# find 50 ways to leave your lover.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 28, 2008, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489 "2008-08-28T00:02:50Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 3

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2008, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489/41 "2008-09-03T11:15:39Z")

</div>

Just get on a jet, **Freekalette**  
Tell her you don’t feel the same way, **bbs2K**  
Don’t do her any harm, **Robot Arm**  
Tell her you have to fly, **Mr Bus Guy**  
Just don’t be a fucker, **Earl Snake-Hips Tucker**  
Tell her you prefer sheep to a gal, **Hal**

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489/42 "2008-09-03T12:57:53Z")

</div>

Take a rocket into space, Ace

Chow down like a cannibal, Hannibal

Burn her as a witch, Mitch

Crawl under a rock, Jock

Go punch a lion, Brian

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489/43 "2008-09-03T13:15:26Z")

</div>

Commit suicide, Clyde.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2008, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489/44 "2008-09-03T13:24:22Z")

</div>

Get penis stuck in nut, King Tut.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2008, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489/45 "2008-09-03T13:32:00Z")

</div>

Drop her in the gorge, George.  
Tell her she’s not your pick, Dick.  
Just be gone, John.  
Toss your hair like Farrah, Sarah.

Say you’re shipping out for Iraq, Barack.  
Just go with the flow, Joe.  
Lock him in the pillory, Hillary.  
Just tell her to chill, Bill.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2008, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489/46 "2008-09-03T13:37:15Z")

</div>

I am totally stealing some of these for the next time I do this song.

Very very funny.  
Just bury her in the cellar, fella!

Try to stick it in her fanny, Danny

Run over her Jack Russell, Jack Russell

Give her cat a high kick, Nick

Tell you ain’t comin’ back, Barack

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2008, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489/47 "2008-09-03T13:52:08Z")

</div>

Say her back is too hairy, Gary

Start a disgusting canard, Bernard

Just keep on lyin’ Ryan

Tell her you’re a mutant, Xavier

Say her ass is too bony, Tony

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/find-50-ways-to-leave-your-lover/461489.md?page=2)