# Financial Quotes - Simpsons Style **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 13, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521 "2002-12-13T16:01:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/1 "2002-12-13T16:01:18Z")
All right guys, I am ordering new checks with the Simpsons on them and am being given the option of putting a little quote or message on them. I’d like to put something from the Simpsons dealing with finances or related subject matter but I can’t come up with any off the top of my head. Anyone have any good ones? I want something funny. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/2 "2002-12-13T16:33:22Z")
“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!” “All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.” Homer’s Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! Homer: Explain how! Homer’s Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services Bart: Wow! Look at all this loot! What shall we buy first? Homer: A singing rubber fish of course! Selma: “I have money. I bought stock in a mace company before society crumbled” Dr Nick: “the most rewarding part was when he gave me the money” ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/3 "2002-12-13T16:35:06Z")
Isn’t there also a scene in which Homer enjoins Bart to start smoking just so he can quit, thereby _saving_ money? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/4 "2002-12-13T16:36:03Z")
My personal favorite re: money - FBI agent to Mr. Burns as he’s being arrested for stealing the $1,000,000,000,000 bill: “Mr. Burns, you’re under arrest for grand, grand, grand larceny.” ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/5 "2002-12-13T16:49:15Z")
I forget the specific circumstances, but someone compliments Mr. Burns on what a rich, rich man he is. Burns: Yes, but I’d trade it all for a little more. ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/6 "2002-12-13T16:55:00Z")
A few I found, most of them are kind of long… “Who needs college? Were trillionaires! Let’s buy dune buggies!” -Lisa “No money, no cheque, not even a lousy card. Oh wait, there was a card, that’s what got me so mad in the first place.” -Homer “I can’t believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!” -Homer “Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure…not even close.” -Homer “All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.” -Homer ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/7 "2002-12-13T16:57:21Z")
How about Homers “Can you pay me under the table? I’m having a little tax problem.” ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/8 "2002-12-13T17:24:13Z")
“We’re rich! Rich as Astronauts!” ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/9 "2002-12-13T17:35:31Z")
(After only getting pocket change from selling grease) Bart: Dad, all that bacon cost over $20. Homer: But your mom paid for that! Bart: But she gets her money from you! Homer: And I get my money from grease, what’s the problem? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/10 "2002-12-13T17:45:17Z")
I like the conversation Homer had with his brain, myself. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/11 "2002-12-13T18:08:15Z")
Homer: Extended warranty, how can I lose! ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/12 "2002-12-13T21:14:34Z")
Much too long for your purposes, I think, but one of my very favorite ever: Mr Burns: If it’s a crime to love one’s country, then I’m guilty. And if it’s a crime to steal a trillion dollars, then I’m guilty of that too. And if it’s a crime to bribe a jury, I’ll soon be guilty of that too! –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/financial-quotes-simpsons-style/142521/13 "2002-12-13T21:58:46Z")
Homer to the art gallery owner, after his barbecue hit her car, “I suppose you want to sue me too.” “No I don’t” “Oh, yes you do, the average settlement amount is $64,000. Here you go.” Pulls money out of wallet.