# Finally saw Dungeons and Dragons the Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 10, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116 "2003-02-10T15:24:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116/61 "2003-02-15T21:50:28Z")
My votes is for… They Were Stoned. ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116/62 "2003-02-16T00:16:47Z")
When I went to the theater to see the D&D movie, I was all set to enjoy an awesome fantasy film, but instead I got – that. For one thing, the movie has absolutely **nothing** to do with D&D! None of the spells are D&D spells; there’s not even any _fireballs_ or _lightning bolts!_ The beholders are the only D&D monsters in the movie – for 5 seconds. The dragons, who in the game are super-intelligent, are reduced to growling animals in the movie. And, of course, how can anyone like a movie whose most dramatic line is: “You said you’d let them go!” [dramatic chord] “I lied.” Here’s my take on what the next D&D movie should be – a film of the Monte Cook adventure **A Paladin In Hell** where the heroes have to fight their way through a ship full of demons, and **then** have to fight their way through a fortress full of devils, including a former arch-devil! Naturally, we’d use the full range of powers from the **Book of Vile Darkness** in it. We could call the movie **Demons and Devils** and have to submit it to the MPAA 5 times to get an R rating. Now **THAT** would be a movie! ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116/63 "2003-02-16T20:24:47Z")
In almost every way, I find huge faults with this movie… but yet, I kinda liked it. Brian ---
**Author:** ![Bubba\_Ray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bubba\_Ray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bubba_Ray)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116/64 "2003-02-16T21:10:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ricksummon \* > Here’s my take on what the next D&D movie should be – a film of the Monte Cook adventure **A Paladin In Hell** where the heroes have to fight their way through a ship full of demons, and **then** have to fight their way through a fortress full of devils, including a former arch-devil! Naturally, we’d use the full range of powers from the **Book of Vile Darkness** in it. We could call the movie **Demons and Devils** and have to submit it to the MPAA 5 times to get an R rating. Now **THAT** would be a movie! \*\* Dude, I am all with you, if that isnt the next summer blockbuster I dunno what is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116/65 "2003-03-08T07:58:20Z")
I put this movie in my netflix rental queue after reading this thread, and it finally showed up tonight. I think this could very well be the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Now, I’ve seen a lot of bad movies. I saw _Battlefield Earth_ in the theater. _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ is my favorite TV series, ever. For a while, I even thought it was fun to seek out bad movies. _Dungeons and Dragons_ is bad on such a monumental scale I can’t even make fun of it. When it started, I was all ready to make the obvious cracks like “They should’ve re-rolled for a higher acting skill,” or “this movie failed its saving throw against sucking” but then there was Jeremy Irons and the guy with the blue lips getting impregnated by a brain monster and the blue guy with the extra eye and Thora Birch with the worst accent possible and oh my dear god the Wayans, so much horrible Wayans. I couldn’t laugh anymore; I just had to sob. And then the deleted scenes! With director’s commentary! ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116/66 "2003-03-08T08:29:11Z")
\*\*Johnny Angel wrote: Profion was the saving grace of the film. Sure, we all knew Jeremy Irons could act. But not everybody can really overact. That’s a different talent altogether. Unfortunately, they didn’t really give him any lines worth busting a face vein over. But Irons is a consumate professional, so he nearly sacrificed a few anyway. What a guy. He’s definitely going into my D&D movie.\*\* This film does have one saving grace, if you need a definition of _chewing on the scenery_ just show this film and answer all questions. I think Irons had a great time making this film. He got a chance to really chew on the scenery but know that this monstrosity would sink like a stone at the boxoffice so he’d not have to worry about it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/finally-saw-dungeons-and-dragons-the-movie/154116.md?page=3)