# Finally - a bigger penis. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920 "2002-12-11T02:43:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/41 "2002-12-16T19:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pohjonen \* > \*\*Is that plural for penis? Or would it be penii? Oh well. \*\* I believe the plural for penis is **cocks**. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/42 "2002-12-16T21:40:16Z")
I get the penis-enhancement as well as the breast enhancement (You too can grow your breasts an entire cup size!!) spams, along with the ā€œYou can look 10-20 years younger if you pay us an exorbitant amount of money!ā€ spams. So if I wanted to, I could magically transform into a she-male with DDD breasts and a huge penis who appears to be anywhere from ages 3 to 13. Sign me right the fuck up! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/43 "2002-12-16T21:54:38Z")
> [@](#): > > So if I wanted to, I could magically transform into a she-male with DDD breasts and a huge penis who appears to be anywhere from ages 3 to 13. I believe thereā€™s a hentai fetish that involves just that very subject. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/44 "2002-12-16T22:04:09Z")
You should see what it did to my cat. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/45 "2002-12-17T02:31:51Z")
> [@](#): > > **Demise** : I believe the plural for penis is cocks. No, itā€™s penises. > [@](#): > > **lieu** : You should see what it did to my cat. So thatā€™s where mine went. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/46 "2002-12-17T02:53:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pohjonen \* > \*\*I received this email. > > This Doctor Approved Pill Will Actually Expand, Lengthen And Enlarge Your Penis Safely \*\* * * * Harumph. At least you got a pill. I did one of the early ones, the surgical procedure. What they did was transplant the trunk of a baby elephant onto my groin. The first time that I went out on a date after the surgery was very embarrassing, because while we were sitting at the table, the trunk unzipped my fly and grabbed a dinner roll off the table. The lady I was with was, quite understandably, very amazed and asked for a repeat performance. The trunk obliged. But I had to turn her down when she asked for another, because there wasnā€™t enough room up my ass for another dinner roll. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Gui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@El\_Gui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Gui)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/47 "2002-12-17T03:25:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SandyHook \* > \*\*Laugh if you wish but it works. For the past few months Iā€™ve been using these pills along with viagra and I havenā€™t rolled out of bed once during the night. \*\* or been able to roll over! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/48 "2002-12-17T13:32:51Z")
If it grows big enough can I claim it as a tax deduction? If not, can it at least be used as a rototiller in my garden? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/49 "2002-12-17T14:18:49Z")
I do believe they can be beaten into plowshares. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/50 "2002-12-17T17:10:38Z")
Yā€™know, I think I was sittinā€™ next to Clothahump at the movies the other day. I was WONDERING what was eating all my damn popcornā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/51 "2002-12-17T20:45:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Xavier \* > **No, itā€™s penises.** Uh, yeah, I know. I was making a little funny. Tee hee hee and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/52 "2002-12-17T21:16:18Z")
**Demise** bud, a lotta what I say is just there for sillyness. Or to be silly on someone elseā€™s sillyness. This was one of those occasions (insert smiley here). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/53 "2002-12-17T21:33:59Z")
When I opened this thread, I got a pop up add for male enhancement pills. Coincidence? ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/54 "2002-12-17T21:45:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Xavier \* > \*\ ***Demise** bud, a lotta what I say is just there for sillyness. Or to be silly on someone elseā€™s sillyness. This was one of those occasions (insert smiley here). \*\* Ahh. I donā€™t get whooshed too often. Congrats. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/55 "2002-12-17T22:01:06Z")
I never get these emails. I think Iā€™m missing out on the whole internet experience. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/56 "2002-12-18T00:29:28Z")
Yeah, for a dollar 29 you can buy my used underwear on e-bay. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/57 "2002-12-18T04:12:04Z")
ā€¦you never get these emails? Lorā€™, I have one email box that gets nearly nothing except: (a) Offers to sell me drugs that will give me erections like a length of steel pipe, (b) Offers to sell me a special secret that will enlarge my dick beyond the ken of mortal man, Ā© As (b), except instead of a bigger dick, theyā€™re trying to sell me bigger tits, (d) Offers to sell me pictures of \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*, nude; (\*Britney Spears) (\*Jennifer Lopez) (\*Martha Stewart) (\*all of the above, furiously engaging in kinky sex, all together, all at the same time) ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/58 "2002-12-18T13:08:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > \*\*ā€¦you never get these emails? > > \*\* Nope, nary a one. If I could find the secret to my email invisibility, Iā€™d bottle it and sell it. Soon Iā€™ll be rich, RICH I tell you! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/59 "2002-12-18T23:29:22Z")
[Anti-spam legislation opposed by powerful penis-enlargement lobby](http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/cq/124.html) ---
**Author:** ![senor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@senor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/senor)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2002, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920/60 "2002-12-30T12:21:13Z")
Hola! I enjoy my penis because when I need to pee, I just stand up and go, no bathroom required. SENOR [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-a-bigger-penis/141920.md?page=4)