but you don’t know what it is do you, Dr. Jones?” You have a plane waiting with a snake in the back You tell the pilot, “Get rid of it, Jack. You better start the engines or get a blowdart in the back Cause I don’t speak the tongue and they’ve got powerful lungs And they don’t give me no respect, cause I don’t cut 'em any checks But what do you expect, just fly me back to civilization.” Now you’re the professor and the girls all like your looks There’s a girl in the classroom that’s really got you shook Cause she sits in the front row and she ain’t thinking about books And the government agent groans He says, “Something is happening here but we don’t know what it is. Do you, Dr. Jones?” So you flew off to China to catch an old flame She says, “Damn you, Indy, you oughta be ashamed. Nazis burned down my tavern, and you are to blame. If you want my medallion, you better bring me along. And you know something is happening but you don’t know what it is Do you, Dr. Jones?” So you make it to Egypt and you’re wondering how To find the Well of Lost Souls, and you run afowl Of Hitler’s thugs but you’ve got the jump on them anyhow You know they’re digging the wrong hole Cause there’s writing on the amulet and they don’t know what it is Do they, Dr. Jones? Well you find the Ark and the Nazis attack And you use a bazooka trying to get the Ark back But they tie you to a tree with Marion at your back “Close your eyes, girl, they’re about to be shown.” Cause something is happening and you know just what it is Don’t you, Dr. Jones? ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/filk/58632/2 "2001-03-20T03:50:43Z")
I had the pleasure to perform at a concert that also featured a woman named Marylin who could not only sing the Original Star Trek lyrics flawlessly, but also performed a Star Trek based filk as such: (Alas I can only paraphrase the first verse and chorus) My Favorite Thugs [sup]_(Sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things”.)[/sup]_ Klingons out flying in dirty old spaceships, Romulan cruisers out on their day trips. Malkotians wearing hats that look like rugs, these are a few of my favorite thugs. sup[/sup] If there’s fighting in the quadrants, I’ll not scream nor shout. I’ll get together my favorite thugs, and wipe all the others out… If anyone would email me the lyrics I’d be grateful. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/filk/58632/3 "2001-03-20T03:55:21Z")
Zenster - Lemme check around for ya…I’ve got some friends who adore Star Trek, and they’ll either know the lyrics, or know someone who does. If all else fails, I have a con in two weeks…I’ll ask there. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/filk/58632/4 "2001-03-20T04:29:20Z")
Muchas gracias, you wonderful raptor-like creature. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/filk/58632/5 "2001-03-20T21:23:56Z")
Well, this wasn’t exactly filk, more like parody, but over 25 years ago I saw a performance of a one-act “star Trek” musical written to the lyrics of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “HMS Pinafore” It was called(duh) “HMS Trekstar” This was in Monterey, California. On the extremely miniscule chance that there is someone out there who also saw it, performed in it, or knows SOMETHING about it, I’d appreciate hearing from them. Sorry for the hijack, but after I read the OP I thought someone who was interested in filk might just possibly also know about the musical. Imagine, “We boldly go where men, have never gone before us…” and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/filk/58632/6 "2001-03-20T22:28:36Z")
That’s pretty good, **Johnny** –I’d like to hear that one performed. The only bit of filk I’ve written was “One Frob”, a Zork filk to the tune of “One World” by Dire Straits–fortunately for the world, I’ve lost the notebook I wrote it in, and can only remember the refrain: “Can’t get no antidote for…gru-u-ues.” \ A fragment of a filk song has been nagging at me for days. I can’t remember where I encountered it, although I think I read it somewhere (as I can’t recall any melody). Hopefully, someone in this august assemblage will be able to name it for me. The only snip I remember is something like: “I’m the only swab what ever jumped ship/From Vandervecken’s crew” I think it had a “wanderer” theme, and the Flying Dutchman reference is obvious. I’d like to find the rest of it, if anyone recognizes it. \ \ **Baker** , the musical is listed as appearing in the first issue of the fanzine “Rune” on [this](http://www.mypage.onemain.com/makeitgoaway/SF.htm) fanzine site. I think you can order a copy from them. \