# Finally. Katie Holmes has given birth **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 18, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227 "2006-04-18T23:48:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/41 "2006-04-19T06:10:35Z")
Aw, finally we have a nice little throw pillow! Anyone watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann? I seriously want to have that man’s babies. The bottom crawl along had me in hysterics. ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/42 "2006-04-19T06:34:54Z")
At least it was a home birth. Well, as much as any birth on Teegeeack can be considered “home”. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/43 "2006-04-19T07:42:38Z")
Time to send the wee monster to [Sea Org](http://www.xenu.net/archive/so/). ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/44 "2006-04-19T08:25:10Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > How big is a placenta, like 5 to 10 lbs? Nah. Two pounds is considered big. When totnak was born the midwives were oohing and aahing over the one-kilo-on-the-nose placenta. Still, though, when’s the last time you ate a pound and a half of any _common_ meat in one sitting? That’s a big slab of dead flesh, there. (Yep, midwives/OBs have to look at the placenta. They need to make sure it’s whole, because if anything is left inside it can be dangerous for the new mamma. Did I mention I’m so glad I don’t have to look at placentas every day?) ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/45 "2006-04-19T10:35:31Z")
> [@DeadlyAccurate](#): > > Well, according to abcnews, Suri means Princess in Hebrew. No it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/46 "2006-04-19T11:54:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **DeadlyAccurate** > Well, according to abcnews, Suri means Princess in Hebrew. > [@Alessan](#): > > No it doesn’t. Right, it doesn’t. My daughter’s name is Sarah, which means ‘Princess’ in Hebrew. She loves reminding me of this, and then I remind her we’re not Jewish. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/47 "2006-04-19T12:02:30Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > My local news just aired the story of the birth. They lauded Cruise as a “first-time father”. As if adopted kids don’t count. I suppose that technically he’s their guardian. “First-time biological father” isn’t catchy with the press. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/48 "2006-04-19T12:24:00Z")
> [@ninevah](#): > > And now Suri Cruise has her own [Wikipedia entry](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suri_Cruise) I really want to add a bit about her being the moon-child which will bring the entire planet into the state of Clear, or something like that, but I have legitimate articles I don’t want to jeopardize. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/49 "2006-04-19T15:24:20Z")
Okay, I got another one. She’s the Suri with the lunatic fringe as her pop! ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/50 "2006-04-19T15:43:32Z")
As for the placenta, let’s go Asian/Fusion…it’s a shame that there was never an Iron Chef Placenta Battle. Placenta Nigiri Placenta Tar Tar Placenta Tataki Placenta Mousse, with Placenta/Wine Reduction ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/51 "2006-04-19T16:55:06Z")
So, let me see if I got this whole thing about “self control” right…[ul] [li]Screaming in actual physical pain while giving birth - not OK.[/li][li]Jumping around on a couch like a spastic flea to express how much in love you are - OK.[/li][/ul] Do I have this right? ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/52 "2006-04-19T17:45:40Z")
No, not right. Those around the pregnant mother are to be quiet. She can yell all she wants. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/53 "2006-04-19T18:04:36Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Grier Hammond Henchy… That sounds less like a little girl and more like a pear tree. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/54 "2006-04-19T18:09:45Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > She’s the Suri with the lunatic fringe as her pop! Great, I’m going to be humming that all day. How long did that take you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/55 "2006-04-19T18:28:56Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Ironic that Brooke gives birth on the same day as TomKat Spawn? > I feel so sorry for little Suri. Well, the birthday parties should be interesting… ---
**Author:** ![cruel\_butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@cruel\_butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cruel_butterfly)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/56 "2006-04-19T18:36:53Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > No, not right. Those around the pregnant mother are to be quiet. She can yell all she wants. I thought it was like this (I could be wrong): The mother can respond to the pain of childbirth in ways ranging from moaning to screaming, but she is discouraged from using profanity even while enduring the most intense contractions and the birth itself. My understanding of it comes from an inset within the article in the edition of People magazine that confirmed Katie’s pregnancy (November?). Lisa Remini (a Scientologist) clarified the “silent birth” controversy, describing her experience with it. She said something like: no one expects a woman giving birth to be completely silent, but she should try her best to say as few words as possible (or something like that). ---
**Author:** ![cruel\_butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@cruel\_butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cruel_butterfly)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/57 "2006-04-19T18:38:34Z")
Leah (not Lisa) Remini ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/58 "2006-04-19T18:52:58Z")
That’s funny, I just saw these four guys riding by on big horses with swords and scythes and stuff… _scratches head_ Weird. Oh, well, back to work. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/59 "2006-04-19T20:13:09Z")
From [here](http://et.tv.yahoo.com/newslink/14483/): > [@](#): > > MANDY MOORE summed up Hollywood’s current baby boom. “It’s like babies are popping out all over. Congratulations to everyone.” It just struck me as funny. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227/60 "2006-04-19T21:09:44Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > I think it’s a good thing it was a girl. I was afraid a boy might get saddled with the name L. Ron or Xenu. $cienos would never name a child Xenu, since he’s their arch-enemy. It would be like devout Christians naming their child Satan, it would never happen, not even in an effort to “take back the name” because the name of Xenu has only ever existed in one context, something L. Ron Hubbard made up when he came up with the story of Xenu, who, being an intergalactic warlord of sorts who hated overpopulation, gathered up all the lowlifes and criminals, brought them to earth, stuffed them into volcanos, exploded them using H-Bombs, whereupon the souls of all those lowlifes shot out of the volcanos, and now hang in the atmosphere around the entire earth, and, called body thetans, rain down on earth like a fine mist, covering everyone who’s born, and cause all the bad things that happen in the world, and of course, the only way to get rid of them is to use $cientology “auditing” sessions and taking $cientology courses, which cost a lot of money, but even if you get rid of your own, there are all those past lives of yours, all of which have body thetans of their own which you must pay to get rid of, and despite the bundles of money that Xenu is responsible for bringing into $cientology, they’re supposed to hate him because, oooh, he’s a bad guy. Good luck to the beach ball. Poor thing. All hail Xenu. Vickie (sorry, on comma overload) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-katie-holmes-has-given-birth/353227.md?page=4)